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244: Genuine Connections vs. Traditional Networking: Strategies for Mom Founders Without the Sleaze

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Inhoud geleverd door Melissa Llarena. Alle podcastinhoud, inclusief afleveringen, afbeeldingen en podcastbeschrijvingen, wordt rechtstreeks geüpload en geleverd door Melissa Llarena of hun podcastplatformpartner. Als u denkt dat iemand uw auteursrechtelijk beschermde werk zonder uw toestemming gebruikt, kunt u het hier beschreven proces https://nl.player.fm/legal volgen.

Ever wonder why networking events feature few mothers starting businesses? I have been thinking about this for the past 13 years and am ready to explain why it is so important to me. Often feeling like the lone mother in the room, I started to wonder why more amazing mother entrepreneurs weren't out there networking?

Here’s what I’ve heard:

"The kids are getting ready for bed, and happy hours are as sleazy as a meat market," is what I've overheard. 🧐 "I don’t have time to schmooze, and as an introvert, I stick to the hors d'oeuvres table." 🧐 "Networking feels awkward, and I never follow up with people I meet." Send me a DM https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ if you’ve ever had one of those thoughts stop you from going to a networking event?

These incredible moms are running businesses with a purpose, and they want to change the world through the products they sell, the organizations they support, and the lives they touch. They are, however, passing up networking chances that may prove invaluable to the development of their businesses.

I go into detail on how networking has changed my career trajectory. Networking has done wonders for my business, opening doors to virtual coffee conversations, podcast guest spots, and public relations chances. I’ll share personal stories about how connecting with new people and stepping out of my comfort zone made a huge difference for me—and why I believe you can experience the same benefits. Join me as I explore ways to make networking easier, more enjoyable, and more effective for all you amazing mom founders out there!

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Why conventional networking events often feel impractical and inauthentic for mom entrepreneurs balancing business and family.

  • Insights into alternative networking approaches that resonate more with mom founders, such as virtual coffee chats.

  • The journey to pure authenticity and its pivotal role in effective networking.

  • Power of stillness, playful interactions, and creative expressions in reawakening imagination for genuine connections.

  • A compelling story of a powerful attorney who overcame her networking insecurities through personalized strategies.

  • Concept of the “lifetime value of a connection” and its importance for mom founders.

  • Strategies for fostering non-transactional, mutually beneficial relationships over time.

  • A heartwarming case study of a relationship that evolved from a simple survey response to a lasting friendship.

  • Advantages and challenges of being an introvert in the world of networking.

  • How introverts can effectively leverage their unique strengths to build true connections.

  • Significance of reconnecting with old acquaintances who share similar business goals.

  • Encouragement for mom founders to confidently reach out and establish connections, even if they feel they have little to offer at the moment.

  • Practical advice on creating your own networking opportunities and embracing your authentic self in business interactions.

This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination to Networking Success, my 9-week group coaching program for visionary mom founders who have decided they are going to become power strategic networkers because they do not want to miss out on one more opportunity for maximum business growth! A program for a founder who wants a step-by-step process that works. My approach which I have used over and over and helped my client use too is called the Imagination to Impact and Income Method ™ and it will help you connect with right people, lead the right conversations, and swing open the right doors to success.

If you want to learn more, then schedule a free call on www.melissallarena.com/sessions today.

DM me on Instagram @melissallarena just type the word SESSION and I’ll share the link if that’s easier to see my calendar availability for this free call where you will get all the details you’ll need to know if this program is the perfect fit for you and to hear about the extra bonuses available only this summer to the first mom founders who join. Here’s that link: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

About Melissa Llarena

I’m a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins).

Quotes from Melissa , that can change your perspective:

"Genuine connections. I think that's what a lot of mom founders are striving for."

"More than that, they're also open to having a sincere conversation with the real you."

"So when it comes to forging a genuine connection, and it comes to making networking work for you as a mom. Really, it's about bringing your personality and your enthusiasm beyond your business’ capabilities but including your mom-side too."

"So the spark for me to think how I could introduce myself to then create a genuine connection, it comes from a place of expansive thinking and that is step one as it relates to the networking that actually works for a mom founder."

"If you feel like you're getting hugs from people, if you feel like you're yourself, you're going to make it a habit. A recent client was met with HUGS at a networking conference and it took all the nerves out for her. Imagine what’s possible for you if you applied some of the pre-networking research and outreach guidance in this episode?" - Melissa Llarena

"Your relationship, because again, if you're going to be reimagining it as less about you and more about others is going to be long-term and that’s the beauty. You can create a genuine connection today that can even help your kids later. This reframe is why I want more mom founders to intentionally network.” -Melissa Llarena

"If you feel that networking is sleazy and transactional, you're freaking right." -Melissa Llarena

SHARE this episode and schedule a free session with me this week if you believe your mission deserves more. Discover how to turn your networking struggles into opportunities that can transform your business and life.

In our 30-minute call, you’ll gain insights into how you might be approaching networking incorrectly and how to improve. Learn how to own your networking approach, be bolder, and feel confident.

Visit melissallarena.com/sessions to book your complimentary session and start making impactful connections today!

Supporting Resources:

Schedule a free call to see if Fertile Imagination to Networking Success my signature program is the right fit: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/

Podcast: Mom Founder Imagination Hub: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MelissaLlarena/

Or, grab for free your copy of the “From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur's Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook”: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87

Subscribe and Review

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I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Melissa: This relationship is going to be long term and the sort of value that you might add up front might not be the same as what you can add later on. So don't cut yourself out of those opportunities and also don't stop yourself because you don't think you have anything to contribute.

00:00:00 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business. Find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing, so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have re-imagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it?

00:00:40 Melissa: Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs, who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm gonna give you the mindset, methods and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.

00:01:09 Melissa: Genuine connections. I think that's what a lot of mom founders are striving for. I was talking to a mom founder the other day. I think she's been in business for like 15 years and I mentioned the word Networking. And for her, it was like something that was sleazy, it was transactional, inauthentic, and it just didn't align with why she had a business. She was led by a mission, she had an ambitious mission, she also had a lot of, you know, heart and soul in terms of the message that she wants to put out in the world. And so there was a conflict there, right?

00:01:45 Melissa: So let's talk about in this episode, specifically for you, a mom founder, someone who nurtures her family, someone who nurtures her business, someone who absolutely has opted to create something that is deeply meaningful because again, it is time away from your kids. So it has to reach a certain criteria. Let's talk about how networking is getting a bad rap and how what I help mom founders do is nothing like traditional networking. I mean, it is the reason why I got into this.

00:02:19 Melissa: Here's a story, and let me know if this resonates because I think a lot of us as we go out there and go to these happy hours, there's so much that is just left to the imagination; hoping was actually there. One of them is authenticity. That is what I've noticed in a lot of happy hours, just like the regular run of the mill, after work situations, right? So you know, when it comes to what I have been doing over the last 12 years as a coach to mom founders, ones that I want to really get good at building connections with the right people faster while skipping gatekeepers and not relying on warm intros, which tend to take a ton of time, is this.

