Are you at a place in your life where you think you should have it all figured out by now? Heidi Gustafson is a Board-Certified Hypnotist and Mindset Coach who has taken all her life challenges and turned them into her superpower of creating a life that she loves… and she coaches midlife women to do the same! If you feel like you've tried everything and still don’t know where to start, you’re in the right place. From painful divorce to retirement, chronic people pleasing to crushing self dou ...
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5 Marriages, 4 Children, 3 Divorces, 2 Dogs, 1 Joint Effort at Mastering Midlife. No one gets it right all the time. Especially when it comes to relationships, parenting, step-parenting and general ‘adulting’... Join Andrea McLean and Nick Feeney as they share their highs, lows and everything in between as they attempt to Master Midlife. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteringmidlifepodcast/ Andrea Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreamclean1/ Nick Instagram: https://www.instagr ...
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Mastering Midlife podcast is for you if you’re in your 40s and 50s and asking yourself "what happened?" For those of us driven to succeed, but concerned about burnout in your work, career, and relationships. It’s the show that teaches you how to thrive when the world asks the most of you. This podcast will give you tried and tested better alternatives. Top-selling author and executive coach Mark J. Silverman shares his direct and meaningful conversations with world-leading experts in busines ...
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50. People Pleasing Trap: How Do I Say ‘No’ & Avoid Disappointing Someone?
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Have you ever felt obligated to say yes just to avoid disappointing someone? This common people pleasing dilemma can often leave us feeling overwhelmed and resentful. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why a reluctant yes is more harmful than an honest no for both you and the other person The hidden costs and ripple effects of always saying yes when yo…
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49. How People Pleasing Destroys Self Worth! Take Back Control with One Game-Changing Question
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Do you ever catch yourself asking, "what if they don't like me?" If you're a people pleaser, this question can end up running, and even ruining your life. In this episode, you’ll learn: What causes us to people-please and seek validation from others The physical and mental toll people pleasing can take on us A simple question you can ask yourself t…
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48. More Life Lessons from an Ex People-Pleasing Procrastinating Perfectionist
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If you've ever hesitated to ask for help, felt trapped by your commitments, or lost touch with your true self, this is your wake-up call. In this episode, you’ll learn: The three lessons that shattered my people-pleasing, perfectionist mindset Why asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness The liberating truth about changing your mind - ev…
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47. 10 Lessons I Learned About Boundaries & Self Worth In A Hot Yoga Class
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After 15 years of practicing hot yoga, I’ve learned quite a few lessons that go way beyond the mat. But don’t worry, YOU don't have to know a thing about yoga or bend yourself into a pretzel to learn these lessons too. In this episode you’ll learn: The 10 surprising life lessons I picked up in hot yoga The everyday struggles we face when we don't s…
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46. Boundaries: Are You Being Rude & Selfish? A Listener Question
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Setting boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them can sometimes leave you feeling guilty and rude. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we might feel like we’re being rude when setting or enforcing boundaries How to enforce boundaries without feeling “rude” Three simple strategies you can use to know your limits, communicate your needs, and build h…
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45. The Avoidance Trap That Causes Us to Not Set Boundaries
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Have you been avoiding certain situations or conversations in order to maintain your sense of control? In this episode, you’ll learn: Four reasons we put limits on ourselves Real life examples of things we avoid in order to not feel discomfort or not disappoint others How this pattern of avoidance results in a diminished version of ourselves and wh…
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44. Boundary Mistakes People Make & How They Add Stress To Your Life
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Are you always trying to be everything to everyone and repeatedly make exceptions for the boundaries you’ve set? In this episode, you’ll learn: What leaky boundaries are and seven ways to gauge if you have holes in your boundary bucket Four ways that leaky boundaries negatively impact you and add unnecessary stress to your life A simple exercise to…
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43. Saying 'Sorry' Is Damaging Your Self Worth! How to Stop Over Apologizing
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Do you find yourself apologizing too much, even for things you don’t need to be sorry for? In this episode, you’ll learn: The five reasons we feel the need to apologize so much How over-apologizing impacts our relationships and our self worth Two things you can do today to start breaking this devastating habit If you'd like to know more about what …
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42. How Feeling Guilty & Selfish Destroys Your Self Worth
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Constant feelings of guilt and selfishness can be devastating to your self-esteem, making you feel uncomfortable talking about yourself, worried about being seen as self-centered, and afraid to say no or express your true feelings. In this episode, you’ll learn: The three reasons why so many of us feel guilty and selfish so often The way these feel…
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41. How I FINALLY Learned to Set Boundaries From a Toxic Relationship
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Do you struggle with saying no, justifying negative behavior, changing yourself to fit others' expectations, or feeling resentful when your kindness isn't reciprocated? Setting and upholding healthy boundaries is a common struggle for many women I talk to. In this episode you’ll learn: The aha moment that made me realize that my unhealthy or nonexi…
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40. Stop Second-Guessing Yourself: Mastering Self-Trust as a People Pleaser
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I’m doing something a little different this week and answering a powerful question from a listener about learning how to trust our own decision-making. In this episode, you’ll learn: How we become trained to doubt ourselves from a young age What it really means to be selfish and how it affects our people-pleasing behaviors A powerful exercise you c…
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39. The People Pleasing Trap: I’m Not Happy Unless YOU Are Happy!
