Artwork

Inhoud geleverd door Melissa Llarena. Alle podcastinhoud, inclusief afleveringen, afbeeldingen en podcastbeschrijvingen, wordt rechtstreeks geüpload en geleverd door Melissa Llarena of hun podcastplatformpartner. Als u denkt dat iemand uw auteursrechtelijk beschermde werk zonder uw toestemming gebruikt, kunt u het hier beschreven proces https://nl.player.fm/legal volgen.
Player FM - Podcast-app
Ga offline met de app Player FM !

243: Building a Venture-Backed or Lifestyle Business: Mom Founders Share Burnout-Free Strategies

38:52
 
Delen
 

Manage episode 433952985 series 1913307
Inhoud geleverd door Melissa Llarena. Alle podcastinhoud, inclusief afleveringen, afbeeldingen en podcastbeschrijvingen, wordt rechtstreeks geüpload en geleverd door Melissa Llarena of hun podcastplatformpartner. Als u denkt dat iemand uw auteursrechtelijk beschermde werk zonder uw toestemming gebruikt, kunt u het hier beschreven proces https://nl.player.fm/legal volgen.

Feeling stretched thin as a mom and entrepreneur? Let's talk about burnout and how to beat it! For me, finding that sweet spot between work and family fun is a game-changer. Imagine shooting hoops with your kids or diving into books you all enjoy—it's all about blending joy and quality time.

Next up, we're super excited to have Liz Tenety join us! She’s the brilliant co-founder of Motherly and the mastermind behind Founding Women. As a mom of five, Liz knows all about balancing the chaos of a big family with the grind of running a venture-backed startup. She’s here to drop some major wisdom on managing your energy, why it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being before chasing profits, and how to get creative with childcare and household support.

Liz is all about a holistic approach to avoid burnout. She cautions that focusing solely on work and parenting can lead to neglecting friendships and personal wellness. Her advice? Blend work and home life seamlessly, involve the kids in chores, and don’t hesitate to get help when needed.

We’ll also explore how to balance life and business, with Liz sharing tips on building a support team, from hiring a virtual assistant to arranging childcare swaps with other entrepreneur moms. Ready to learn from the best? Let’s dive in!

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Actionable insights on managing energy and aligning family and business needs.

  • Methods to keep burnout at bay, including investing in well being and child care before turning a profit.

  • Creative ways to blend personal interests with parenting through enjoyable activities.

  • Exploration of energy management techniques and the balance between narrow focus and holistic well being.

  • Hiring resources early and fostering a collaborative family environment to reduce personal burnout.

  • Liz’s experience in creating supportive communities for female founders and translating business skills into effective motherhood.

  • Identifying and managing daily parenting tasks and logistical challenges to prevent burnout.

  • Ideas for reimagining work-life balance and parenting to create a sustainable and fulfilling life.

  • Encouragement to build a support network and invest in well being for a successful business and family life.

This episode is brought to you by a LIVE free masterclass How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy. Back to school for moms? Join me on September 23, 2024 or September 24, 2024! Add your name to my newsletter HERE: https://fertileideas.com/ - this will do two things: you'll instantly receive my free networking playbook and be the first to know when the doors to my masterclass officially open!

Be the first to hear when the DOORS officially open to this FREE masterclass for mom founders. As when they do, you’ll get a workbook upon signing up so you can start to warm up your profitable relationship building skills before you need them and for showing up LIVE you’ll get my very own plug-and-play 30-day networking planner! How’s that for a gift?

More about this LIVE free masterclass: How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy.

You want to build profitable relationships without draining your energy for family and business. Imagine if family time and business could fuel each other rather than deplete you. Maybe you’ve been filling your cup instead of depleting it?

I faced the same challenge. I learned to balance being a great business owner and mom while building profitable relationships in my 13-year career. I can help you make this a reality.

Hi, I’m Melissa Llarena, bestselling author, podcaster, mom of three boys (including twins), and CEO of a coaching business in Austin, TX. I started my business with my firstborn at six months and, later with twins, struggled with distractions.

I discovered that while some founders might reach goals faster, I didn’t need to sacrifice my vision. I focused on building profitable relationships, a more consistent path to income than ads or social media algorithms. This approach expanded my reach, boosted my message, and increased my credibility. Plus, my method saves time by skipping gatekeepers, eliminating the need for warm intros or happy hours. This is what sets my method apart.

I created a repeatable networking strategy for moms using my "Imagination to Impact to Income Method™." This strategy transformed how I manage time and energy and will be the focus of my LIVE masterclass entitled How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy.

My mission is to help moms creatively build their business while embracing motherhood. Profitable relationships align with both your business and family goals. I’ll show you how in the masterclass to close the year strong.

Attend LIVE and get a 30-day Profitable Networking Planner™! No more guessing how to connect with the right people.

By the end of the class, you’ll learn to:

- Reimagine your company vision to energize you.

- Find a clear relationship-building focus for your business’s potential.

- Overcome impostor syndrome to become unstoppable.

Learn a proven plan to turn contacts into connections, even if you’re an introvert. It helped me land GaryVee on my podcast, write books, and secure major sales, including a collaboration with the world’s first IVF baby. I’ll share this in the masterclass.

Ready to add this to your calendar! Sign-up to be the first to know when the doors OPEN for this LIVE free masterclass! https://www.melissallarena.com/masterclass/

Let’s turn ON your superpower LIVE!

-Melissa Llarena

About Liz Tenety

Liz Tenety is a dynamic founder, digital entrepreneur, and transformation coach dedicated to empowering ambitious women. As the co-founder of Founding Women, she supports female founders through expert-led small groups and accelerators. Liz previously served as the Chief Digital Officer and co-founder of Motherly, where she played a key role in growing the venture-backed startup to 30 million monthly users and significant revenue. With nearly 20 years in media and startups—including a decade at The Washington Post—Liz now leads Growth Mode, her growth consulting firm, and coaches at Blue Engine Collaborative and Georgetown University. Her passion lies in using design thinking, storytelling, and data to uplift women and mothers in business.

Quotes, that can change your perspective:

"Not having friends is actually a recipe for me for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play." - Liz Tenety

"I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids." - Liz Tenety

"I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not up front hiring resources before I make one dollar. Any other mom found a better way?." - Melissa Llarena

"I feel your pain, and it's not easy to make these numbers work." - Liz Tenety

"No great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learn better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company" - Liz Tenety

"You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy." - Melissa Llarena

SHARE this episode with anyone who’s juggling the demands of motherhood and entrepreneurship! Whether you’re seeking tips on avoiding burnout, balancing work and family, or building a support network, Liz Tenety’s insights are gold. Let’s spread the wisdom and help each other thrive—don’t miss out!

Supporting Resources:

Website: https://foundingwomen.co

Instagram: @liztenety

Subscribe and Review

Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators? I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet.

I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

About Fertile Imagination – www.fertileideas.com

You can be a great mom without giving up, shrinking, or hiding your dreams. There’s flexibility in how you pursue anything – your role, your lifestyle, and your personal and professional goals. The limitations on your dreams are waiting to be shattered. It’s time to see and seize what’s beyond your gaze. Let’s bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Imagine skipping with your kids along any path – you, surpassing your milestones while your kids are reaching theirs. There’s only one superpower versatile enough to stretch your thinking beyond what’s been done before: a Fertile Imagination. It’s like kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when it’s alert!

In Fertile Imagination, you will awaken your sleeping source of creative solutions. If you can wake up a toddler or a groggy middle schooler, then together with the stories in this book – featuring 25 guests from my podcast Unimaginable Wellness, proven tools, and personal anecdotes – we will wake up your former playmate: your imagination!

Advance Praise

“You’ll find reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life in this book!” —MARTHA HENNESSEY, former NH State Senator

“Melissa invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom (and dad too) truly happy to work on...even after the kids are in bed.”

—KEN HONDA, best-selling author of Happy Money

“This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours.” —MAUREEN TURNER CAREY, librarian in Austin, TX

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Liz: I try to set up opportunities for play with my kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that. And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, the little books with Paw Patrol. Like aesthetically, like it offends me. So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid.

00:00:33 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business. Find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm going to give you the mindset, methods, and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.

