Episode 28 - I Am The Center of the Universe, Or Am I?! An Intimacy Coach Attempts to Unpack Decentering
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In this episode I explore the intersection of personal healing work and anti-racism, beginning with "decentering". I attempt to describe how decentering ourselves as white people can be a deeply healing practice to us and to the collective wound of racism.
00:50 Disclaimers for this episode: the intersection between personal healing work and anti-racism
1:38 A definition of decentering in interpersonal relationships
3:05 I teach my clients to decenter their wounded parts and center the most resourced parts of their psyche
3:33 What decentering whiteness means in anti-racist work.
4:58 The relationship between decentering psychologically and decentering whiteness
5:59 Here’s what's possible when we do the work
6:30 The willingness to step out of the spotlight will feel like an honor.
7:05 Validating defensiveness and following feelings to their origin point in our bodies and histories
7:16 Resmaa Menakem and My Grandmother’s Hands
7:58 My anti-racist activism has shown me the next level of work in my healing
8:42 We have the opportunity to help our fellow white activists to better understand our triggers around decentering
9:03 Sharing power is done by the psychologically centered and sound.
9:33 This week’s homework
Resources: The American Psychological Association (APA) definition of decentering. The NYT bestseller, My Grandmother’s Hands, by Resmaa Menakem. A short article by Menakem with an overview of the relationship between healing trauma and healing racism. White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo, a very helpful read to launch and deepen your anti-racist understanding.
Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia
Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley