The Spin Episode 8 - How to build relationships?

The Spin

It was Mark’s turn to do some research around how to build relationships. We decided to focus our time on John Maxwell’s four levels of relationship.

We started with a definition that we liked.
Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association between individuals sharing common interests and goals. A sense of trust, loyalty and commitment is essential in a relationship. Individuals need to trust and respect their partners to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts in relationship.

Why is it important to be able to build relationships?
Well it makes you happy as we know, but it’s also an important human skill that helps differentiate us from technology. Well so we thought, until Mr B told us that robot influencers that are way more attractive than us (well Mark anyways!) are getting better at building relationships. Who knew!? Well Kristen apparently. Here is a link to Miquela (straight from Kristen’s IG account) and a story that tells you more about the whole crazy phenomenon! No judgement from us if you follow the links and the robots …

The four levels of relationships
These insights from John Maxwell provide a great model for the levels of relationships. You can go from casual encounter in Starbucks to a long last relationships built on trust and mutual respect. Just look at Kristen and Mark – although we didn’t meet in Starbucks.

Surface Relationships

• Most common of all relationships
• Foundation of all relationships
• There is no strong commitment from either person
• There can be a passive approach to the relationship

Structured Relationships - when a relationship is ready to go to another level, it is usually because it has been structure to do so.

• These relationships take place at a specific time each week
• They are built on routine encounters
• Usually happen around a common interest or activity

Secure Relationships - when a structured relationship becomes healthy and enjoyable, the relationship then moves to a new level.

• The people desire to spend more time together ii. Mutual sharing begins to take place
• Trust begins to form
• Friendship can be tested
• There is a comfort level that is established

Solid Relationships

• This is the highest of all relationships
• A long-term relationship will develop
• Complete trust and confidentiality exist
• There is a desire to serve and give to others
• The level of relationship will be determined by the way those involved respond to conflict

Take aways

1. Relationships are a major factor in happiness
2. Relationship building is a very human skills (helps with employability)
3. Remember it’s quality over quantity (lucky for Mark)
4. Be conscious of high maintenance relationships – are you giving more than you’re getting?
5. Trust and respect build solid relationships

Hi lo end of the show

• Kristen’s ‘end of the show’ was this wacky podcast – take a listen!
• Or you can play a game of Spikeball – see you at the 2021 Olympics