00:01:25 Melissa: Welcome, beautiful mom founder. So in today's episode, we're gonna go through burnout. Is there a way to avoid it? Is there a way to keep it at bay through energy management solutions that work for you and your family? Also, we're gonna go through building a business and how that might actually make you a more empowered mom who can design a family life that is almost like run like a business with heart, of course. We're also gonna go through investing in your wellbeing and why you might want to pay for the child care, pay for the VAs before you turn a profit. So the conversation today is something that I personally really needed. Today's guest is none other than the co-founder behind Motherly, current founder of Founding Women, a career community supporting female founders through expert led small groups and accelerators. The name of today's guest is Liz Tenety.

00:02:21 Melissa: I am thrilled to have her perspective. She's a mom of five and she knows what it takes in order to run a venture backed startup. She also knows what it takes in terms of the requirements that having a big family have on our energy levels and sources. So enjoy the conversation. Definitely. Let me know what you think in terms of the possibilities for you to almost piece together your own childcare solutions, piece together your own resources so that you can have that opportunity to invest in your wellbeing upfront, so that you can actually launch your business, build your business, scale your business, and make whatever vision you have for your business turn into a reality that you are better off for, you and your family. That's what it's about here. So enjoy the conversation.

00:03:17 Melissa: This episode is brought to you by a masterclass I want to formally and cordially invite you to on September 23rd. We're gonna go through a focused 30 day networking strategy that is gonna help you end the year strong. It is about having a company vision that energizes you. It is about, and we're gonna go through how to focus, where to apply your finite focus as a mom, and also how to actually navigate feeling like an imposter at times so that you get billed and really enhance the profitable relationships that are going to take your business to the next level. This is happening on September 23rd. I know, I know, right now we are just getting our kids back to school and that might not be on your top of mind list, but I want to just give you some of the details that we're going to run through. And I want to invite you to sign up today for my newsletter so that you're the very first to hear of when I opened the doors for this masterclass that will be live for one hour on September 23rd, which is a Monday. So just go to fertileideas.com. Go ahead and grab my free networking playbook while you're at it, and that will instantly put you on the list. So on September 23rd, here's what you're in for.

00:04:45 Melissa: You are going to 100% have a really good idea on how to make your company vision, which a lot of you might call your origin story or that description on your website that describes what you do, who you are and why, and have it work for you. Have it energize you, have it feel more aligned and have it almost like contribute to that pep in your step. The second thing we're going to do is we're going to narrow your focus. And here's what I mean by that. It is not about, you know, not, it's not about being in monk mode. It's not about going to a retreat in some cottage in Canada. No, it is about understanding what you need to accomplish to make the end of this year, 2024, align with what you had originally intended this year to look like in terms of your revenue, in terms of your business, in terms of whatever creative endeavor you have out there. And the third point, which I mentioned a little earlier is, you know, on a path to building a business, there are moments where you might start second guessing yourself. You might encounter self doubt that mental chatter that I don't know if I'm ready might pop up. I want you to have a proactive plan this year so that the end of the year, you don't have regrets. I wish I would have, I wish I would have pressed send. I wish I would have published my book. I wish I would have, you know, launched my podcast, I wish I would have asked for, you know, bigger donation dollars for my nonprofit. I don't want you to have that on your heart.

00:06:11 Melissa: I want you to be totally prepared and ready for a strong end to 2024. So quick, quick, quick to do go to fertileideas.com. That'll be in the show notes and sign up. Get the playbook while you're at it. I have a networking playbook that also helps you start to build profitable relationships and it is so useful whether you are an introvert or an extrovert or somewhere in between There's such a thing as an ambivert. So go ahead to fertile ideas comm get the playbook. Here's the thing I'm gonna be pricing it about $14.99 so you could totally wait and get it later, but today right now it is free for mom founders to go to fertileideas.com, that is how you get in my email newsletter and that is also how you have first persons access to the details around this masterclass that will be live will be on September 23rd and will be all for mom founders who want to end the year strong.

00:07:09 Melissa: So go ahead right now. I'll give you a second hit pause and sign up for the playbook. So you get on the newsletter and you're the first to know about this masterclass is going to change the way you end 2024. I look forward to seeing you there and enjoy the conversation with Liz Tennedy. I'm so excited that she joined me on The Mom Founder Imagination Hub. So Liz, I am so excited to have you here on the mom found her imagination hub. I love that you're putting on chapstick. That is so mom of you in the morning. How are you?

00:07:41 Liz: I'm great. I slept well last night and kids are healthy. The babysitter's here. We're nearing the end of summer break. So I'm feeling hopeful about the future, even the next couple of weeks.

00:07:56 Melissa: Yeah, I think they call it summer break, but I feel like we end up kind of breaking, if we don't have everything like structured out and our resources in place. And so I get it. I get it. But here's here's something that I would love to speak with you about in great depth, right? For as long as we have the time. Burnout. Let's let's like dive deeply into burnout. I mean, in terms of your experiences and now with what you're doing with Founding Women, I know that it's top of mind. I know that it's part of, you know, wellness as a solution, but here's kind of my thought on burnout and I wanna hear what you think. So I feel like having a narrow focus is one way to kind of proactively address burnout or not get to that place. But then I also think, so I have lots of thoughts, but I'll just share my second and I'll stop there. I also think that we have different points at which we reach burnout. So I might reach burnout after X hours of work sitting down at my computer, whereas someone else might have a different burnout point. So here's the question I asked myself legit. How can I work really hard and long right before my burnout point so I don't get to that place where it's hard to get back?

00:09:22 Liz: I mean, it's such a huge, huge topic. I think something I always personally love to do is to zoom way out. And by that, I don't just mean for my own life. I actually mean like on the horizon of time and human history, how are humans doing work and life in other cultures, in other times, like a hundred years ago, 10,000 years ago? Because my own like little life hypothesis is that we're living in unbelievably unprecedented times, particularly for mothers in the West who, you know, live these nuclear family lives. They have less sort of social support than ever, right? And we also have in its place no structural support, no political support, no corporate culture support for motherhood to kind of put my own struggles and the struggles of other parents, but especially moms that I encounter like in this context of, sure, by a lot of measures, we have things better than in human history.

00:10:36 Liz: But if you look at other groups of measures like social support, belonging, meaning, I think we're actually really struggling. And so just knowing that helps me not feel so alone and feel like the struggle is real, like it's not just all up in my head. So that helps. And I'm always zooming out for my own problems and the daily struggles, because it really helps to put things in perspective for me. You mentioned narrow focus, which I find really interesting. And I don't know that I have like one answer. And frankly, I think any productivity guru who's giving you one answer or one framework is lying to you in different seasons of life. And I think that's particularly true for women and those who bear children that there's literally seasons that happen in your body and we need to respect them, but there's also seasons throughout the year. Capitalism acts like everything is always upward on the trajectory and it's not. We do need those seasons of rest and recovery that are just natural to being a human, especially being a woman, especially being a mother. So pushing back on that idea that it's always, you know, upwards. Anyway, get back to narrow focus. When I heard you talk about narrow focus, it reminded me of Greg McEwen's book, Essentialism, which I read, let's see, six years ago, and I found it so helpful, and I found it like such a relief.

00:12:10 Liz: I was running my startup at the time or venture back startup, we were in total growth mode. I mean, it was so intense every single day. I read it on vacation that I took. And one of the one of the anecdotes in that book is about a large family. I think I think it was a stay at home mom and like a traditional working, you know, in the office dad. I remember that they had six kids. And the story was that that couple had decided that for that season of life, they did not need to focus on their friendships, their social lives, okay? And they went really narrow. It's about raising the kids and running this household. Again, I get that. And that was so logical. So I kind of bought it into this idea of narrow focus, right? The only thing I told myself at that time that I had capacity for, the only things were taking care of my kids and running my startup. And I bought in on that. And what happened was I burned out. And I realized why.

00:13:12 Liz: And actually, Greg McEwen has written a follow-up book called Effortless, like critiquing his own framework here because then I realized, you know, in the pandemic and in the years that followed, as I approached 40, not having friends is actually a recipe for me, for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play. That I got so narrow that I didn't even allow myself to do things that were actually holistically good for me as a human being. So, and yeah, I'm attracted to the idea of like going narrow and not and letting certain things fall by the wayside. I do think depending on your season of life though, really looking holistically at like, what do I, what do I actually need to be refueled for this journey?

00:14:03 Liz: And kind of doing that 360 view of it is really critical. And I think for me, being too narrow and saying, oh, I don't have time for friends. I don't have time to work out. I don't have time for wellness. I'll prioritize that in a different season. That's actually ironically the thing that led me to burnout and then decide like, okay, I need a hard break with what, you know, the life that I've been living in a big reset, which is what I did about three years ago.