00:03:04 Melissa: I have been, you know, in attendance of, a lot of these happy hours. I have been really scouring the earth, it feels like it, since I lived in Australia and now I live in Austin, that, you know, there are communities for just about everyone when it comes to physical in-person real life events. But when I go to these events, which are amazing, there are not a lot of mom founders there, and here are the reasons why a lot of us are not out there. Some of them are, like, so obvious, and that is why I wanted to approach networking in a totally different way, where we're using our imagination, hence the name of this podcast.

00:03:45 Melissa: So here are some of the excuses or reasons, again, they're just valid. They're totally valid if you're limited by what you've heard about networking. So here's one, it's my kids' bedtime and happy hours are just meat markets. I totally get it and I totally, been there. Here's the other thing, I don't have time to schmooze and as an introvert, I just stick around with the hors d'oeuvres all night. I get that too. I know a lot of introverts personally. I'm an ambivert, which I talk about in my group coaching program, which is someone who can adjust according to situations.

00:04:26 Melissa: But I understand how you might want to prefer staying home than being around people that you don't know, and that you have no idea are going to actually help you. Here's the other reason why a lot of mom founders do not network in the traditional sense. So again, I'm thinking about going to golf courses or going to BNI meetings or attending whatever other, you know, local community events that there might exist. So networking feels awkward and I never follow up with the people I meet.

00:04:57 Melissa: Have you ever dropped the ball? I wanna say that in like, this like blast format because I feel like a lot of us, myself included, so I'm imperfect when it comes to traditional networking, you know, really, we drop the ball sometimes, right? You meet all these people, maybe you didn't bring a pen, you didn't bring a pad, maybe you didn't figure out a way to actually get all those QR codes synced up with LinkedIn or whatever other database you use. And then you just don't follow up with really amazingly interesting people.

00:05:27 Melissa: I get that, and that is the reason why over these last 12 years, I was like, there has got to be a different way, a better way, a way for me, for you as a mom founder, to use our imagination so that we can find another pathway to talk to the right people who could really help us take our business to the next level, so that this way, we can not miss out on those opportunities that are happening out there in the field.

00:05:54 Melissa: Instead, what about creating your own opportunity? What about inviting someone to your little office or little kitchen corner and having a coffee chat over Zoom? And that is a lot of what I do. And oftentimes people are so surprised that people who are, and it feels like above your weight category, are open to those sincere conversations. More than that, they're also open to having a sincere conversation with the real you.

00:06:28 Melissa: I know a lot of people who have launched businesses because when they worked for corporate or they worked for someone else, they were slapped on their wrists for being themselves, for bringing that loud laugh, for bringing that belly laugh, for being someone who, you know, just was themselves, right? And I wanna be sure that now that you have a business, my goodness, you have a business! It's your own business. Your name might be on the shingles outside metaphorically, that there's an alignment like you have never experienced in your past.

00:07:00 Melissa: So again, when it comes to networking, I really want to just drill deep into the fact that traditional networking, you're right, does not work for mom founders. Those excuses, they're real, they're legit. For a mom, as an example, if you're gonna network at a conference and you have to take a flight, and you have to then get a hotel, you also have to, almost like, run your family through a telephone call here, there, and everywhere. So there's a lot of nuance and the bar is higher when it comes to deciding whether or not to network traditionally for you.

00:07:41 Melissa: And so I get it, and that's why I wanna fix it. I wanna be sure that you are in a position of power and maximum creativity to actually find your own way to network. Even if you're an introvert, even if you're someone who, you know, doesn't have all the outfits because you just had a baby, even if you feel like, you know, you don't even know where your iron is because you lost it or something, I mean, I want there to be a way. And when there is a will, there is a way.

00:08:08 Melissa: So here we go, okay! So why is networking so important to a mom founder very, very specifically? So here's what I have realized. I have had conversations with mom founders who are in different incubators, who are out there, you know, creating products, could be a skincare line that is natural because they found some sort of need for that in the market. And they have shared with me that they hate networking and that they feel like it's a boys club and they feel like all the opportunities, you know, to get funding are given to men and all they have to do is draw a little, you know, icon or whatever, or a business model on a napkin, right? Think about Southwest Airlines.

00:08:54 Melissa: And then, I thought to myself, well, I don't believe that to be true. I don't believe it to be true that there's this like, captive audience that is privy to opportunities, that a mom founder cannot figure out a way with the use of her imagination and my method, into even before those conversations or those beautiful napkin drawings. And I think it takes a lot of persistence.

00:09:20 Melissa: So I'm not going to lie about that. I do know that it also takes a lot of creativity and you cannot leave your personality out the door. Because when you are at your most stressed out moment, the real you is going to come out. So you want to be sure that up front you introduce yourself as the real you.

00:09:38 Melissa: So let's talk about networking and let's talk about how through my process and the way that I approach networking, you can have those genuine connections that are not transactional, not sleazy and actually produce a lot of fruit.

00:09:53 Melissa: So here we go, I was scouring LinkedIn the other day, and I noticed that a wonderful person, his name is [Vinny] and I'll share why I named his name in a bit. He basically was celebrating his birthday and on LinkedIn, he decided to do something that was so, so, so generous. And so his act of generosity was inviting all his contacts to just list in the comments on the day of his birthday what it is that they needed and maybe, someone in their network could help them.

00:10:22 Melissa: And when I saw that, I saw that as an opportunity to network. And when I say network, what I mean by that is to talk to the right people, have the right conversations, and see if there's some sort of alignment between what that person wants and what I have to offer. And so I decided, again, this was all proactive, all taking the initiative, a lot of you, mom founders do the same thing in different categories of your life.

00:10:51 Melissa: And I decided to introduce myself to this complete stranger. So happens that he has a podcast, doesn't so happen because I looked at his profile on LinkedIn, but he has a podcast that is for small businesses, and it is by Experian. And so you may have heard Experian, and he was basically not actively looking for guests on that small business podcast. However, I presented myself and I basically said I would like the opportunity to be a guest on your podcast.

00:11:21 Melissa: And that was all because, a shared connection, the guy named [Vinny] had put on his birthday on LinkedIn, this opportunity, you know, chime in and say what you need on LinkedIn. And when I saw that, I acted upon that. So that is part of the networking that I teach my [mom founder] clients. It is not like, let me talk to this person totally from nowhere and absolutely not say why I think they're like, so, so cool.

00:11:48 Melissa: So this is how I approached this guy from Experian. And the reason why I'm gonna share this story with you is because that person I have a podcast interview with in like the next half hour. And he pointed out my process in a way that I had not realized before. It was this. So again, the guy was [Vinny] that we both knew and my outbound email to this person, this podcast, included the following. We both know [Vinny] and know he is not my cousin. That was a joke, right?

00:12:21 Melissa: That is how I led the conversation with someone that works for an organization, who is not an entrepreneur, but with whom I would like to do business. How is it that I had the confidence to be myself in that initial interaction? Here is how. Having partnered with so many mom founders in the past, I know the sort of email spammy pitches we get on places like LinkedIn. I also know being a podcaster, how a lot of these like top notch head honcho people, our approach on different, you know, channels, right?