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Does your people pleasing behavior have you feeling like you don’t even know who you are anymore? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why you can’t depend on others for your happiness and what problems arise when you do Three steps you can take to break free from the trap of people-pleasing and start listening to your own voice A powerful exercise you c…
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38. Breaking Free from Perfectionism: 10 Simple Steps
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Perfectionism is a thief of happiness, joy, feeling successful, calm, content, fulfilled, or any feeling we'd like to have. It's an exhausting behavior that often causes chronic stress and burnout. But, you don't have to stay stuck in the cycle! In this episode, you’ll learn: What causes us to get into perfectionism and how it manifests in our live…
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37. Are You A People Pleaser Who Breaks Promises to Yourself?
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Do you find it easier to keep the promises you make to others but struggle with the ones you make to yourself? In this episode, you’ll learn: How breaking promises to ourselves can affect our mental health The subconscious habits and beliefs that lead us to prioritize others over ourselves Practical strategies and exercises to help you uncover deep…
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36. Part 2: 7 Harmful Myths About People Pleasing
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Welcome to part two of our series diving into the harmful myths that keep us trapped in the cycle of people pleasing and self-sacrifice. Tune in as we continue debunking these myths and learning how to break free from their grip. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4 more myths that perpetuate people pleasing behaviors The importance of recognizing and …
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35. Part 1: 7 Harmful People Pleasing Myths
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The pervasive nature of people pleasing can leave us feeling stuck in roles of perfectionism and guilt, suppressing our true selves and hindering authentic connections. Let's break free from this debilitating pattern so you can live the rest of your life in the freedom of interdependent relationships instead of the constricting codependent relation…
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34. Procrastination: The Secret To What Causes Us To Put Things Off
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Is procrastination holding you back from living the life you want? Tune in for a fresh perspective on this sometimes debilitating behavior and what you can do to address it. In this episode, you’ll learn: Common misconceptions about procrastination and what it really is The role emotions and feelings play in procrastination How you can address the …
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33. Worried About What Other People Think? How To Stop This Harmful Pattern
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Do you find yourself trapped in a cycle of worrying about what others think? It's a common struggle that affects our confidence, self-worth, and ultimately, our decisions. But why do we care so much, and more importantly, how can we break free from this cycle? In this episode, you'll learn: The biological roots of our concern for others' opinions P…
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32. Terrified To Speak Up? What It's Costing You & What To Do About It
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21:35
Does the fear of judgment or rejection have you hesitating to speak your mind? Speaking our truths can be challenging, but withholding our authentic selves can lead to frustration, resentment, and hinder our personal growth. In this episode, I’ll share with you why many of us find it so difficult to speak our truths, the repercussions of staying si…
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9: It's All About Balance...