00:14:29 Melissa: Yeah. And it's interesting because when I talk about focus, what I mean is focusing on what gives you energy. And it doesn't necessarily mean taking everything off your plate. You might actually want to add things to your plate that energize you, like in your case, friendships, right? Or playing with your child, you know, playing pretend and things like that. That magical moment and experience can make you more excited when you're out there marketing, you know, your solution. And so I totally get what you're saying. I think our focus for what helps us avoid burnout.

00:15:11 Melissa: It's different. It's different from me. It's different for you, you know, like maybe, maybe I have social anxiety. I know some clients of mine, they suffer with that. And so the thought of them like going out in the world and such is draining on them, you know, but like virtual coffee chats as an example, might be really uplifting and helpful. So I think your point is perfect. Absolutely perfect. So let me ask you this question, because I feel like it's like the elephant in the room, right? For a lot of moms that found a business. So you mentioned two big, big, big things that were going on in terms of mothering your children, of which you have five, right? You have five. And running a business. So those two things, like I feel like the other side of it is, okay, how do you prevent burnout? I think we also have to be honest about the things in our lives that contribute to burnout that are not just you know, pitching clients or getting investors, but also untangling fights between siblings or schlepping someone from point A to point B and you know, there being traffic. And I don't have a spreadsheet that says, here are all the things that I think about that drain me from a family perspective, but I do have a list of to-dos from a business perspective.

00:16:34 Melissa: So looking at both sides, would you say that you have found in talking to founding women and learning about moms, through motherly and other means, have you found that maybe we're not being honest enough with the things that are really on our list? There are some invisible things that are not on our list that drain us.

00:16:54 Liz: I love that. Yeah, that makes so much sense. I love your framework around energy management and I think it's sort of surging as a concept and people are growing in their awareness of this idea of focusing on what you have energy for and the sources of energy drain so that you can be in that zone of genius more frequently. And also, you know, you mentioned playing with your kids. I got some great advice a decade ago from a friend and I've tried to practice it, which is that I try to set up opportunities for play for kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that.

00:17:36 Liz: And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, you know, the little books with like Paw Patrol, like aesthetically, like it offends me, you know? So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read, choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid.

00:18:00 Liz: So even in parenting, looking, taking inventory of how do I use that, even in the car. I want to put music on that I'm going to enjoy, that I'm going to get energy from. And, you know, they're kind of whining in the background because, like, they don't like my weird music. Like, I'm fine with that. I, you know, I am the driver. I am the parent. I'm going to decide that, you know, we're listening to music that I enjoy. You know, you also are reminding me of. Something that I talk to my husband about all the time, which is that we're trying to build a life for ourselves and an integrated work and life work business family that we haven't quite seen modeled in our you know, micro communities.

00:18:44 Liz: You know, we've seen it kind of out there vaguely with like influencers who kind of live that more integrated family lifestyle. And by that I mean like family businesses or having a unique work family blend or being digital nomads and that kind of thing, which we're not, but I find that general concept interesting. And that is this, that if we want to live a little bit more intentionally, a little bit more unconventionally, we are going to have to find solutions for our family that we haven't seen modeled. And so something I love about your work is just your appreciation for creative genius and outside of the box solutions.

00:19:30 Liz: But to get very specific, I realized a few years ago that I was hiring babysitters at nights or on the weekends so that I could catch up on housework or paperwork, you know, all the like logistics. So I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra money. funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids. And similarly, I recently hired a VA, a virtual assistant, right? So it's 600 bucks a month. I don't pay my bills anymore. They get paid, but my VA pays the bills, plans activities, buys tickets and airfare for trips.

00:20:18 Liz: Anything that's like weighing on me, even something this week I asked her to do was make sure the kids were signed up for the right bus for their school, all of that long, long, long, long list. I think of it like building scaffolding around our family where there's that long family list and I'm able to get support in things that aren't bringing me energy and that are taking away from my capacity to be focused on my kids at that time or on my work. The last part of where we are as a family with this I have to give my husband a lot of credit. We're working really hard in this season of life to get our kids much more actively involved in like solving the problems or the work of the family.

00:21:05 Liz: So having a heavier chore list for them, having them make sure they're doing their own laundry, having very clear assignments. In fact, last night my daughter was working on the meal plan and adding the ingredients to our grocery card on my phone. And so we think of it like a team. And when we think of our family as a team and as your kids get older, I'm finding it helpful and instructive and good for them to be more involved in making this team like function as a group. So those are some of the creative ways that I found to over time make this all work in a way that decreases my personal burnout.

00:21:49 Melissa: That makes sense, a lot of sense. I mean, I've definitely had someone that was talking about fair play and just, you know, making sure that everybody picks up different responsibilities and the mom, for the most part, doesn't feel so like, you know, out of control. So I totally hear what you're saying. I have to ask this question. It's something that is really pressing on my mind because a lot of the clients that I've supported.

00:22:14 Melissa: It's almost like they wait until a certain magic number from a revenue perspective or a certain magic age of their kids to start hiring any resources. Yeah. Right. So I heard and this could be totally fictional, but I heard one mom say, oh, I had a coach that said, you know, before, like, make $100,000 in your business and then hire a VA, for example. And so she split it in half. She said, how about $50,000 and then I hire a VA. Here's the chicken and egg question. It's like, as a mom, to be very brutally honest, I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not upfront hiring resources before I make $1. Like help me untangle this.

00:23:11 Liz: I couldn't agree more and I don't presume to speak for other people's budgets and you know people have a wide variety of needs and things that they're paying for. I will say that you know as we've become parents, we were 27 when we became parents, we're about to turn 40 this year. So we make significantly more money today than we did you know when we were 27 and we had our first child and the vast majority of that income, the extra income that we made has been reinvested in quality childcare that makes our lives easier as parents in some housekeeping support. We have less now than we've had in the past because our kids are more capable.

00:23:53 Liz: But when I was working at the start or running my startup full-time, you know, I was not doing any housework. That was like a weekly job and or someone was coming in to do the laundry. We have looked at like school budgets, right? Like our kids haven't necessarily gone to the preschool that we really wanted them to go to because literally my husband showed me if you choose this preschool, we choose this preschool, like we can't have housekeeping support. So we chose like the more affordable option so that we could put that money back into having a housekeeper and help us with the laundry and the maintenance of our home.

00:24:34 Liz: So, and we don't take many vacations, if any, will go travel to visit our families. We've even started driving 10 hour trips, 12 hour trips to go visit family to cut down on the cost of our vacations because I truly believe that early investment in my wellbeing is the thing that's gonna allow me to build my next business and kind of align my professional life with the integrated family life that I really want.

00:25:03 Liz: That being said, like it's so, so hard out there for working moms. We lack affordable childcare. We lack maternity leave policies. So I have nothing but empathy and I want people to know that if they are just truly looking at their budgets and saying like, I can't make this work, it's not your fault. You know, we, we have to pay, is it in some cities, you know, twice the cost of housing for our childcare. And there's no other country on earth that asks this of families.

00:25:34 Liz: So, you know, I feel your pain and it's not easy to make these numbers work. That being said, reinvesting yourself is absolutely the best thing that you can do and, you know, do it flexibly. I've had certain VA services that didn't work out and I no longer work with them. The one that I'm using now is phenomenal and I'm recommending them to others. But there's a book called Design Your Life, which is out of the Stanford D school and this whole idea of using prototypes, right? Lightweight prototypes to find solutions is one that I think my husband and I have tried and applied. And we keep trying different solutions to make this work in our various stages of life.

00:26:15 Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I, it's so interesting because I think so much great thinking comes out of these world-class institutions, right? I know you're at Georgetown and for me, I have relationships with Tuck but what I will say the one really big missing piece of the puzzle is okay. So that's nice if you wanna work in a big corporate environment, go up the ranks, et cetera, or have a startup, I'm thinking about Stanford, right? With its entrepreneurial leanings. But then what happens when you've had no sleep? Or what happens when you have one child and then you have five, you know, there's all these changes that are not just logical spreadsheet solutions, but they're emotional conversations that a lot of founding moms have in our heads that take up our finite energy.