00:12:55 Melissa: So for example, when I interviewed Beth Comstock, the former CMO of GE, I know that the prior emails that she got on LinkedIn were super spammy and authentic. So I knew that I could cut through that noise and be myself. And as a mom, as someone who's so genuine in her at-home life, it is so hard and so much extra energy to play someone that you're not just because traditional networking would have you be someone that you're not. And I don't want that for you.

00:13:29 Melissa: So when it comes to forging a genuine connection and it comes to making networking work for you as a mom, really it's about bringing your personality and your enthusiasm, not just for what you sell, but for that person that you're reaching out to, and it's gotta be legit. Otherwise people smell b*llshit and you don't want to have that out there.

00:13:51 Melissa: Okay, so let me share with you a little bit about my method because I think it's gonna really help frame the entire context. So in my method, it is called the imagination to impact to income method. And so it's a step-by-step solution that is gonna help you create genuine relationships consistently and quickly for mom founders, just like you. And so when it comes to imagination, that is where your personality comes into play right? So you want to be yourself. How can you get to that place of pure authenticity?

00:14:26 Melissa: Well, sometimes when it comes to, like reawakening my imagination, which for a lot of us, it's a sleep because we've got a lot going on and we're distracted. For me, sometimes it's a moment of stillness. Sometimes it's just, you know, singing in my shower. Sometimes it is playing with my child and explaining to my child who I am, what I do in very, very simple terms, so the spark for me to think how I could introduce myself to then, create a genuine connection, it comes from a place of expansive thinking. And that is step one, as it relates to the networking that actually works for a mom founder, right?

00:15:05 Melissa: So for someone who's so passionate about her product or service, to then follow this like, totally like predictable, conventional way of introducing yourself and being super boring and not distinguishing yourself, it doesn't make sense. And it's not going to work, and it's why you won't do it consistently, because oftentimes you think to yourself, this doesn't feel right. This feels sleazy, but there's another way. And through my method and with my support, I can help you actually figure out how to use this new way of networking, which is about being authentic and being super intentional and thoughtful and planning it out based on the real you.

00:15:43 Melissa: Because again, as a mom founder, you are very specifically stretched, stretched beyond capacity oftentimes. The bandwidth that we have that we're operating with, is very limited, and if you have to pretend to be someone you are not, that is taking up your bandwidth and you don't have enough to go around. So you want to be sure that you optimize your approach, whether it is in networking, business development, going and pitching yourself to media. The same concept applies and I could help you throughout any of those scenarios.

00:16:15 Melissa: So let me share with you this other idea. So I love this. This is when, like there's like the mom difference in how to approach networking and make it not sleazy at all, like totally warm and fuzzy, but so effective and very profitable. So a client of mine was really, really thinking about this whole idea. Okay, I'm going to a conference. I really don't know, kind of, how to approach it. I feel a little insecure in terms of, like the outfits I'm wearing, I haven't gotten out in a bit and I am just like not knowing what to expect, this is the first time away from my family. So that was the scenario.

00:16:51 Melissa: And what we did was, I applied a multi-step process. So before you actually attend a conference, go to an event or talk to someone, there is certain research that needs to be done so that you don't waste your time, so that you can squeeze the juice out of that situation, right? And again, this is so tailored for a mom founder. You have limited energy and when you go somewhere, it needs to actually prove out an ROI for you. So you wanna be sure you do all this research upfront.

00:17:21 Melissa: Part of that, and this is such a sneak peek into my group coaching program. So Fertile Imagination to Networking Success is the group coaching program that I run. But what I do is I have my clients look at, like, the speaker list at an event or like the people that are going to be on panels. And also, you know, if there's an app for the event, look to see who's going to go there, but I have my clients pre-introduce themselves to the people that make sense, given the alignment with their goals or just your curiosity because you're human. There are some people that are really interesting and why not, like pre-introduce yourself.

00:18:02 Melissa: So she attends this event and I had not seen this because I had not attended events with my clients. But I saw that, like people wanted a hugger. People wanted a hugger. People felt like they already knew her. And you know what it did for the client? She used to be scared of attending these networking events. And I wanna just add some context here. She was a powerful attorney, so she was scared. What does that tell you? That tells you that when you are mission-driven, when your business is so personal to you, even if you have, like, the world's fanciest degree, or you might have, like, all the money in the world for whatever reason, like, some of these little insecurities, they pop up and they could hold you back.

00:18:45 Melissa: So imposter syndrome, it is real. Even if you have, like, a JD, LLM, MBA, whatever sort of alphabet you wanna put after your name. And so for her, she was getting hugs. Like how is that traditional networking? It's not, it's not. It's what I teach my mom founders through my group coaching program, and one-on-one coaching programs too. And I love it, I love it because if you feel like you're getting hugs from people, if you feel like you're yourself, you're going to make it a habit. You're gonna be more consistent because it's gonna feel more like, with ease.

00:19:18 Melissa: And I think that's a big difference because I know a lot of times you start networking. You're like, all right, I'm getting really good at it. I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. And then you stop. And why is it that you saw? Because it's taking extra energy, because it's outside of your comfort zone, because you have to now think of things that you never thought about before. I get it, and that's why I wanted to fix it for mom founders. You know why? Mom founders, the ones that I've helped and I supported, they have the most wonderful products and services. And oftentimes it comes out of a need that I'm in alignment with.

00:19:50 Melissa: For example, if you go and build out a TV show that is to help children eat more nutritiously, like I am all for you. Or if you go and you decide to do a nonprofit because you see that there's a challenge in the world, like I am so there. Like it's really interesting. The bar is high when it comes to a mom who decides to actually lay the foundation of a business, because it's time away from your kids. So oftentimes, the degree of fulfillment that you seek in terms of your business is super, super high.

00:20:24 Melissa: And in those cases, I want to help you because that means that you want to make an impact. That means that you're not just selling something that's a throwaway item, you're selling something that means something to you, means something to the person that's purchasing it or donating. And I want to be part of that. And so that's why I was like, you know what, I'm not seeing enough moms in these situations; and whether or not they're right for you or you can do it in this season of motherhood, there's always another way.

00:20:48 Melissa: The other day I was talking to a mom who is a bookkeeper and she has this wonderful agency and she's like so streamlined. And what I thought was really fascinating was, there was an event that was happening at a particular time. She's a single mom and she could not attend the event. And so that invited me to then tell her, well, is there another way that you could get in touch with those event organizers? Is there another way that you can get that information? There is another way.

00:21:14 Melissa: And again, that's where the imagination piece of my method comes into play. So what is that other way for you? And I gave her a, insight. If you wanna hear that insight, a little bit about that more later. Okay, so here's the whole thing. You're different. You're just different. You just are, you have all these obligations and you have a lot of things that are outside of your control. So what does that mean? That means that when you're gonna go and build a relationship, for you, it has to be a high value relationship.

00:21:42 Melissa: And let me explain exactly what that means. You know how a lot of businesses, they have the lifetime value of a customer, or you know, how they have, you know, this notion of like one person can keep shopping, you know, your products and services. Well, I have taken that concept and I've turned it around. And for me, it's really about the bond or the connection. So instead of the lifetime value of a customer, the lifetime value of a connection. And I think that is how a mom can make networking work for her. What does that mean?