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Is there such a thing a living a life that is perfectly balanced? Hollywood actor Idris Elba has said that he has had therapy to shift his attitude to work, because he finds it more enjoyable to work than to spend time with his family. Can we relate? Hell yes! We discuss why work is more fun than parenting and partnering, but no one wants to admit …
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31. How My People Pleasing Attracted A Toxic Relationship & 5 Steps I Took To Heal
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Realizing that I was in a toxic relationship with a man I had married just months before opened my eyes to the devastating effects that people pleasing tendencies can have. In this episode, I’m opening up about what I discovered I was doing to attract toxic relationships in my life, the 5 steps I took to heal, and what changes I made to actually be…
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In this show we talk about our Four Things – the list that we compile every week of four things that we have done to fill our cup that have nothing to do with work. They don’t have to be impressive; they can be small things – like the joy of selling something you don’t want any more, or binge-watching a great TV show. Or it can mean literally filli…
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7: Surviving An Almighty F**k Up
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5 Marriages, 4 Children, 3 Divorces, 2 Dogs, 1 Joint Effort at Mastering Midlife. No one gets it right all the time. Especially when it comes to relationships, parenting, step-parenting and general ‘adulting’... Join Andrea McLean and Nick Feeney as they share their highs, lows and everything in between as they attempt to Master Midlife. Our theme …
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30. The Worst Question People Pleasers Ask Themselves & What To Ask Instead
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Do you find yourself constantly asking "why" questions? Why did I do that? Why can't I get control of my eating? Why am I so disorganized? Then you’re definitely going to want to hear the four reasons why the “why” questions can be detrimental to your personal growth, especially for people pleasers. I’ll also share with you what you can do to shift…
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In today’s show we look at the issues surrounding the Holy Grail of midlife – getting a good night’s sleep. We discuss the pros and cons of going to bed on an argument; is it always a bad idea, or is getting some shut-eye so you can think straight actually a sensible thing to do? We also talk about the big issues surrounding sleeping together; duve…
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29. 7 Life-Changing Lessons of An Ex People-Pleasing Procrastinating Perfectionist
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In this special anniversary episode, I'm celebrating the one-year milestone of this podcast, my 61st birthday, and the podcast's top 10% global ranking. Join the festivities as I share with you the life-changing lessons I’ve learned on my journey to becoming a recovered people-pleasing procrastinating perfectionist. Plus, don’t miss your chance to …
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Our guests today are David and Carrie Grant, who have so much to share on today’s theme of communication. It’s one of the first things to break down when relationships are challenged, and as a couple who have lived, loved, parented and worked together for more than two decades, they have a lot of wisdom to share about how have they coped during the…
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Today’s episode is a juicy one! We uncover the truth behind those little white lies we all tell. Do they actually help a relationship stay on track, or are they building a web of deceit and mistrust? And during our chat about friends who don’t play fair when it comes to splitting the bill, Nick spills the beans on a deeply unattractive trait that a…
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28. Is Your People Pleasing Actually About Control?
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People pleasers do what they can to keep others happy, but many times we don't realize that this is a way we maintain control. In today's episode, I'll be sharing what compels us to want to control so much in our lives, and how a single question helped me let go of my 17-year marriage. Stay tuned to the very end because I'm also going to give you 5…
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Sometimes in midlife we have change thrust upon us, as was the case for our guest, comedian Helen Thorn, who found herself unexpectedly and heartbreakingly single just as the world went into lockdown in 2020. Helen is one half of the award-winning comedy duo Scummy Mummies. She is also a Sunday Times Best Selling author with her book ‘Get Divorced,…
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The first Monday in January is the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers, which is why our guest today is the world’s leading Divorce Coach Sara Davison, who specialises in supporting people through this really challenging time. We discuss how it works, what the most common reasons are for calling it quits, and how both the people who help yo…
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27. The ULTIMATE Secret to Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions!
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A shocking 92% of New Year's resolutions fail every year. But, you can avoid falling into this statistic! In this episode, I’m giving you the 3 science-based reasons why it’s so difficult to make lasting changes with resolutions, and sharing the ultimate secret to create change that lasts. Tune in if you want to keep your resolutions! Join the Me F…
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26. As A People Pleaser, How Being Fired From My Job Was The Best Gift Ever!
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Three years ago I went through a devastating moment that turned out to be one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive. In this episode, I’ll share how this pivotal chapter of my life led me to question my deep-seated need for external validation and reassess my self worth. I'll also share three practical steps you can use to break free from the …
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Our first episode is all about Surviving Christmas, which can be really difficult as a blended family, (which we are) so we are joined by the amazing family coach Jane Dockerill to talk us through solutions to sticking points, and how to navigate the challenges surrounding the first ever Christmas as a newly single parent. We also cover the importa…
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25. How To Keep Your OWN Peace As A Peacekeeper During The Holidays
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Do you spend so much energy keeping the peace between others and then find yourself longing for some peace of your own? Peacekeeping is an exhausting pattern that can lead to putting yourself last. In this episode, I'll share two key reasons why you're stuck in this pattern, plus a powerful strategy to break free so that you can finally have some p…
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Door Mastering Midlife / The Content Works