00:27:04 Melissa: Okay, so here's something else that I was super curious to hear your thoughts on. So asking for help and just, you know, resources. I was having this like conversation with a mom, you know, over me with the margarita, her with the tea, and she said, you know, I've met all these like moms that have these fabulous businesses and they have legions of support, legions. And that's not what I heard you say right now. I heard that it's quite the adjustable team building setup. Say more on maybe the first step. Like how can somebody just incrementally build a team so that they don't have to like go all out and think, oh, it's all or nothing. But you know, there's this one resource and second and third.

00:27:51 Liz: So I guess over the decade of that, I've been a mom and an entrepreneur, I've learned how to think really creatively about time. And you know, all like working moms know that all of a sudden we can get a whole day's worth of work done in just a few hours. And that kind of may have seemed impossible before motherhood, but we just get this incredible focus. So I have been there. I mean, when I was a first, when I was a new working mom, I could not afford full time childcare. So I had four hours in the morning, I had lunch with my son, and then I worked as hard as I could during his two hour nap, right. So I kind of got to seven hours of work, working that way, just working around nap time.

00:28:36 Liz: I also have joined gyms where there's two hours of childcare and a little cafe that you can sit in. And so for like 200 bucks a month, you get two hours of childcare a day, whether or not you work out, which is a pretty great deal. You know, YMCAs have free childcare and are really affordable in a lot of communities. So I would think, you know, I would not bat an eye at doing that. I've also heard of entrepreneur moms setting up childcare swaps with other entrepreneurs. So one mom takes the kids one day, another mom, the next.

00:29:13 Liz: I also just, you know, encourage people to think about what they really need help with. Cause sometimes I think, do I really need more childcare and to spend a thousand dollars next week on full-time childcare or do I need to assign this project? To my VA or hire someone on Upwork to get this job done, right? I also think looking at the weekends, which I can often get taken over by kid activities, but my husband and I are working hard now to make sure that we each have designated time on the weekends to ourselves so that we can recover a little bit from the week and be able to be more intentional with, with our kids. So I guess not that I have an easy answer, but trying to think really creatively about your team, your time, where to find really dedicated pockets of time.

00:30:06 Liz: Lastly, I work from home. I've worked full-time from home for 12 years since becoming a mom. But this afternoon, I'm going to a cafe because talk about the space-time continuum. I can somehow be so much more creative and productive and I can put my headphones on and get a latte and sit down and crank workout in a cafe environment. Like that energy is really good for me creatively. And so again, it's like, it is about energy, it is about time, it is about money and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.

00:30:41 Liz: Also, ChatGPT is blowing my mind every single day. And so when I have like thorny questions of how do I solve this weird problem that I've never even talked to someone about? ChatGPT is surprising me with what it's able to suggest. So even AI tools and things like that are able to kind of introduce serendipity into our lives when we realize that, you know, no great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learned better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company and seeing no one can, I can't scale a startup by myself. I need talent to be in their zone of genius and we need to work together on a shared mission. And that over time is how I've tried to operate our family more and more intentionally, learning from running my company.

00:31:32 Melissa: I love that. That's the opposite direction or the other direction that Zibby Owens suggested. So Zibby Owens was on Mom Founders Imagination Hub. And she was saying how being a stay at home mom has helped her build out her business and the Zibby verse. Right. So that's like one direction. And then now you are sharing how it helps in the opposite direction too. Right. So founding the business, building the business, being a mom. And I feel like I'm kind of in between because I literally launched my business with my firstborn on my chest. Like I went to that first sales meeting with my baby in my Ergo baby. And he had a diaper blowout and I closed the sale. But Manhattan is all the better for that experience.

00:32:25 Melissa: [unclear] I love this. I love this. And you know what? You have a fertile imagination to say the least. And I think that is, it's huge. It's one worthy that anyone listening should totally check you out. Totally check out Founding Women, go to the website. And just use that expansive thinking to figure out the best solution for yourself, because your energy needs might be different than Liz's energy needs and my own. And so we need to each do our due diligence to see what works best for us and our family. So thank you so much, Liz. And so I appreciate you so much, Liz, for this conversation. And I would love to just hear more about where listeners can... follow you and learn more about what you're building for us.

00:33:15 Liz: Sure, well, thank you for that. My husband went to Stanford Business School and I did not attend but I did start motherly while he was in business school. And I'm on a list serve with all these women who are moms coming out of Stanford GSB, right? So high powered business women and they're about seven years post MBA right now, seven to ten years post MBA. And all of these high powered women are wrestling with this exact thing. So it's just really interesting to have like a sneak peek into that.

00:33:44 Liz: I am building a new support community for female founders. It is the community that I did not have. I think, you know, there's awesome career communities out there for ambitious women. Chief is, you know, the big famous one among them. But in my experience, founders, entrepreneurs are... much more motivated by this idea of freedom, of building an asset, of controlling your schedule. And the challenges that we face are quite different as female founders trying to build in that way. So people can go to foundingwomen.co. You can also look me up on LinkedIn, where I share more information about our community and also just supportive resources for female founders. So my name is Liz Tenety, T-E-N-E-T-Y. I'm hoping eventually to launch my own personal Instagram.

00:34:34 Liz: But I'm also the co-founder of Motherly. So if you are a mom and kind of in the midst of intense, you know, motherhood seasons, we provide expert support and resources on Instagram and our website, and you can find us at @mother.ly.

00:34:49 Melissa: Here are the three things that you will want to really think through pertaining to how to make your life better, how to feel more energized, more enthusiastic about what's ahead. Point number one, investing in your wellbeing before you turn a profit, understanding that everyone's budget is going to be different, and also understanding that you might feel uncertain in terms of what is coming up in the markets, et cetera. It is still a choice that you can make if you already are using some dollars for other sort of components of your childcare experience, right?

00:35:24 Melissa: So what I loved about Liz was that she didn't necessarily come up with some extra magic money. She instead with her husband made a decision. Either the kids go to childcare or go to a preschool that is higher priced, or we figure out a more affordable solution for their childcare or for their preschool and use the remainder or what's leftover or the extra for whatever it might be, cleaning the house. And so that is very inventive in the sense that it's not so much like asking for more, but doing different with the dollars that you intended to spend anyways.

00:36:03 Melissa: Second point, and again, this is before turning a profit if that is available to you. It is an investment. It's a different way of seeing things. The second point that I think is really worth thinking through for yourself is that burnout is not necessarily about being in monk mode, going to a retreat and being secluded from family and friends. You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy. And if that is important to you, it is important for you to include that in terms of your, you know, avoid burnout plan.

00:36:43 Melissa: Here's the third point in terms of building a business. Zibby Owens actually in another podcast, which I will link in the show notes. She said that she learned how to build her business and be a team leader from being a stay at home mom. Here, Liz provides the opposite. She shares how building her business, so co-founding Motherly and now founding Women, is helping her really navigate motherhood and build a lifestyle and family life experience that is quote unquote sustainable and I don't know, maybe scalable if that's the right word in that instance. Either way, I would encourage you to really reimagine how you approach your life experience and how you intend to build up or scale your business given this conversation with Liz.

00:37:34 Melissa: I think there was a lot here that can be shared with other moms. I think anyone that is starting or thinking about launching a business needs to hear this conversation. So go ahead and share this episode with them today. You could share it either on iTunes or right here. Be sure that if you do share it on YouTube, which I would love, be sure that you share it with them and you just give them a heads up that they're about to change their perspective on whether or not it's possible to avoid burnout with few or limited resources. I think this conversation offered enough food for thought.

00:38:12 Melissa: So thank you so much. And until next Tuesday, did you subscribe? Did you actually hit the notification bell on YouTube? And if you're listening on iTunes or anywhere else this podcast is heard, did you hit follow? You just have the tiny little things that make a really big difference and encourage me to continue to pump content out like this for other moms. Moms who we have to use our imagination in order to carve a path that we may have never seen laid out for us before. Thank you so much.

  continue reading

257 afleveringen

Artwork
iconDelen
 
Manage episode 433952985 series 1913307
Inhoud geleverd door Melissa Llarena. Alle podcastinhoud, inclusief afleveringen, afbeeldingen en podcastbeschrijvingen, wordt rechtstreeks geüpload en geleverd door Melissa Llarena of hun podcastplatformpartner. Als u denkt dat iemand uw auteursrechtelijk beschermde werk zonder uw toestemming gebruikt, kunt u het hier beschreven proces https://nl.player.fm/legal volgen.