00:22:13 Melissa: That means that when you are there and making a… forging a connection with a human being one time, the idea is that you're gonna stick around for a long time, right? So it's not just, like, transactional. Right now you're gonna help me and I'm gonna say, peace out, thank you for the help. That's not it at all. That is not how you're gonna optimize all that effort it takes to even like, find the right people and make the right connection and have the right conversations. Instead, you have to consider the long view, the long term, right? So how is it that you're going to increase the value of that bond?

00:22:47 Melissa: And that's what I call, this idea of having a relationship with someone when you start to network with them. What does that mean? So that means that, I want to be sure that partnering with me, being with me, hanging out with me is better for the two of us than us being apart, right? And so I say that in my group coaching program, Fertile Imagination to Networking Success. It's really about thinking to yourself, okay, so here we are, it's, you know, 2024, and I might not yet be like this, like, fancy schmancy entrepreneur. And I might not be able to reciprocate or pay you back for whatever favor or situation that we're in right now, but I've got the long-term view in our relationship.

00:23:27 Melissa: Again, it's about being genuine, not sleazy, not transactional, not one-time. And I have a sense that I'm going to be able to help you later on in time, and that should give you some confidence, right? A lot of times people are hesitant to reach out to people that are outside of their weight category, so to speak, in terms of networking, because you don't feel like you have enough to contribute right now. But if like a mom, you started thinking about every situation that you're in and relationship that you have in the long term, you will always be able to make it up in the long term. Let me share a case study with you.

00:24:00 Melissa: So this was early, maybe like 2013 or so. I put out a survey to my newsletter and I asked questions pertaining to entrepreneurship, very long time ago. And I got a survey result back that was like mind blowing. It was so detailed, so helpful that I had to get on the phone with the person who filled it out. Here's the best part. I think I was, yeah, this was like my kid, my first kid was a baby and I was not sleeping still. But I was like, you know what? I have to talk to this person. So I got on the phone, her name was Shadiah, and I wanted to just find out more about her. I didn't know her.

00:24:39 Melissa: And at the time she wasn't an entrepreneur, but she had the guts to reach out to me. She knew, she was like, you know what? I'm probably gonna stay in touch with Melissa, right? And I felt the same way about her. So when I was in San Francisco, I decided to see her in person. Again, this was after her filling out a survey, being super helpful, getting on the phone, and then me going to San Francisco. So, building upon the sincere, genuine relationship. And so I went, and Shadiah, just to kind of update that. So Shadiah, I met with her in San Francisco. And again, she was at that time launching HoneyBook, I believe, and you may have heard of it. And she was amazing, right?

00:25:18 Melissa: So I made the time to meet her in person, again, building that relationship, that bond. So slowly but slowly. She was speeding up in her entrepreneurial journey and I was slowing down at the time because I was then gonna have identical twins. And so it kind of felt like the roles were a little turned, right? So now she starts, like increasing her perceived value even though as humans we always come into this world with value, but from a business perspective right? The relationships that she had, the conversations that she was having, her success entrepreneurial. So it was changing.

00:25:48 Melissa: Then recently, I noticed that she now has a company called Kinside and she is on the ink list of top 100 most inspiring companies out there. And I know she's funded and there's some sort of valuations out there that are like over a billion dollars. So at this point, you know, I say this because, you know, Shadiah early on had the guts to reach out to me, right? We were in different situations at the time. Now she's a mom, and now we get to talk about mom stuff. And I also want to just say that your relationship, because again, if you're going to be taking networking and you're going to be flipping it around for yourself, and I can teach you how to do it, this relationship is going to be long term.

00:26:34 Melissa: And the sort of value that you might add up front might not be the same as what you can add later on. So don't cut yourself out of those opportunities. And also don't stop yourself because you don't think you have anything to contribute. So there are lots of ways that networking can be reframed for you, a mom founder.

00:26:53 Melissa: And I wanna invite you to the very next step, which I would welcome a conversation to get to know you. I wanna hear on a free 30 minute consultation, just go to MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. This is gonna be in the show notes, wherever you're listening, it's gonna be in the description on YouTube as well. I invite you to go ahead and apply for a free consultation. They're 30 minutes, they're exclusively for mom founders. And I want to hear what your networking plan is for the rest of this year.

00:27:24 Melissa: I want to know, like, how you're also embodying the real you when it comes to networking. I also want to know where there might be a little hesitation, right? So I feel like I could totally help you clear that out during that 30 minute session so that this way you could be a lot more enthusiastic about talking to strangers as you are about the product and service that you're bringing into the world.

00:27:48 Melissa: On this session, 30 minutes, complimentary, but there is that application. I also want to hear from you in terms of, you know, what do you struggle with, like specifically when it comes to putting yourself out there and networking? What relationship do you have with that word? Is it something that's really hard for you to do consistently? Have you been told maybe in the past that you shouldn't be, you know, that loud or you're a little too much, or you know, maybe you're some sort of undesirable characteristic that you're insecure about going out there, or if you're an introvert. If you're an introvert, we have got to talk.

00:28:26 Melissa: So go and head to the link, MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. If you're driving or running or moving around, just take notes when you have an opportunity. It'll be in the show notes, as I mentioned. And if you're on YouTube, you get to see my hat. I feel like I have, like a networking hat, which is a really fun tip. If you do go out there and network, have something that distinguishes you and is memorable, just like a visual cue. That's this hat I'm wearing, this beige hat. Some people that know me have seen me before with it.

00:28:57 Melissa: But for sure, I wanna have a conversation with you, a mom, founder, especially if you really think that networking is sleazy because it hasn't worked for you and you haven't been consistent with it because it doesn't feel authentic. The way that I can teach you to break free from that is through my method, the imagination impact income method. In that method, I also want to just leave you with this thought.

00:29:25 Melissa: I get that you might feel insecure about putting yourself out there with people that you don't have a warm intro to, or I get that you might think that, you know, being stopped by a gatekeeper is going to be part of your path. But with my method, I figured out a way around both. I also want to just leave you with this thought. The way that you feel is the way that you feel. I don't want you to feel wrong or bad about the way that you feel.

00:29:54 Melissa: So if you feel that traditional networking is sleazy and transactional, you're freaking right. Or if you feel that being an introvert is not advantageous for being, you know, a networker, then I actually wanna question you there because I know differently. I know that there's some superpowers that introverts have when it comes to networking that an ambivert like myself, and I could totally share that definition if we get on the 30 minute session, or an extrovert might not have.

00:30:23 Melissa: And so I am actually going to make that an episode on this podcast. So be sure that you follow me officially on whatever podcast platform you're listening to, this or subscribe here on YouTube. Either way you slice it, I want to hear from you. So go ahead, MelissaLlarena.com/sessions.

00:30:45 Melissa: Thank you. And until next Tuesday, be sure to share this, if this was of value. And you know what? It's a great excuse to reconnect with someone, maybe someone that you haven't spoken to in years, but who's going in the same direction as you are in terms of business. So I invite you to take this as your opportunity. So next step, let's hop on that free 30 minute consultation. Signing off, Melissa Llarena.

