Welcome to the Initiations in Love Podcast! I'm your host, Britta Eskey, master facilitator, leadership trainer, and author of the forthcoming "Initiations in Love" book. You know, they say life is the greatest teacher, and our journey through it, a constant initation. An Initiation into what, you ask? Into LOVE, my friends. And in each episode, we dive deep into the incredible, life-stirring stories of people who dare to say "YES!" to these initiations. They face the trials, and emerge stro ...
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Getting to the Cor/e - of YOU. Who you are is full of love, potential and courage- isn’t it time to set yourself free? Long time personal growth facilitator Britta Eskey offers you guidance about the real, raw, and deep stuff of life. Britta is the co-founder and co-director of COR (www.corexperience.com), a personal growth organization that has worked with thousands of people offering one-of-a-kind rite of passage workshops, trainings, and coaching. This podcast is for people who are willin ...
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So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode makes it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.
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How Women Heal From Sexual Betrayal Trauma (with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket)
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What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuil…
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Episode 13: Finding Yourself in the Dark Night of the Soul with LiYana Silver
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with LiYana Silver about the Dark Night of the Soul. For LiYana, the Dark Night was a profound initiation, one that rocked the foundation of her former self and changed her irreversibly, as Dark Nights have a tendency to do. We talk about several themes, including treating ourselves as a lover versus a warrior, comi…
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When A Wife Discovers Her Husband's Porn (with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket)
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What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behav…
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Excluded And Emasculated (Sermon on Acts 8:26-40)
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Through the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch, you'll hear how Jesus heals sexual shame, childhood trauma, systemic injustice, and the agonizing experience of being excluded and emasculated. If I could sum it up in two words: you belong! This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 9, 2024 at the Husband Material Retreat in Color…
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Building Community Beyond Same-Sex Attraction And Opposite-Sex Attraction (with Drew, Henry, Jason, and Jordan)
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We all experience sexual attraction differently (SSA, OSA, etc). In this episode, we explore the benefits, challenges, and limitations of forming deep friendships with men who experience different types of sexual attraction. Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations…
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Episode 12: Processing Exercise - In and Through the Transformation Cauldron
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Today’s episode of the Initiations in Love podcast is a follow-up to our previous episode: How I Finally Stopped ‘Looking for The One’ with Bonnie Serratore. Britta reads a story from her new spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, entitled, “Facing the Demon”, where she shares one of the first times in her life she consciously faced a difficult and…
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Same-Sex Attraction Stereotypes (with Jordan Castille)
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How do you view men who experience same-sex attraction (SSA)? In this episode, Jordan Castille and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to men. Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) - Candidate, and Certified Hus…
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Opposite-Sex Attraction Stereotypes (with Jason Pidcock)
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How do you view men who experience opposite-sex attraction (OSA)? In this episode, Jason Pidcock and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to women. Jason Pidcock is a Certified Trauma Informed Recovery Coach and longtime member of the Husband Material community. Jason is passionate about helping men overcome the …
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Episode 11: How I Finally Stopped ‘Looking for The One’ with Bonnie Serratore
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with Bonnie Serratore about her lifelong journey to find ‘The One’. Bonnie shares what she means by the term ‘The One’, and takes us from the beginning stages of her very challenging journey as a young person, all the way to where she has arrived today: At true inner peace. (Trigger Warning): This episode covers dif…
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Why Doesn't God Remove My Sexual Thoughts And Feelings? (LIVE)
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If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you. Related resources: Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (paid link) How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze Sexual Fantasies Why We Sexualize Emotions...And How To Desexualize Them Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast…
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How To Develop Empathy For Your Wife (with Nathaniel Gustafson)
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Have you ever felt unable to enter into your wife's pain? In this episode, Nathaniel Gustafson explains how to come close to your wife in a way she is more likely to trust. You'll learn how to stay out of shame, keep the spotlight on her, and practice these skills before "game time." Sobriety is not enough. You must learn empathy. Nathaniel's compa…
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Episode 10: Processing Exercise - Learning to Love Our Body More Fully
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Today’s episode of the Initiations in Love podcast is a follow-up to our previous episode: The Long Journey of Loving My Body with Dani Buckley. Britta reads a story from her new spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, entitled, “The Change”, where she awakened to a much deeper level of surrender to the wisdom of her body through the powerful rite o…
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How Women Can Help Men Heal (with Britta Eskey)
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Many men have been wounded by women. In this episode, Britta Eskey explains how women can help men heal wounds caused by women. Without women, we are missing half of humanity. Britta Eskey co-founded COR, which assists people in finding and living their purpose, including through the Noble Man workshop. Britta is the author of Initiations in Love, …
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Three Unhealed Boys Within Every Man
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Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal. You'll meet: The "good boy" who became "the hero." The "bad boy" who became "the villain." The "hurt boy" who became "the victim." Related episodes: Porn…
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Episode 09: The Long Journey of Loving My Body with Dani Buckley
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with friend Dani Buckley about her long journey of loving her body. Discover how Dani has profoundly navigated this multifaceted aspect of her life, and how she grew in awareness that the way she was living her life was not serving her need to feel good about herself and enjoy her beautiful body. From her early memo…
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A New Approach To Internet Filtering (with Plucky)
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Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com. You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in p…
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Episode 08: Processing Exercise - Growing into Right Relationship with the Inner Critic
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Today’s episode of the Initiations in Love podcast is a follow-up to our previous episode: Facing the Inner Critic - An Initiation into Deeper Self-Love with Chrissy Brady-Smith. Britta reads a story from her book, Initiations in Love, entitled, “Knot in My Stomach Dance”, where she turned her attention inward to examine a constant knot that was cl…
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Outgrowing Porn in Marriage (with Rich and Deanna Millentree)
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How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story. "We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriag…
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How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 2)
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In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy. Th…
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How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 1)
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Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop. The F.L.O.S.S. Method: F = Fear L = Lie O = Origin Story S = Sadness S = Surrender Free resource mentioned in this e…