Feeling stretched thin as a mom and entrepreneur? Let's talk about burnout and how to beat it! For me, finding that sweet spot between work and family fun is a game-changer. Imagine shooting hoops with your kids or diving into books you all enjoy—it's all about blending joy and quality time.

Next up, we're super excited to have Liz Tenety join us! She’s the brilliant co-founder of Motherly and the mastermind behind Founding Women. As a mom of five, Liz knows all about balancing the chaos of a big family with the grind of running a venture-backed startup. She’s here to drop some major wisdom on managing your energy, why it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being before chasing profits, and how to get creative with childcare and household support.

Liz is all about a holistic approach to avoid burnout. She cautions that focusing solely on work and parenting can lead to neglecting friendships and personal wellness. Her advice? Blend work and home life seamlessly, involve the kids in chores, and don’t hesitate to get help when needed.

We’ll also explore how to balance life and business, with Liz sharing tips on building a support team, from hiring a virtual assistant to arranging childcare swaps with other entrepreneur moms. Ready to learn from the best? Let’s dive in!

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Actionable insights on managing energy and aligning family and business needs.

  • Methods to keep burnout at bay, including investing in well being and child care before turning a profit.

  • Creative ways to blend personal interests with parenting through enjoyable activities.

  • Exploration of energy management techniques and the balance between narrow focus and holistic well being.

  • Hiring resources early and fostering a collaborative family environment to reduce personal burnout.

  • Liz’s experience in creating supportive communities for female founders and translating business skills into effective motherhood.

  • Identifying and managing daily parenting tasks and logistical challenges to prevent burnout.

  • Ideas for reimagining work-life balance and parenting to create a sustainable and fulfilling life.

  • Encouragement to build a support network and invest in well being for a successful business and family life.

This episode is brought to you by a LIVE free masterclass How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy. Back to school for moms? Join me on September 23, 2024 or September 24, 2024! Add your name to my newsletter HERE: https://fertileideas.com/ - this will do two things: you'll instantly receive my free networking playbook and be the first to know when the doors to my masterclass officially open!

Be the first to hear when the DOORS officially open to this FREE masterclass for mom founders. As when they do, you’ll get a workbook upon signing up so you can start to warm up your profitable relationship building skills before you need them and for showing up LIVE you’ll get my very own plug-and-play 30-day networking planner! How’s that for a gift?

More about this LIVE free masterclass: How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy.

You want to build profitable relationships without draining your energy for family and business. Imagine if family time and business could fuel each other rather than deplete you. Maybe you’ve been filling your cup instead of depleting it?

I faced the same challenge. I learned to balance being a great business owner and mom while building profitable relationships in my 13-year career. I can help you make this a reality.

Hi, I’m Melissa Llarena, bestselling author, podcaster, mom of three boys (including twins), and CEO of a coaching business in Austin, TX. I started my business with my firstborn at six months and, later with twins, struggled with distractions.

I discovered that while some founders might reach goals faster, I didn’t need to sacrifice my vision. I focused on building profitable relationships, a more consistent path to income than ads or social media algorithms. This approach expanded my reach, boosted my message, and increased my credibility. Plus, my method saves time by skipping gatekeepers, eliminating the need for warm intros or happy hours. This is what sets my method apart.

I created a repeatable networking strategy for moms using my "Imagination to Impact to Income Method™." This strategy transformed how I manage time and energy and will be the focus of my LIVE masterclass entitled How to Craft a Focused Year-End Networking Strategy to Build Profitable Relationships in 30 Days Without Draining Your Mom Energy.

My mission is to help moms creatively build their business while embracing motherhood. Profitable relationships align with both your business and family goals. I’ll show you how in the masterclass to close the year strong.

Attend LIVE and get a 30-day Profitable Networking Planner™! No more guessing how to connect with the right people.

By the end of the class, you’ll learn to:

- Reimagine your company vision to energize you.

- Find a clear relationship-building focus for your business’s potential.

- Overcome impostor syndrome to become unstoppable.

Learn a proven plan to turn contacts into connections, even if you’re an introvert. It helped me land GaryVee on my podcast, write books, and secure major sales, including a collaboration with the world’s first IVF baby. I’ll share this in the masterclass.

Ready to add this to your calendar! Sign-up to be the first to know when the doors OPEN for this LIVE free masterclass! https://www.melissallarena.com/masterclass/

Let’s turn ON your superpower LIVE!

-Melissa Llarena

About Liz Tenety

Liz Tenety is a dynamic founder, digital entrepreneur, and transformation coach dedicated to empowering ambitious women. As the co-founder of Founding Women, she supports female founders through expert-led small groups and accelerators. Liz previously served as the Chief Digital Officer and co-founder of Motherly, where she played a key role in growing the venture-backed startup to 30 million monthly users and significant revenue. With nearly 20 years in media and startups—including a decade at The Washington Post—Liz now leads Growth Mode, her growth consulting firm, and coaches at Blue Engine Collaborative and Georgetown University. Her passion lies in using design thinking, storytelling, and data to uplift women and mothers in business.

Quotes, that can change your perspective:

"Not having friends is actually a recipe for me for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play." - Liz Tenety

"I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids." - Liz Tenety

"I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not up front hiring resources before I make one dollar. Any other mom found a better way?." - Melissa Llarena

"I feel your pain, and it's not easy to make these numbers work." - Liz Tenety

"No great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learn better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company" - Liz Tenety

"You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy." - Melissa Llarena

SHARE this episode with anyone who’s juggling the demands of motherhood and entrepreneurship! Whether you’re seeking tips on avoiding burnout, balancing work and family, or building a support network, Liz Tenety’s insights are gold. Let’s spread the wisdom and help each other thrive—don’t miss out!

Supporting Resources:

Website: https://foundingwomen.co

Instagram: @liztenety

Subscribe and Review

Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators? I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet.

I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

About Fertile Imagination – www.fertileideas.com

You can be a great mom without giving up, shrinking, or hiding your dreams. There’s flexibility in how you pursue anything – your role, your lifestyle, and your personal and professional goals. The limitations on your dreams are waiting to be shattered. It’s time to see and seize what’s beyond your gaze. Let’s bridge your childhood daydreams with your grown-up realities. Imagine skipping with your kids along any path – you, surpassing your milestones while your kids are reaching theirs. There’s only one superpower versatile enough to stretch your thinking beyond what’s been done before: a Fertile Imagination. It’s like kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when it’s alert!

In Fertile Imagination, you will awaken your sleeping source of creative solutions. If you can wake up a toddler or a groggy middle schooler, then together with the stories in this book – featuring 25 guests from my podcast Unimaginable Wellness, proven tools, and personal anecdotes – we will wake up your former playmate: your imagination!

Advance Praise

“You’ll find reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling life in this book!” —MARTHA HENNESSEY, former NH State Senator

“Melissa invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom (and dad too) truly happy to work on...even after the kids are in bed.”

—KEN HONDA, best-selling author of Happy Money

“This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours.” —MAUREEN TURNER CAREY, librarian in Austin, TX

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Liz: I try to set up opportunities for play with my kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that. And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, the little books with Paw Patrol. Like aesthetically, like it offends me. So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid.

00:00:33 Melissa: Welcome to the Mom Founder Imagination Hub, your weekly podcast to inspire you to dream bigger. Plan out how you're going to get to that next level in business. Find the energy to keep going and make sure your creative juices are flowing so that this way you get what you really want rather than having to settle. Get ready to discover how mom founders have reimagined entrepreneurship and motherhood. Ever wonder how they do it? Tune in to find out and stretch yourself by also learning from diverse entrepreneurs who might not be moms, but who have lessons you can tailor about how you can disrupt industries and step way outside of your comfort zone. I believe every mom's superpower is her imagination. In this podcast, I'm going to give you the mindset, methods, and tools to unleash yours. Sounds good? Then keep listening.

00:01:25 Melissa: Welcome, beautiful mom founder. So in today's episode, we're gonna go through burnout. Is there a way to avoid it? Is there a way to keep it at bay through energy management solutions that work for you and your family? Also, we're gonna go through building a business and how that might actually make you a more empowered mom who can design a family life that is almost like run like a business with heart, of course. We're also gonna go through investing in your wellbeing and why you might want to pay for the child care, pay for the VAs before you turn a profit. So the conversation today is something that I personally really needed. Today's guest is none other than the co-founder behind Motherly, current founder of Founding Women, a career community supporting female founders through expert led small groups and accelerators. The name of today's guest is Liz Tenety.