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Ever wonder why networking events feature few mothers starting businesses? I have been thinking about this for the past 13 years and am ready to explain why it is so important to me. Often feeling like the lone mother in the room, I started to wonder why more amazing mother entrepreneurs weren't out there networking?

Here’s what I’ve heard:

"The kids are getting ready for bed, and happy hours are as sleazy as a meat market," is what I've overheard. 🧐 "I don’t have time to schmooze, and as an introvert, I stick to the hors d'oeuvres table." 🧐 "Networking feels awkward, and I never follow up with people I meet." Send me a DM https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ if you’ve ever had one of those thoughts stop you from going to a networking event?

These incredible moms are running businesses with a purpose, and they want to change the world through the products they sell, the organizations they support, and the lives they touch. They are, however, passing up networking chances that may prove invaluable to the development of their businesses.

I go into detail on how networking has changed my career trajectory. Networking has done wonders for my business, opening doors to virtual coffee conversations, podcast guest spots, and public relations chances. I’ll share personal stories about how connecting with new people and stepping out of my comfort zone made a huge difference for me—and why I believe you can experience the same benefits. Join me as I explore ways to make networking easier, more enjoyable, and more effective for all you amazing mom founders out there!

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Why conventional networking events often feel impractical and inauthentic for mom entrepreneurs balancing business and family.

  • Insights into alternative networking approaches that resonate more with mom founders, such as virtual coffee chats.

  • The journey to pure authenticity and its pivotal role in effective networking.

  • Power of stillness, playful interactions, and creative expressions in reawakening imagination for genuine connections.

  • A compelling story of a powerful attorney who overcame her networking insecurities through personalized strategies.

  • Concept of the “lifetime value of a connection” and its importance for mom founders.

  • Strategies for fostering non-transactional, mutually beneficial relationships over time.

  • A heartwarming case study of a relationship that evolved from a simple survey response to a lasting friendship.

  • Advantages and challenges of being an introvert in the world of networking.

  • How introverts can effectively leverage their unique strengths to build true connections.

  • Significance of reconnecting with old acquaintances who share similar business goals.

  • Encouragement for mom founders to confidently reach out and establish connections, even if they feel they have little to offer at the moment.

  • Practical advice on creating your own networking opportunities and embracing your authentic self in business interactions.

This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination to Networking Success, my 9-week group coaching program for visionary mom founders who have decided they are going to become power strategic networkers because they do not want to miss out on one more opportunity for maximum business growth! A program for a founder who wants a step-by-step process that works. My approach which I have used over and over and helped my client use too is called the Imagination to Impact and Income Method ™ and it will help you connect with right people, lead the right conversations, and swing open the right doors to success.

If you want to learn more, then schedule a free call on www.melissallarena.com/sessions today.

DM me on Instagram @melissallarena just type the word SESSION and I’ll share the link if that’s easier to see my calendar availability for this free call where you will get all the details you’ll need to know if this program is the perfect fit for you and to hear about the extra bonuses available only this summer to the first mom founders who join. Here’s that link: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

About Melissa Llarena

I’m a bestselling author (learn more on www.fertileideas.com), imagination coach behind the Fertile Imagination to Networking Success Group Coaching Program, consultant, speaker, contributor to ForbesWomen articles that have garnered 4 million-plus views, and the podcast host of the Mom Founder Imagination Hub. Featured guests include GaryVee, Beth Comstock, Suzy Batiz, David Meltzer, and hundreds of other unconventional thinkers. Melissa has been featured in the WSJ, Business Insider, Fox Business, CNN Money, The Huffington Post, and other publications. She holds a psychology degree from NYU, an MBA from the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth, and a Transformational Coaching Academy certificate and is training to become a meditation practitioner. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and three sons (one singleton and a set of identical twins).

Quotes from Melissa , that can change your perspective:

"Genuine connections. I think that's what a lot of mom founders are striving for."

"More than that, they're also open to having a sincere conversation with the real you."

"So when it comes to forging a genuine connection, and it comes to making networking work for you as a mom. Really, it's about bringing your personality and your enthusiasm beyond your business’ capabilities but including your mom-side too."

"So the spark for me to think how I could introduce myself to then create a genuine connection, it comes from a place of expansive thinking and that is step one as it relates to the networking that actually works for a mom founder."

"If you feel like you're getting hugs from people, if you feel like you're yourself, you're going to make it a habit. A recent client was met with HUGS at a networking conference and it took all the nerves out for her. Imagine what’s possible for you if you applied some of the pre-networking research and outreach guidance in this episode?" - Melissa Llarena

"Your relationship, because again, if you're going to be reimagining it as less about you and more about others is going to be long-term and that’s the beauty. You can create a genuine connection today that can even help your kids later. This reframe is why I want more mom founders to intentionally network.” -Melissa Llarena

"If you feel that networking is sleazy and transactional, you're freaking right." -Melissa Llarena

SHARE this episode and schedule a free session with me this week if you believe your mission deserves more. Discover how to turn your networking struggles into opportunities that can transform your business and life.

In our 30-minute call, you’ll gain insights into how you might be approaching networking incorrectly and how to improve. Learn how to own your networking approach, be bolder, and feel confident.

Visit melissallarena.com/sessions to book your complimentary session and start making impactful connections today!

Supporting Resources:

Schedule a free call to see if Fertile Imagination to Networking Success my signature program is the right fit: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/

Podcast: Mom Founder Imagination Hub: https://www.melissallarena.com/podcast/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MelissaLlarena/

Or, grab for free your copy of the “From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur's Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook”: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87

Subscribe and Review

Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators? I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet.

I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Melissa: This relationship is going to be long term and the sort of value that you might add up front might not be the same as what you can add later on. So don't cut yourself out of those opportunities and also don't stop yourself because you don't think you have anything to contribute.

00:00:00 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business. Find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing, so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have re-imagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it?

00:00:40 Melissa: Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs, who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm gonna give you the mindset, methods and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.

00:01:09 Melissa: Genuine connections. I think that's what a lot of mom founders are striving for. I was talking to a mom founder the other day. I think she's been in business for like 15 years and I mentioned the word Networking. And for her, it was like something that was sleazy, it was transactional, inauthentic, and it just didn't align with why she had a business. She was led by a mission, she had an ambitious mission, she also had a lot of, you know, heart and soul in terms of the message that she wants to put out in the world. And so there was a conflict there, right?

00:01:45 Melissa: So let's talk about in this episode, specifically for you, a mom founder, someone who nurtures her family, someone who nurtures her business, someone who absolutely has opted to create something that is deeply meaningful because again, it is time away from your kids. So it has to reach a certain criteria. Let's talk about how networking is getting a bad rap and how what I help mom founders do is nothing like traditional networking. I mean, it is the reason why I got into this.

00:02:19 Melissa: Here's a story, and let me know if this resonates because I think a lot of us as we go out there and go to these happy hours, there's so much that is just left to the imagination; hoping was actually there. One of them is authenticity. That is what I've noticed in a lot of happy hours, just like the regular run of the mill, after work situations, right? So you know, when it comes to what I have been doing over the last 12 years as a coach to mom founders, ones that I want to really get good at building connections with the right people faster while skipping gatekeepers and not relying on warm intros, which tend to take a ton of time, is this.

