Processing the Unthinkable: Hours After Lewiston, Maine Neighborhood Mass Murder

The Virtual Couch

Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took an abrupt turn as Josh was alerted by an emergency broadcast on his phone and through social media that 40-year-old Maine National Guard reservist Robert Card went on two shooting rampages, killing 18 people and wounding 13 with the second only a mile away from Shea's home in Lewiston, Maine. Several days later, Josh and Tony get together to attempt to navigate the complex emotional landscape of discussing such a horrifying event, underscoring the importance of approaching the subject with the utmost sensitivity, empathy, and respect.

Tony and Josh dive deep into Shea's personal experiences during the incident and its aftermath. As a former news reporter, Shea candidly shares the surreal emotional and psychological journey he took, contrasting his past experiences running towards crises as part of his job to now sheltering at home in fear and uncertainty. Shea reveals the emotional rollercoaster he's been on: from survivor guilt and concern for his family's safety to the struggles of processing such an immense tragedy, including what the future looks like when an event that we hear about unfortunately far too often actually happens in an area that you know so well. The conversation touches on the psychological toll of collective traumatic experiences, like 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the long-lasting effects they have on individuals and entire communities.

The episode wraps up with insightful conversations around coping mechanisms and the critical importance of mental health support in the wake of traumatic events. This episode serves as a sobering but necessary dialogue on the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of mental and emotional preparedness while understanding that everybody has their own experience and that there truly is no “correct” way to grieve. It's an episode that invites the audience not just to hear but to listen, reflect, and possibly find solace in shared human experiences.

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