00:02:21 Melissa: I am thrilled to have her perspective. She's a mom of five and she knows what it takes in order to run a venture backed startup. She also knows what it takes in terms of the requirements that having a big family have on our energy levels and sources. So enjoy the conversation. Definitely. Let me know what you think in terms of the possibilities for you to almost piece together your own childcare solutions, piece together your own resources so that you can have that opportunity to invest in your wellbeing upfront, so that you can actually launch your business, build your business, scale your business, and make whatever vision you have for your business turn into a reality that you are better off for, you and your family. That's what it's about here. So enjoy the conversation.

00:03:17 Melissa: This episode is brought to you by a masterclass I want to formally and cordially invite you to on September 23rd. We're gonna go through a focused 30 day networking strategy that is gonna help you end the year strong. It is about having a company vision that energizes you. It is about, and we're gonna go through how to focus, where to apply your finite focus as a mom, and also how to actually navigate feeling like an imposter at times so that you get billed and really enhance the profitable relationships that are going to take your business to the next level. This is happening on September 23rd. I know, I know, right now we are just getting our kids back to school and that might not be on your top of mind list, but I want to just give you some of the details that we're going to run through. And I want to invite you to sign up today for my newsletter so that you're the very first to hear of when I opened the doors for this masterclass that will be live for one hour on September 23rd, which is a Monday. So just go to fertileideas.com. Go ahead and grab my free networking playbook while you're at it, and that will instantly put you on the list. So on September 23rd, here's what you're in for.

00:04:45 Melissa: You are going to 100% have a really good idea on how to make your company vision, which a lot of you might call your origin story or that description on your website that describes what you do, who you are and why, and have it work for you. Have it energize you, have it feel more aligned and have it almost like contribute to that pep in your step. The second thing we're going to do is we're going to narrow your focus. And here's what I mean by that. It is not about, you know, not, it's not about being in monk mode. It's not about going to a retreat in some cottage in Canada. No, it is about understanding what you need to accomplish to make the end of this year, 2024, align with what you had originally intended this year to look like in terms of your revenue, in terms of your business, in terms of whatever creative endeavor you have out there. And the third point, which I mentioned a little earlier is, you know, on a path to building a business, there are moments where you might start second guessing yourself. You might encounter self doubt that mental chatter that I don't know if I'm ready might pop up. I want you to have a proactive plan this year so that the end of the year, you don't have regrets. I wish I would have, I wish I would have pressed send. I wish I would have published my book. I wish I would have, you know, launched my podcast, I wish I would have asked for, you know, bigger donation dollars for my nonprofit. I don't want you to have that on your heart.

00:06:11 Melissa: I want you to be totally prepared and ready for a strong end to 2024. So quick, quick, quick to do go to fertileideas.com. That'll be in the show notes and sign up. Get the playbook while you're at it. I have a networking playbook that also helps you start to build profitable relationships and it is so useful whether you are an introvert or an extrovert or somewhere in between There's such a thing as an ambivert. So go ahead to fertile ideas comm get the playbook. Here's the thing I'm gonna be pricing it about $14.99 so you could totally wait and get it later, but today right now it is free for mom founders to go to fertileideas.com, that is how you get in my email newsletter and that is also how you have first persons access to the details around this masterclass that will be live will be on September 23rd and will be all for mom founders who want to end the year strong.

00:07:09 Melissa: So go ahead right now. I'll give you a second hit pause and sign up for the playbook. So you get on the newsletter and you're the first to know about this masterclass is going to change the way you end 2024. I look forward to seeing you there and enjoy the conversation with Liz Tennedy. I'm so excited that she joined me on The Mom Founder Imagination Hub. So Liz, I am so excited to have you here on the mom found her imagination hub. I love that you're putting on chapstick. That is so mom of you in the morning. How are you?

00:07:41 Liz: I'm great. I slept well last night and kids are healthy. The babysitter's here. We're nearing the end of summer break. So I'm feeling hopeful about the future, even the next couple of weeks.

00:07:56 Melissa: Yeah, I think they call it summer break, but I feel like we end up kind of breaking, if we don't have everything like structured out and our resources in place. And so I get it. I get it. But here's here's something that I would love to speak with you about in great depth, right? For as long as we have the time. Burnout. Let's let's like dive deeply into burnout. I mean, in terms of your experiences and now with what you're doing with Founding Women, I know that it's top of mind. I know that it's part of, you know, wellness as a solution, but here's kind of my thought on burnout and I wanna hear what you think. So I feel like having a narrow focus is one way to kind of proactively address burnout or not get to that place. But then I also think, so I have lots of thoughts, but I'll just share my second and I'll stop there. I also think that we have different points at which we reach burnout. So I might reach burnout after X hours of work sitting down at my computer, whereas someone else might have a different burnout point. So here's the question I asked myself legit. How can I work really hard and long right before my burnout point so I don't get to that place where it's hard to get back?

00:09:22 Liz: I mean, it's such a huge, huge topic. I think something I always personally love to do is to zoom way out. And by that, I don't just mean for my own life. I actually mean like on the horizon of time and human history, how are humans doing work and life in other cultures, in other times, like a hundred years ago, 10,000 years ago? Because my own like little life hypothesis is that we're living in unbelievably unprecedented times, particularly for mothers in the West who, you know, live these nuclear family lives. They have less sort of social support than ever, right? And we also have in its place no structural support, no political support, no corporate culture support for motherhood to kind of put my own struggles and the struggles of other parents, but especially moms that I encounter like in this context of, sure, by a lot of measures, we have things better than in human history.

00:10:36 Liz: But if you look at other groups of measures like social support, belonging, meaning, I think we're actually really struggling. And so just knowing that helps me not feel so alone and feel like the struggle is real, like it's not just all up in my head. So that helps. And I'm always zooming out for my own problems and the daily struggles, because it really helps to put things in perspective for me. You mentioned narrow focus, which I find really interesting. And I don't know that I have like one answer. And frankly, I think any productivity guru who's giving you one answer or one framework is lying to you in different seasons of life. And I think that's particularly true for women and those who bear children that there's literally seasons that happen in your body and we need to respect them, but there's also seasons throughout the year. Capitalism acts like everything is always upward on the trajectory and it's not. We do need those seasons of rest and recovery that are just natural to being a human, especially being a woman, especially being a mother. So pushing back on that idea that it's always, you know, upwards. Anyway, get back to narrow focus. When I heard you talk about narrow focus, it reminded me of Greg McEwen's book, Essentialism, which I read, let's see, six years ago, and I found it so helpful, and I found it like such a relief.

00:12:10 Liz: I was running my startup at the time or venture back startup, we were in total growth mode. I mean, it was so intense every single day. I read it on vacation that I took. And one of the one of the anecdotes in that book is about a large family. I think I think it was a stay at home mom and like a traditional working, you know, in the office dad. I remember that they had six kids. And the story was that that couple had decided that for that season of life, they did not need to focus on their friendships, their social lives, okay? And they went really narrow. It's about raising the kids and running this household. Again, I get that. And that was so logical. So I kind of bought it into this idea of narrow focus, right? The only thing I told myself at that time that I had capacity for, the only things were taking care of my kids and running my startup. And I bought in on that. And what happened was I burned out. And I realized why.

00:13:12 Liz: And actually, Greg McEwen has written a follow-up book called Effortless, like critiquing his own framework here because then I realized, you know, in the pandemic and in the years that followed, as I approached 40, not having friends is actually a recipe for me, for burnout, not focusing on pleasure and rest and play. That I got so narrow that I didn't even allow myself to do things that were actually holistically good for me as a human being. So, and yeah, I'm attracted to the idea of like going narrow and not and letting certain things fall by the wayside. I do think depending on your season of life though, really looking holistically at like, what do I, what do I actually need to be refueled for this journey?

00:14:03 Liz: And kind of doing that 360 view of it is really critical. And I think for me, being too narrow and saying, oh, I don't have time for friends. I don't have time to work out. I don't have time for wellness. I'll prioritize that in a different season. That's actually ironically the thing that led me to burnout and then decide like, okay, I need a hard break with what, you know, the life that I've been living in a big reset, which is what I did about three years ago.

00:14:29 Melissa: Yeah. And it's interesting because when I talk about focus, what I mean is focusing on what gives you energy. And it doesn't necessarily mean taking everything off your plate. You might actually want to add things to your plate that energize you, like in your case, friendships, right? Or playing with your child, you know, playing pretend and things like that. That magical moment and experience can make you more excited when you're out there marketing, you know, your solution. And so I totally get what you're saying. I think our focus for what helps us avoid burnout.