00:03:04 Melissa: I have been, you know, in attendance of, a lot of these happy hours. I have been really scouring the earth, it feels like it, since I lived in Australia and now I live in Austin, that, you know, there are communities for just about everyone when it comes to physical in-person real life events. But when I go to these events, which are amazing, there are not a lot of mom founders there, and here are the reasons why a lot of us are not out there. Some of them are, like, so obvious, and that is why I wanted to approach networking in a totally different way, where we're using our imagination, hence the name of this podcast.

00:03:45 Melissa: So here are some of the excuses or reasons, again, they're just valid. They're totally valid if you're limited by what you've heard about networking. So here's one, it's my kids' bedtime and happy hours are just meat markets. I totally get it and I totally, been there. Here's the other thing, I don't have time to schmooze and as an introvert, I just stick around with the hors d'oeuvres all night. I get that too. I know a lot of introverts personally. I'm an ambivert, which I talk about in my group coaching program, which is someone who can adjust according to situations.

00:04:26 Melissa: But I understand how you might want to prefer staying home than being around people that you don't know, and that you have no idea are going to actually help you. Here's the other reason why a lot of mom founders do not network in the traditional sense. So again, I'm thinking about going to golf courses or going to BNI meetings or attending whatever other, you know, local community events that there might exist. So networking feels awkward and I never follow up with the people I meet.

00:04:57 Melissa: Have you ever dropped the ball? I wanna say that in like, this like blast format because I feel like a lot of us, myself included, so I'm imperfect when it comes to traditional networking, you know, really, we drop the ball sometimes, right? You meet all these people, maybe you didn't bring a pen, you didn't bring a pad, maybe you didn't figure out a way to actually get all those QR codes synced up with LinkedIn or whatever other database you use. And then you just don't follow up with really amazingly interesting people.

00:05:27 Melissa: I get that, and that is the reason why over these last 12 years, I was like, there has got to be a different way, a better way, a way for me, for you as a mom founder, to use our imagination so that we can find another pathway to talk to the right people who could really help us take our business to the next level, so that this way, we can not miss out on those opportunities that are happening out there in the field.

00:05:54 Melissa: Instead, what about creating your own opportunity? What about inviting someone to your little office or little kitchen corner and having a coffee chat over Zoom? And that is a lot of what I do. And oftentimes people are so surprised that people who are, and it feels like above your weight category, are open to those sincere conversations. More than that, they're also open to having a sincere conversation with the real you.

00:06:28 Melissa: I know a lot of people who have launched businesses because when they worked for corporate or they worked for someone else, they were slapped on their wrists for being themselves, for bringing that loud laugh, for bringing that belly laugh, for being someone who, you know, just was themselves, right? And I wanna be sure that now that you have a business, my goodness, you have a business! It's your own business. Your name might be on the shingles outside metaphorically, that there's an alignment like you have never experienced in your past.

00:07:00 Melissa: So again, when it comes to networking, I really want to just drill deep into the fact that traditional networking, you're right, does not work for mom founders. Those excuses, they're real, they're legit. For a mom, as an example, if you're gonna network at a conference and you have to take a flight, and you have to then get a hotel, you also have to, almost like, run your family through a telephone call here, there, and everywhere. So there's a lot of nuance and the bar is higher when it comes to deciding whether or not to network traditionally for you.

00:07:41 Melissa: And so I get it, and that's why I wanna fix it. I wanna be sure that you are in a position of power and maximum creativity to actually find your own way to network. Even if you're an introvert, even if you're someone who, you know, doesn't have all the outfits because you just had a baby, even if you feel like, you know, you don't even know where your iron is because you lost it or something, I mean, I want there to be a way. And when there is a will, there is a way.

00:08:08 Melissa: So here we go, okay! So why is networking so important to a mom founder very, very specifically? So here's what I have realized. I have had conversations with mom founders who are in different incubators, who are out there, you know, creating products, could be a skincare line that is natural because they found some sort of need for that in the market. And they have shared with me that they hate networking and that they feel like it's a boys club and they feel like all the opportunities, you know, to get funding are given to men and all they have to do is draw a little, you know, icon or whatever, or a business model on a napkin, right? Think about Southwest Airlines.

00:08:54 Melissa: And then, I thought to myself, well, I don't believe that to be true. I don't believe it to be true that there's this like, captive audience that is privy to opportunities, that a mom founder cannot figure out a way with the use of her imagination and my method, into even before those conversations or those beautiful napkin drawings. And I think it takes a lot of persistence.

00:09:20 Melissa: So I'm not going to lie about that. I do know that it also takes a lot of creativity and you cannot leave your personality out the door. Because when you are at your most stressed out moment, the real you is going to come out. So you want to be sure that up front you introduce yourself as the real you.

00:09:38 Melissa: So let's talk about networking and let's talk about how through my process and the way that I approach networking, you can have those genuine connections that are not transactional, not sleazy and actually produce a lot of fruit.

00:09:53 Melissa: So here we go, I was scouring LinkedIn the other day, and I noticed that a wonderful person, his name is [Vinny] and I'll share why I named his name in a bit. He basically was celebrating his birthday and on LinkedIn, he decided to do something that was so, so, so generous. And so his act of generosity was inviting all his contacts to just list in the comments on the day of his birthday what it is that they needed and maybe, someone in their network could help them.

00:10:22 Melissa: And when I saw that, I saw that as an opportunity to network. And when I say network, what I mean by that is to talk to the right people, have the right conversations, and see if there's some sort of alignment between what that person wants and what I have to offer. And so I decided, again, this was all proactive, all taking the initiative, a lot of you, mom founders do the same thing in different categories of your life.

00:10:51 Melissa: And I decided to introduce myself to this complete stranger. So happens that he has a podcast, doesn't so happen because I looked at his profile on LinkedIn, but he has a podcast that is for small businesses, and it is by Experian. And so you may have heard Experian, and he was basically not actively looking for guests on that small business podcast. However, I presented myself and I basically said I would like the opportunity to be a guest on your podcast.

00:11:21 Melissa: And that was all because, a shared connection, the guy named [Vinny] had put on his birthday on LinkedIn, this opportunity, you know, chime in and say what you need on LinkedIn. And when I saw that, I acted upon that. So that is part of the networking that I teach my [mom founder] clients. It is not like, let me talk to this person totally from nowhere and absolutely not say why I think they're like, so, so cool.

00:11:48 Melissa: So this is how I approached this guy from Experian. And the reason why I'm gonna share this story with you is because that person I have a podcast interview with in like the next half hour. And he pointed out my process in a way that I had not realized before. It was this. So again, the guy was [Vinny] that we both knew and my outbound email to this person, this podcast, included the following. We both know [Vinny] and know he is not my cousin. That was a joke, right?

00:12:21 Melissa: That is how I led the conversation with someone that works for an organization, who is not an entrepreneur, but with whom I would like to do business. How is it that I had the confidence to be myself in that initial interaction? Here is how. Having partnered with so many mom founders in the past, I know the sort of email spammy pitches we get on places like LinkedIn. I also know being a podcaster, how a lot of these like top notch head honcho people, our approach on different, you know, channels, right?

