Where did it all go wrong?

The Doorstep Mile

Where did it all go wrong?

When I give talks at primary schools, I sometimes ask, 'who would like to cycle around the world?' Every child flings an arm in the air.

Ask the same question to a roomful of adults and the response is very different.

You get some chuckles at such a childish question. One or two eye-rolls ('of course I'd love such an adventure, but it's obviously not realistic for me – I'm a normal person, not an AdventurerTM.') And much muttering about pension plans, dodgy knees, or the need to do a lot of research before buying a £10,000 bicycle…

The audacity has gone. We have lost our boldness.

All people dream, but not equally. Some have their heads filled to the brim with big ideas, crazy dreams, ambitious projects and optimistic hopes. They fizz with energy and curiosity. They answer with 'yes and' rather than 'no but.'

All children and a few adults fit in this category.

These adults are the ones who consider it lunacy to defer the life they dream of. Not only because the future is uncertain, but also because it's more fun to begin living that way right now.

They choose their future and venture into the slipstream. These are the mad ones who launch themselves into projects and watch as they burn, burn, burn into a passion and a life well-lived.

The rest of us have had some sense knocked into us.

Over time the education system, the people we mix with and the conventions of society have dictated what people like us 'should' be doing with our lives. We watch our kids on the zip wire rather than jumping on ourselves. We rarely wear purple clothes with a red hat that doesn't go. We become, I am sorry to say, dull. Whilst the amount of time and money we have fluctuates over life, for the majority of people fear and inflexibility only increase with age. It never gets easier to start living adventurously.

Real life is filled with handicaps, hardships, detours and dead ends. There are unavoidable and pragmatic limits on our wild, youthful declarations. Experience cautions us to become modest with our aspirations. Fear of failing and ridicule makes us downbeat about our potential and our opportunities.

As time passes, these traits calcify, forming a protective shell around our vulnerable wishes. It's safer this way, perhaps, as a boat is safe in harbour. But that's not what boats are for, is it?

When I began doing microadventures, I remember feeling guilty and childish. What was I doing climbing a hill when I should have been sitting at my desk? Why was a grown adult building a raft on a riverbank? It took time to unlearn this conditioning and re-remember to be childlike again.

Nobody wants to look back on life with regret. But so many people do. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying is a poignant book written by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse. Number One on the list was, 'I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.'

You used to dance with joy or march in the streets or lose yourself learning about Star Wars. You didn't fret about what you 'should' be doing – you just did it. You didn't care that other kids knew more than you about the Galactic Empire.

Can you remember your half-forgotten dreams and hopes? Might you be able to rekindle them within the framework of your busy life before it is too late? They might have to be moderated and amended, of course. But a dream is still a dream…

Whatever life bestows on us, nothing need restrict our attitude, our curiosity or our imagination. Whether you are 25 or 52, you can still opt to reclaim the youthful enthusiasm you may have had wrung out of you.

OVER TO YOU:
What current behaviour or belief would a younger version of yourself view with astonishment or disgust?

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