00:15:11 Melissa: It's different. It's different from me. It's different for you, you know, like maybe, maybe I have social anxiety. I know some clients of mine, they suffer with that. And so the thought of them like going out in the world and such is draining on them, you know, but like virtual coffee chats as an example, might be really uplifting and helpful. So I think your point is perfect. Absolutely perfect. So let me ask you this question, because I feel like it's like the elephant in the room, right? For a lot of moms that found a business. So you mentioned two big, big, big things that were going on in terms of mothering your children, of which you have five, right? You have five. And running a business. So those two things, like I feel like the other side of it is, okay, how do you prevent burnout? I think we also have to be honest about the things in our lives that contribute to burnout that are not just you know, pitching clients or getting investors, but also untangling fights between siblings or schlepping someone from point A to point B and you know, there being traffic. And I don't have a spreadsheet that says, here are all the things that I think about that drain me from a family perspective, but I do have a list of to-dos from a business perspective.

00:16:34 Melissa: So looking at both sides, would you say that you have found in talking to founding women and learning about moms, through motherly and other means, have you found that maybe we're not being honest enough with the things that are really on our list? There are some invisible things that are not on our list that drain us.

00:16:54 Liz: I love that. Yeah, that makes so much sense. I love your framework around energy management and I think it's sort of surging as a concept and people are growing in their awareness of this idea of focusing on what you have energy for and the sources of energy drain so that you can be in that zone of genius more frequently. And also, you know, you mentioned playing with your kids. I got some great advice a decade ago from a friend and I've tried to practice it, which is that I try to set up opportunities for play for kids that I enjoy. I don't like board games. I just like, I don't like that.

00:17:36 Liz: And I don't like terrible cartoon character books, you know, the little books with like Paw Patrol, like aesthetically, like it offends me, you know? So I try to like play a basketball. I love playing basketball with my son. So I'll try to do something with my child that I enjoy and read, choose the book that is going to bring me pleasure to read with my kid.

00:18:00 Liz: So even in parenting, looking, taking inventory of how do I use that, even in the car. I want to put music on that I'm going to enjoy, that I'm going to get energy from. And, you know, they're kind of whining in the background because, like, they don't like my weird music. Like, I'm fine with that. I, you know, I am the driver. I am the parent. I'm going to decide that, you know, we're listening to music that I enjoy. You know, you also are reminding me of. Something that I talk to my husband about all the time, which is that we're trying to build a life for ourselves and an integrated work and life work business family that we haven't quite seen modeled in our you know, micro communities.

00:18:44 Liz: You know, we've seen it kind of out there vaguely with like influencers who kind of live that more integrated family lifestyle. And by that I mean like family businesses or having a unique work family blend or being digital nomads and that kind of thing, which we're not, but I find that general concept interesting. And that is this, that if we want to live a little bit more intentionally, a little bit more unconventionally, we are going to have to find solutions for our family that we haven't seen modeled. And so something I love about your work is just your appreciation for creative genius and outside of the box solutions.

00:19:30 Liz: But to get very specific, I realized a few years ago that I was hiring babysitters at nights or on the weekends so that I could catch up on housework or paperwork, you know, all the like logistics. So I realized, okay, wait a minute, instead of paying someone to watch my kids so I can clean, I should hire house help with that extra money. funds that I might have so that I could spend that time with my kids. And similarly, I recently hired a VA, a virtual assistant, right? So it's 600 bucks a month. I don't pay my bills anymore. They get paid, but my VA pays the bills, plans activities, buys tickets and airfare for trips.

00:20:18 Liz: Anything that's like weighing on me, even something this week I asked her to do was make sure the kids were signed up for the right bus for their school, all of that long, long, long, long list. I think of it like building scaffolding around our family where there's that long family list and I'm able to get support in things that aren't bringing me energy and that are taking away from my capacity to be focused on my kids at that time or on my work. The last part of where we are as a family with this I have to give my husband a lot of credit. We're working really hard in this season of life to get our kids much more actively involved in like solving the problems or the work of the family.

00:21:05 Liz: So having a heavier chore list for them, having them make sure they're doing their own laundry, having very clear assignments. In fact, last night my daughter was working on the meal plan and adding the ingredients to our grocery card on my phone. And so we think of it like a team. And when we think of our family as a team and as your kids get older, I'm finding it helpful and instructive and good for them to be more involved in making this team like function as a group. So those are some of the creative ways that I found to over time make this all work in a way that decreases my personal burnout.

00:21:49 Melissa: That makes sense, a lot of sense. I mean, I've definitely had someone that was talking about fair play and just, you know, making sure that everybody picks up different responsibilities and the mom, for the most part, doesn't feel so like, you know, out of control. So I totally hear what you're saying. I have to ask this question. It's something that is really pressing on my mind because a lot of the clients that I've supported.

00:22:14 Melissa: It's almost like they wait until a certain magic number from a revenue perspective or a certain magic age of their kids to start hiring any resources. Yeah. Right. So I heard and this could be totally fictional, but I heard one mom say, oh, I had a coach that said, you know, before, like, make $100,000 in your business and then hire a VA, for example. And so she split it in half. She said, how about $50,000 and then I hire a VA. Here's the chicken and egg question. It's like, as a mom, to be very brutally honest, I don't know how to keep up with the competition if I'm not upfront hiring resources before I make $1. Like help me untangle this.

00:23:11 Liz: I couldn't agree more and I don't presume to speak for other people's budgets and you know people have a wide variety of needs and things that they're paying for. I will say that you know as we've become parents, we were 27 when we became parents, we're about to turn 40 this year. So we make significantly more money today than we did you know when we were 27 and we had our first child and the vast majority of that income, the extra income that we made has been reinvested in quality childcare that makes our lives easier as parents in some housekeeping support. We have less now than we've had in the past because our kids are more capable.

00:23:53 Liz: But when I was working at the start or running my startup full-time, you know, I was not doing any housework. That was like a weekly job and or someone was coming in to do the laundry. We have looked at like school budgets, right? Like our kids haven't necessarily gone to the preschool that we really wanted them to go to because literally my husband showed me if you choose this preschool, we choose this preschool, like we can't have housekeeping support. So we chose like the more affordable option so that we could put that money back into having a housekeeper and help us with the laundry and the maintenance of our home.

00:24:34 Liz: So, and we don't take many vacations, if any, will go travel to visit our families. We've even started driving 10 hour trips, 12 hour trips to go visit family to cut down on the cost of our vacations because I truly believe that early investment in my wellbeing is the thing that's gonna allow me to build my next business and kind of align my professional life with the integrated family life that I really want.

00:25:03 Liz: That being said, like it's so, so hard out there for working moms. We lack affordable childcare. We lack maternity leave policies. So I have nothing but empathy and I want people to know that if they are just truly looking at their budgets and saying like, I can't make this work, it's not your fault. You know, we, we have to pay, is it in some cities, you know, twice the cost of housing for our childcare. And there's no other country on earth that asks this of families.

00:25:34 Liz: So, you know, I feel your pain and it's not easy to make these numbers work. That being said, reinvesting yourself is absolutely the best thing that you can do and, you know, do it flexibly. I've had certain VA services that didn't work out and I no longer work with them. The one that I'm using now is phenomenal and I'm recommending them to others. But there's a book called Design Your Life, which is out of the Stanford D school and this whole idea of using prototypes, right? Lightweight prototypes to find solutions is one that I think my husband and I have tried and applied. And we keep trying different solutions to make this work in our various stages of life.

00:26:15 Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I, it's so interesting because I think so much great thinking comes out of these world-class institutions, right? I know you're at Georgetown and for me, I have relationships with Tuck but what I will say the one really big missing piece of the puzzle is okay. So that's nice if you wanna work in a big corporate environment, go up the ranks, et cetera, or have a startup, I'm thinking about Stanford, right? With its entrepreneurial leanings. But then what happens when you've had no sleep? Or what happens when you have one child and then you have five, you know, there's all these changes that are not just logical spreadsheet solutions, but they're emotional conversations that a lot of founding moms have in our heads that take up our finite energy.