00:12:55 Melissa: So for example, when I interviewed Beth Comstock, the former CMO of GE, I know that the prior emails that she got on LinkedIn were super spammy and authentic. So I knew that I could cut through that noise and be myself. And as a mom, as someone who's so genuine in her at-home life, it is so hard and so much extra energy to play someone that you're not just because traditional networking would have you be someone that you're not. And I don't want that for you.

00:13:29 Melissa: So when it comes to forging a genuine connection and it comes to making networking work for you as a mom, really it's about bringing your personality and your enthusiasm, not just for what you sell, but for that person that you're reaching out to, and it's gotta be legit. Otherwise people smell b*llshit and you don't want to have that out there.

00:13:51 Melissa: Okay, so let me share with you a little bit about my method because I think it's gonna really help frame the entire context. So in my method, it is called the imagination to impact to income method. And so it's a step-by-step solution that is gonna help you create genuine relationships consistently and quickly for mom founders, just like you. And so when it comes to imagination, that is where your personality comes into play right? So you want to be yourself. How can you get to that place of pure authenticity?

00:14:26 Melissa: Well, sometimes when it comes to, like reawakening my imagination, which for a lot of us, it's a sleep because we've got a lot going on and we're distracted. For me, sometimes it's a moment of stillness. Sometimes it's just, you know, singing in my shower. Sometimes it is playing with my child and explaining to my child who I am, what I do in very, very simple terms, so the spark for me to think how I could introduce myself to then, create a genuine connection, it comes from a place of expansive thinking. And that is step one, as it relates to the networking that actually works for a mom founder, right?

00:15:05 Melissa: So for someone who's so passionate about her product or service, to then follow this like, totally like predictable, conventional way of introducing yourself and being super boring and not distinguishing yourself, it doesn't make sense. And it's not going to work, and it's why you won't do it consistently, because oftentimes you think to yourself, this doesn't feel right. This feels sleazy, but there's another way. And through my method and with my support, I can help you actually figure out how to use this new way of networking, which is about being authentic and being super intentional and thoughtful and planning it out based on the real you.

00:15:43 Melissa: Because again, as a mom founder, you are very specifically stretched, stretched beyond capacity oftentimes. The bandwidth that we have that we're operating with, is very limited, and if you have to pretend to be someone you are not, that is taking up your bandwidth and you don't have enough to go around. So you want to be sure that you optimize your approach, whether it is in networking, business development, going and pitching yourself to media. The same concept applies and I could help you throughout any of those scenarios.

00:16:15 Melissa: So let me share with you this other idea. So I love this. This is when, like there's like the mom difference in how to approach networking and make it not sleazy at all, like totally warm and fuzzy, but so effective and very profitable. So a client of mine was really, really thinking about this whole idea. Okay, I'm going to a conference. I really don't know, kind of, how to approach it. I feel a little insecure in terms of, like the outfits I'm wearing, I haven't gotten out in a bit and I am just like not knowing what to expect, this is the first time away from my family. So that was the scenario.

00:16:51 Melissa: And what we did was, I applied a multi-step process. So before you actually attend a conference, go to an event or talk to someone, there is certain research that needs to be done so that you don't waste your time, so that you can squeeze the juice out of that situation, right? And again, this is so tailored for a mom founder. You have limited energy and when you go somewhere, it needs to actually prove out an ROI for you. So you wanna be sure you do all this research upfront.

00:17:21 Melissa: Part of that, and this is such a sneak peek into my group coaching program. So Fertile Imagination to Networking Success is the group coaching program that I run. But what I do is I have my clients look at, like, the speaker list at an event or like the people that are going to be on panels. And also, you know, if there's an app for the event, look to see who's going to go there, but I have my clients pre-introduce themselves to the people that make sense, given the alignment with their goals or just your curiosity because you're human. There are some people that are really interesting and why not, like pre-introduce yourself.

00:18:02 Melissa: So she attends this event and I had not seen this because I had not attended events with my clients. But I saw that, like people wanted a hugger. People wanted a hugger. People felt like they already knew her. And you know what it did for the client? She used to be scared of attending these networking events. And I wanna just add some context here. She was a powerful attorney, so she was scared. What does that tell you? That tells you that when you are mission-driven, when your business is so personal to you, even if you have, like, the world's fanciest degree, or you might have, like, all the money in the world for whatever reason, like, some of these little insecurities, they pop up and they could hold you back.

00:18:45 Melissa: So imposter syndrome, it is real. Even if you have, like, a JD, LLM, MBA, whatever sort of alphabet you wanna put after your name. And so for her, she was getting hugs. Like how is that traditional networking? It's not, it's not. It's what I teach my mom founders through my group coaching program, and one-on-one coaching programs too. And I love it, I love it because if you feel like you're getting hugs from people, if you feel like you're yourself, you're going to make it a habit. You're gonna be more consistent because it's gonna feel more like, with ease.

00:19:18 Melissa: And I think that's a big difference because I know a lot of times you start networking. You're like, all right, I'm getting really good at it. I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. And then you stop. And why is it that you saw? Because it's taking extra energy, because it's outside of your comfort zone, because you have to now think of things that you never thought about before. I get it, and that's why I wanted to fix it for mom founders. You know why? Mom founders, the ones that I've helped and I supported, they have the most wonderful products and services. And oftentimes it comes out of a need that I'm in alignment with.

00:19:50 Melissa: For example, if you go and build out a TV show that is to help children eat more nutritiously, like I am all for you. Or if you go and you decide to do a nonprofit because you see that there's a challenge in the world, like I am so there. Like it's really interesting. The bar is high when it comes to a mom who decides to actually lay the foundation of a business, because it's time away from your kids. So oftentimes, the degree of fulfillment that you seek in terms of your business is super, super high.

00:20:24 Melissa: And in those cases, I want to help you because that means that you want to make an impact. That means that you're not just selling something that's a throwaway item, you're selling something that means something to you, means something to the person that's purchasing it or donating. And I want to be part of that. And so that's why I was like, you know what, I'm not seeing enough moms in these situations; and whether or not they're right for you or you can do it in this season of motherhood, there's always another way.

00:20:48 Melissa: The other day I was talking to a mom who is a bookkeeper and she has this wonderful agency and she's like so streamlined. And what I thought was really fascinating was, there was an event that was happening at a particular time. She's a single mom and she could not attend the event. And so that invited me to then tell her, well, is there another way that you could get in touch with those event organizers? Is there another way that you can get that information? There is another way.

00:21:14 Melissa: And again, that's where the imagination piece of my method comes into play. So what is that other way for you? And I gave her a, insight. If you wanna hear that insight, a little bit about that more later. Okay, so here's the whole thing. You're different. You're just different. You just are, you have all these obligations and you have a lot of things that are outside of your control. So what does that mean? That means that when you're gonna go and build a relationship, for you, it has to be a high value relationship.

00:21:42 Melissa: And let me explain exactly what that means. You know how a lot of businesses, they have the lifetime value of a customer, or you know, how they have, you know, this notion of like one person can keep shopping, you know, your products and services. Well, I have taken that concept and I've turned it around. And for me, it's really about the bond or the connection. So instead of the lifetime value of a customer, the lifetime value of a connection. And I think that is how a mom can make networking work for her. What does that mean?

