37. How to put yourself out there as an introvert (with Nancy Yang)

The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

Two ideas that have inspired Nancy:

• Have fun losing face
• There’s no shame showing my work if I’m doing a great job

Nancy’s journey to being more outspoken

Career progression is seldom linear
Why is it that when put on the spot, the words don’t come?

• Introverts are deep thinkers and take extra time to process and prepare our responses
• Fear of being judged, fear of criticism - “Mental S.O.S.”
  • Self-doubt / Impostor Syndrome
  • Overthinking mistakes and failures and potential disastrous consequences
  • Self-criticism - introverts criticize themselves before other critics do

Why psychological safety is essential for introverts
How do we overcome the tendency to overthink and criticize ourselves
How to counter the tendency to ask “What if?” and imagine the worst-case scenario

• Say to yourself: So what? (e.g. so what if I flub the presentation? At least I learned something and next time I will do better)
• Ask yourself: Is it true? (e.g. will I lose my job because I flubbed the presentation? Highly unlikely)

Being a perfectionist is not unique to introverts
How can introverts be their authentic selves when speaking and communicating

• Make sure you know your compelling why for speaking
• Introverts can speak and inspire (Brene Brown)
• Desensitization: challenge yourself one step at a time, don’t scare yourself
  • Practise by yourself. Video yourself speaking on your phone about your chosen topic - listen to the recording (audio only) and observe your tonality and use of filler words. Then watch the video (without the audio) and notice your body language and what you can improve
  • Practise with others (start with friends, then expand to strangers)
  • Practise in real life

Flipping “What if” to a positive reframe:
What if I engage the audience really well?
How do introverts speak up and get noticed in meetings at work?

• Prepare a question or comment
• Volunteer to be the minute-taker or timekeeper
• Use your body language to lean in to the table or the Zoom screen
• Speak up as early as possible

References:

Nancy Yang, The Nine Secrets of a Social and Confident Introvert

About Nancy Yang:

Nancy helps introverts with Asian background communicate assertively with confidence and build a strong social network.
Connect with Nancy:
https://linktr.ee/nancyyangbiz

This episode was edited by Aura House Productions