00:27:04 Melissa: Okay, so here's something else that I was super curious to hear your thoughts on. So asking for help and just, you know, resources. I was having this like conversation with a mom, you know, over me with the margarita, her with the tea, and she said, you know, I've met all these like moms that have these fabulous businesses and they have legions of support, legions. And that's not what I heard you say right now. I heard that it's quite the adjustable team building setup. Say more on maybe the first step. Like how can somebody just incrementally build a team so that they don't have to like go all out and think, oh, it's all or nothing. But you know, there's this one resource and second and third.

00:27:51 Liz: So I guess over the decade of that, I've been a mom and an entrepreneur, I've learned how to think really creatively about time. And you know, all like working moms know that all of a sudden we can get a whole day's worth of work done in just a few hours. And that kind of may have seemed impossible before motherhood, but we just get this incredible focus. So I have been there. I mean, when I was a first, when I was a new working mom, I could not afford full time childcare. So I had four hours in the morning, I had lunch with my son, and then I worked as hard as I could during his two hour nap, right. So I kind of got to seven hours of work, working that way, just working around nap time.

00:28:36 Liz: I also have joined gyms where there's two hours of childcare and a little cafe that you can sit in. And so for like 200 bucks a month, you get two hours of childcare a day, whether or not you work out, which is a pretty great deal. You know, YMCAs have free childcare and are really affordable in a lot of communities. So I would think, you know, I would not bat an eye at doing that. I've also heard of entrepreneur moms setting up childcare swaps with other entrepreneurs. So one mom takes the kids one day, another mom, the next.

00:29:13 Liz: I also just, you know, encourage people to think about what they really need help with. Cause sometimes I think, do I really need more childcare and to spend a thousand dollars next week on full-time childcare or do I need to assign this project? To my VA or hire someone on Upwork to get this job done, right? I also think looking at the weekends, which I can often get taken over by kid activities, but my husband and I are working hard now to make sure that we each have designated time on the weekends to ourselves so that we can recover a little bit from the week and be able to be more intentional with, with our kids. So I guess not that I have an easy answer, but trying to think really creatively about your team, your time, where to find really dedicated pockets of time.

00:30:06 Liz: Lastly, I work from home. I've worked full-time from home for 12 years since becoming a mom. But this afternoon, I'm going to a cafe because talk about the space-time continuum. I can somehow be so much more creative and productive and I can put my headphones on and get a latte and sit down and crank workout in a cafe environment. Like that energy is really good for me creatively. And so again, it's like, it is about energy, it is about time, it is about money and all those things kind of intersect and just encouraging people to use their creativity.

00:30:41 Liz: Also, ChatGPT is blowing my mind every single day. And so when I have like thorny questions of how do I solve this weird problem that I've never even talked to someone about? ChatGPT is surprising me with what it's able to suggest. So even AI tools and things like that are able to kind of introduce serendipity into our lives when we realize that, you know, no great company is built alone. And in a lot of ways for me, I learned better how to run my family and think about what it means to lead a family by running a company and seeing no one can, I can't scale a startup by myself. I need talent to be in their zone of genius and we need to work together on a shared mission. And that over time is how I've tried to operate our family more and more intentionally, learning from running my company.

00:31:32 Melissa: I love that. That's the opposite direction or the other direction that Zibby Owens suggested. So Zibby Owens was on Mom Founders Imagination Hub. And she was saying how being a stay at home mom has helped her build out her business and the Zibby verse. Right. So that's like one direction. And then now you are sharing how it helps in the opposite direction too. Right. So founding the business, building the business, being a mom. And I feel like I'm kind of in between because I literally launched my business with my firstborn on my chest. Like I went to that first sales meeting with my baby in my Ergo baby. And he had a diaper blowout and I closed the sale. But Manhattan is all the better for that experience.

00:32:25 Melissa: [unclear] I love this. I love this. And you know what? You have a fertile imagination to say the least. And I think that is, it's huge. It's one worthy that anyone listening should totally check you out. Totally check out Founding Women, go to the website. And just use that expansive thinking to figure out the best solution for yourself, because your energy needs might be different than Liz's energy needs and my own. And so we need to each do our due diligence to see what works best for us and our family. So thank you so much, Liz. And so I appreciate you so much, Liz, for this conversation. And I would love to just hear more about where listeners can... follow you and learn more about what you're building for us.

00:33:15 Liz: Sure, well, thank you for that. My husband went to Stanford Business School and I did not attend but I did start motherly while he was in business school. And I'm on a list serve with all these women who are moms coming out of Stanford GSB, right? So high powered business women and they're about seven years post MBA right now, seven to ten years post MBA. And all of these high powered women are wrestling with this exact thing. So it's just really interesting to have like a sneak peek into that.

00:33:44 Liz: I am building a new support community for female founders. It is the community that I did not have. I think, you know, there's awesome career communities out there for ambitious women. Chief is, you know, the big famous one among them. But in my experience, founders, entrepreneurs are... much more motivated by this idea of freedom, of building an asset, of controlling your schedule. And the challenges that we face are quite different as female founders trying to build in that way. So people can go to foundingwomen.co. You can also look me up on LinkedIn, where I share more information about our community and also just supportive resources for female founders. So my name is Liz Tenety, T-E-N-E-T-Y. I'm hoping eventually to launch my own personal Instagram.

00:34:34 Liz: But I'm also the co-founder of Motherly. So if you are a mom and kind of in the midst of intense, you know, motherhood seasons, we provide expert support and resources on Instagram and our website, and you can find us at @mother.ly.

00:34:49 Melissa: Here are the three things that you will want to really think through pertaining to how to make your life better, how to feel more energized, more enthusiastic about what's ahead. Point number one, investing in your wellbeing before you turn a profit, understanding that everyone's budget is going to be different, and also understanding that you might feel uncertain in terms of what is coming up in the markets, et cetera. It is still a choice that you can make if you already are using some dollars for other sort of components of your childcare experience, right?

00:35:24 Melissa: So what I loved about Liz was that she didn't necessarily come up with some extra magic money. She instead with her husband made a decision. Either the kids go to childcare or go to a preschool that is higher priced, or we figure out a more affordable solution for their childcare or for their preschool and use the remainder or what's leftover or the extra for whatever it might be, cleaning the house. And so that is very inventive in the sense that it's not so much like asking for more, but doing different with the dollars that you intended to spend anyways.

00:36:03 Melissa: Second point, and again, this is before turning a profit if that is available to you. It is an investment. It's a different way of seeing things. The second point that I think is really worth thinking through for yourself is that burnout is not necessarily about being in monk mode, going to a retreat and being secluded from family and friends. You might get so much energy from hanging out with your loved ones. And why would you avoid that source of energy? You're a mom, there's finite energy. And if that is important to you, it is important for you to include that in terms of your, you know, avoid burnout plan.

00:36:43 Melissa: Here's the third point in terms of building a business. Zibby Owens actually in another podcast, which I will link in the show notes. She said that she learned how to build her business and be a team leader from being a stay at home mom. Here, Liz provides the opposite. She shares how building her business, so co-founding Motherly and now founding Women, is helping her really navigate motherhood and build a lifestyle and family life experience that is quote unquote sustainable and I don't know, maybe scalable if that's the right word in that instance. Either way, I would encourage you to really reimagine how you approach your life experience and how you intend to build up or scale your business given this conversation with Liz.

00:37:34 Melissa: I think there was a lot here that can be shared with other moms. I think anyone that is starting or thinking about launching a business needs to hear this conversation. So go ahead and share this episode with them today. You could share it either on iTunes or right here. Be sure that if you do share it on YouTube, which I would love, be sure that you share it with them and you just give them a heads up that they're about to change their perspective on whether or not it's possible to avoid burnout with few or limited resources. I think this conversation offered enough food for thought.

00:38:12 Melissa: So thank you so much. And until next Tuesday, did you subscribe? Did you actually hit the notification bell on YouTube? And if you're listening on iTunes or anywhere else this podcast is heard, did you hit follow? You just have the tiny little things that make a really big difference and encourage me to continue to pump content out like this for other moms. Moms who we have to use our imagination in order to carve a path that we may have never seen laid out for us before. Thank you so much.

  continue reading

257 afleveringen

Tüm bölümler

×
 
Loading …

Welkom op Player FM!

Player FM scant het web op podcasts van hoge kwaliteit waarvan u nu kunt genieten. Het is de beste podcast-app en werkt op Android, iPhone en internet. Aanmelden om abonnementen op verschillende apparaten te synchroniseren.

 

Korte handleiding