00:22:13 Melissa: That means that when you are there and making a… forging a connection with a human being one time, the idea is that you're gonna stick around for a long time, right? So it's not just, like, transactional. Right now you're gonna help me and I'm gonna say, peace out, thank you for the help. That's not it at all. That is not how you're gonna optimize all that effort it takes to even like, find the right people and make the right connection and have the right conversations. Instead, you have to consider the long view, the long term, right? So how is it that you're going to increase the value of that bond?

00:22:47 Melissa: And that's what I call, this idea of having a relationship with someone when you start to network with them. What does that mean? So that means that, I want to be sure that partnering with me, being with me, hanging out with me is better for the two of us than us being apart, right? And so I say that in my group coaching program, Fertile Imagination to Networking Success. It's really about thinking to yourself, okay, so here we are, it's, you know, 2024, and I might not yet be like this, like, fancy schmancy entrepreneur. And I might not be able to reciprocate or pay you back for whatever favor or situation that we're in right now, but I've got the long-term view in our relationship.

00:23:27 Melissa: Again, it's about being genuine, not sleazy, not transactional, not one-time. And I have a sense that I'm going to be able to help you later on in time, and that should give you some confidence, right? A lot of times people are hesitant to reach out to people that are outside of their weight category, so to speak, in terms of networking, because you don't feel like you have enough to contribute right now. But if like a mom, you started thinking about every situation that you're in and relationship that you have in the long term, you will always be able to make it up in the long term. Let me share a case study with you.

00:24:00 Melissa: So this was early, maybe like 2013 or so. I put out a survey to my newsletter and I asked questions pertaining to entrepreneurship, very long time ago. And I got a survey result back that was like mind blowing. It was so detailed, so helpful that I had to get on the phone with the person who filled it out. Here's the best part. I think I was, yeah, this was like my kid, my first kid was a baby and I was not sleeping still. But I was like, you know what? I have to talk to this person. So I got on the phone, her name was Shadiah, and I wanted to just find out more about her. I didn't know her.

00:24:39 Melissa: And at the time she wasn't an entrepreneur, but she had the guts to reach out to me. She knew, she was like, you know what? I'm probably gonna stay in touch with Melissa, right? And I felt the same way about her. So when I was in San Francisco, I decided to see her in person. Again, this was after her filling out a survey, being super helpful, getting on the phone, and then me going to San Francisco. So, building upon the sincere, genuine relationship. And so I went, and Shadiah, just to kind of update that. So Shadiah, I met with her in San Francisco. And again, she was at that time launching HoneyBook, I believe, and you may have heard of it. And she was amazing, right?

00:25:18 Melissa: So I made the time to meet her in person, again, building that relationship, that bond. So slowly but slowly. She was speeding up in her entrepreneurial journey and I was slowing down at the time because I was then gonna have identical twins. And so it kind of felt like the roles were a little turned, right? So now she starts, like increasing her perceived value even though as humans we always come into this world with value, but from a business perspective right? The relationships that she had, the conversations that she was having, her success entrepreneurial. So it was changing.

00:25:48 Melissa: Then recently, I noticed that she now has a company called Kinside and she is on the ink list of top 100 most inspiring companies out there. And I know she's funded and there's some sort of valuations out there that are like over a billion dollars. So at this point, you know, I say this because, you know, Shadiah early on had the guts to reach out to me, right? We were in different situations at the time. Now she's a mom, and now we get to talk about mom stuff. And I also want to just say that your relationship, because again, if you're going to be taking networking and you're going to be flipping it around for yourself, and I can teach you how to do it, this relationship is going to be long term.

00:26:34 Melissa: And the sort of value that you might add up front might not be the same as what you can add later on. So don't cut yourself out of those opportunities. And also don't stop yourself because you don't think you have anything to contribute. So there are lots of ways that networking can be reframed for you, a mom founder.

00:26:53 Melissa: And I wanna invite you to the very next step, which I would welcome a conversation to get to know you. I wanna hear on a free 30 minute consultation, just go to MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. This is gonna be in the show notes, wherever you're listening, it's gonna be in the description on YouTube as well. I invite you to go ahead and apply for a free consultation. They're 30 minutes, they're exclusively for mom founders. And I want to hear what your networking plan is for the rest of this year.

00:27:24 Melissa: I want to know, like, how you're also embodying the real you when it comes to networking. I also want to know where there might be a little hesitation, right? So I feel like I could totally help you clear that out during that 30 minute session so that this way you could be a lot more enthusiastic about talking to strangers as you are about the product and service that you're bringing into the world.

00:27:48 Melissa: On this session, 30 minutes, complimentary, but there is that application. I also want to hear from you in terms of, you know, what do you struggle with, like specifically when it comes to putting yourself out there and networking? What relationship do you have with that word? Is it something that's really hard for you to do consistently? Have you been told maybe in the past that you shouldn't be, you know, that loud or you're a little too much, or you know, maybe you're some sort of undesirable characteristic that you're insecure about going out there, or if you're an introvert. If you're an introvert, we have got to talk.

00:28:26 Melissa: So go and head to the link, MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. If you're driving or running or moving around, just take notes when you have an opportunity. It'll be in the show notes, as I mentioned. And if you're on YouTube, you get to see my hat. I feel like I have, like a networking hat, which is a really fun tip. If you do go out there and network, have something that distinguishes you and is memorable, just like a visual cue. That's this hat I'm wearing, this beige hat. Some people that know me have seen me before with it.

00:28:57 Melissa: But for sure, I wanna have a conversation with you, a mom, founder, especially if you really think that networking is sleazy because it hasn't worked for you and you haven't been consistent with it because it doesn't feel authentic. The way that I can teach you to break free from that is through my method, the imagination impact income method. In that method, I also want to just leave you with this thought.

00:29:25 Melissa: I get that you might feel insecure about putting yourself out there with people that you don't have a warm intro to, or I get that you might think that, you know, being stopped by a gatekeeper is going to be part of your path. But with my method, I figured out a way around both. I also want to just leave you with this thought. The way that you feel is the way that you feel. I don't want you to feel wrong or bad about the way that you feel.

00:29:54 Melissa: So if you feel that traditional networking is sleazy and transactional, you're freaking right. Or if you feel that being an introvert is not advantageous for being, you know, a networker, then I actually wanna question you there because I know differently. I know that there's some superpowers that introverts have when it comes to networking that an ambivert like myself, and I could totally share that definition if we get on the 30 minute session, or an extrovert might not have.

00:30:23 Melissa: And so I am actually going to make that an episode on this podcast. So be sure that you follow me officially on whatever podcast platform you're listening to, this or subscribe here on YouTube. Either way you slice it, I want to hear from you. So go ahead, MelissaLlarena.com/sessions.

00:30:45 Melissa: Thank you. And until next Tuesday, be sure to share this, if this was of value. And you know what? It's a great excuse to reconnect with someone, maybe someone that you haven't spoken to in years, but who's going in the same direction as you are in terms of business. So I invite you to take this as your opportunity. So next step, let's hop on that free 30 minute consultation. Signing off, Melissa Llarena.

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