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Episode 07: Facing the Inner Critic - An Initiation into Deeper Self-Love with Chrissy Brady-Smith
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with one of COR’s former facilitators, Chrissy Brady-Smith, about the Inner Critic. Discover Chrissy’s profound journey of navigating this often shadowy realm, and her initiation into a much deeper level of self-love. Together, they unravel the complexities of self-love, the impact of childhood wounds and generation…
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How I Stopped Getting Into My Husband's Recovery Work Instead Of Doing Mine (with Tera Brown)
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Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body. Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Tr…
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Sitting In The Dirt Of Sexual Brokenness (with Jeremy Williamson)
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How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God. Jeremy W…
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Episode 06: Processing Exercise - Facing the Bottomless Pit
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In today’s episode, Britta reads a passage from her recent book debut, “Initiations in Love,” as a follow up to the previous episode (Transforming Codependency/Anxious Attachment with Aaron Steinberg). In it, she recalls a personal growth story she has titled, “The Bottomless Pit.” She guides listeners through a journaling exercise to lovingly face…
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How To Do Experiential Healing Work
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Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients. Related episodes: How To Heal Your Inner Child Experience Healing Throu…
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Restoration After Porn Relapse (with Rocky Pisor)
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How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or preten…
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It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman)
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"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receiv…
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Episode 05: Transforming Codependency/Anxious Attachment with Aaron Steinberg
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with Aaron Steinberg about his initiation of transforming his enmeshment-tendencies (doing extreme things in order to stay close to a loved one), and how he and his wife grew in love – both with each other and as co-parents. We dig into his experience of Stage Three of the initiation process, the “Transformation Cau…
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Freedom From Gay Porn (LIVE)
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Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn. Recommended resources (including paid links): Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments…
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How Childhood Experiences Shape Sexual Development (with Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt)
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What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn. Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…
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Episode 04: Processing Exercise – Be A Breaker of Generational Trauma
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In today’s episode, Britta reads a segment from The Gift stage of her book, Initiations in Love, regarding a profound insight she had in terms of finding peace within her family of origin. She then guides the listener through a journaling exercise to explore their familial relationships, and begin to break - and heal - cycles of generational trauma…
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Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
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Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma. Free tools to process emotions: Feelings And Needs Wheel Feelings And Needs Inventory Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Color…
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Overcoming Sexual Entitlement (with Noah Filipiak)
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What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Fil…
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Episode 03: Unmasking Generational Trauma with Gina Birkemeier
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In today’s episode, Britta talks with Gina Birkemeier, licensed counselor, award-winning author, and speaker. The topic? Generational Trauma & Generational Healing! Listen as Gina shares her journey through the five Initiations in Love stages, and how she unmasked inherited dysfunction, and became a pattern breaker in her family. Learn how she foun…
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Hope And Healing For Sexless Marriage (with Adam and Karissa King)
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What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam an…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Respond To A Story (Part 4)
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How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Reco…
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Episode 02: Processing Exercise - Is Something Calling YOU?
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In today’s episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta reads a segment of her book, Initiations in Love, and guides the listener through a journal exercise to explore if there is a place in your life where you are being called to step forward. This is a follow-up to our previous episode Finding Freedom in Motherhood with Jess Geist. - - - - …
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3)
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How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality" If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: Why We Do Story Work (Part 2)
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Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…
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Episode 01: Finding Freedom in Motherhood with Jess Geist
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In today’s VERY FIRST episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta talks with her student, friend and business mentor, Jess Geist! They speak about her Initiations in Love journey, dig deep, get vulnerable, and Britta even coaches Jess throughout the discussion. They discuss one of the most primal passages – Jess’s initiation into motherhood.…
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Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: What Is Story Work? (Part 1)
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What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces." If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…
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Porn and Inner Healing Prayer
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What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn? This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com Resources for Inner Healing Prayer: Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inne…
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Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)
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What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundati…
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What Is God Doing In My Trauma? (with Matt Wenger)
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We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, po…
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How To Create Connection In Any Conversation (LIVE)
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Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words. Helpful phrases: Tell me more… What’s it like for you... How does that affect you? That makes sense (because)... It sounds like / I hear you saying…
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Why Men Don't Talk About Their Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter)
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There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Conta…
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How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (with Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill)
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What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and D…
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Healthy Fantasy vs. Unhealthy Fantasy
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Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over …
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A Grace-Based Approach To Sexual Recovery (with Jonathan Daugherty)
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What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the …
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Singleness & Same-Sex Attraction (with Dr. Greg Coles)
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If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (th…
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