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24. Are You The Peacekeeper? 4 Ways To Stay Sane During The Holidays
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The holiday season brings hustle & bustle, additional spending, and additional pressure for things to be perfect and for everyone to be happy. In this episode, I'll be sharing why this can cause increased stress for those who are people pleasers and often playing the role of peacekeeper. Plus, I'll give you a 4-part method that you can use to break…
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23. Curious To Know If You're Codependent? Ask Yourself These 10 Questions
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Codependency has had such a deep impact on my life and I’m ready to explore it more deeply with you. In this episode, we’ll discuss the origins of codependent behaviors, the distinctions between codependency and people-pleasing, and the 10 questions you can ask yourself to assess if codependency might be playing a role in your life. Tune in to lear…
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22. The Hidden Price of Being Nice; 3 Differences Between Being Kind & Nice
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There are two words that I’ve been mixing up my whole life and you might be too. In this episode, I’ll share with you the profound differences between being nice and being kind, why only one of them helps you to actually be your authentic self, and the 3 questions you can ask yourself to determine which one is directing the choices you make. Join t…
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21. 3 Lies People Pleasers Tell Themselves & How They Keep Us Stuck
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Ever feel like you're stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing and self-doubt? In this episode, I’ll reveal three common lies that people pleasers tell themselves, and how these beliefs can keep us trapped in frustration and resentment. Join me as I share my personal experiences and valuable insights on breaking free from these limiting beliefs, so you …
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20. 4 Secrets to Stay Healthy Without Medication From My 92 Year Old Mom
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My 92 year old mom is as sharp as a tack and as healthy as a horse. In today's episode, I'm sharing her 4 secrets to living a long and fulfilling life. The best news? They're all really simple things that you can implement in your own life! In this episode, I'm also celebrating 1000 podcast downloads - something that was just a dream only 9 months …
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19. 3 Things You Must Do to Help You Get Through Difficult Situations
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In this episode, I share a deeply personal and unexpected experience from my Labor Day weekend that forced me to reexamine how I react to life's curveballs. I discuss the importance of responding rather than reacting, being your own advocate, and adopting the mindset of "I'm willing to see this differently." Join me in exploring these valuable less…
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18. One Thing My SCUBA Experience Taught Me About Self Trust
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What's the best way to give yourself freedom and feel amazing about your life without relying on what others think? If you experience the need for approval from external sources, you don't want to miss the answer in today's episode. I'm sharing the experience I had on my first SCUBA dive in the Caribbean and the surprising connection to external va…
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17. Are You Stuck in People Pleasing? FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) Is The Reason
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Are you afraid of disappointing others or of being judged? Do you often do things out of a sense of loyalty or duty to avoid being seen as bad or unforgiving? Do you feel selfish for putting yourself first or for saying no? If you said yes to any of these, tune in because being in this people pleasing FOG is what we're talking about in today's epis…
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16. Think You Might Be A People Pleaser? 7 Signs & What To Do About It
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Many people view people-pleasing as a good thing, a positive trait. It can be, when driven by genuine love and generosity. But if your people-pleasing is coming from a fear of not being liked, conflict, being rejected, etc., there's a catch. Tune in to hear about 7 signs that might show you that you're being nice for the wrong reasons, and how to s…
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15. Are You Addicted to Stress? 3 Steps to Break The Stress Habit
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Stress is no fun and has many negative side effects. Yet, many of us spend a lot of time in this state and some almost wear it as a badge of honor. Do you want to stop living in survival mode? In this episode, I'm breaking down how and why our bodies and brains get addicted to stress, and what you can do to kick stress to the curb. Are you ready to…
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14. Dislike The Reflection You See in the Mirror? Change It To One You Love!
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Do you look in the mirror and see someone that you deeply love as much as a dear friend? I've despised the person looking back at me, for reasons deeper than physical appearance. In today's episode, I'm sharing how negative perceptions develop and why we end up holding onto them, even when we know they're not benefiting us. Tune in to look at your …
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13. 3 Ways to Inner Peace: Find More Happiness in Midlife
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What is happiness and why does it feel so elusive at times? In this episode, I'm shining a light on the connection between happiness and inner peace, and 3 things to look at so that you can live a peaceful, happy life on a daily basis. Ready to break free from defeating patterns and toxic self-doubt to master your success and happiness? Join our li…
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12. Are Your Burnout and Lack of Boundaries Related? 5 Ways to Know
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Are you feeling perpetually overwhelmed, drained, and teetering on the edge? Could these feelings be more closely tied to your personal boundaries than you realize? Through exploring my own experiences with burnout and boundary-setting, I'll uncover five key signs that these two might be interconnected. Ready to break free from defeating patterns a…
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11. Say 'Sorry' A Lot? How Over Apologizing Impacts Confidence
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Do you say 'sorry' a lot? Most often, the situation doesn't actually warrant an apology. Over apologizing sends the message that you've done something wrong or didn't try hard enough. Tune in for ways to reframe 'sorry' so that you can improve your confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills. Ready to break free from defeating patterns and to…
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