How to say no Part 1: Rejecting and approaching

Closeness

Rejection leaves most people feeling unworthy and hurt. Both men and women are generally terrible at receiving it and even worse at giving it. But rejection is a necessary step towards establishing or maintaining healthy boundaries and a healthy sex life. Why don’t we ever put ourselves in anyone else’s shoes? We hate rejection, but we never stop to imagine the effect our own words have on others. It’s usually scathing and we have no idea that we’re treating others so poorly. It’s critical that we honor each other’s boundaries when we hear a no, but there’s so much more to it than that. How do we distinguish between no, maybe, I’m curious, not yet, and a hard stop? How do we lovingly communicate this to our partners, and how can we hear it without losing our minds? Have we learned how to reject someone in a considerate way? Have you ever thought about the best way to receive rejection? We have, and we’ve got a lot to say about it.

We’ll also examine why men must approach women as well as why women should be sensitive to this if they plan on not approaching men or are incapable of doing so. Many issues in relationships can be avoided simply by telling your partner what you’re feeling and how it’s making you feel. Showing compassion toward the partner who is hurt or being rejected is paramount. As simple as this sounds, we often tell everyone else what’s wrong while our partner remains clueless. We need to be able to give and receive rejection gracefully.

It is EXTREMELY important to honor someone’s boundaries and meet them where they are. Closeness DOES NOT ENCOURAGE pushing past anyone’s no. We DO, however, encourage gentle communication, questions, and authentic discussion on the subject so that we can understand each other and move closer to love.

Let’s get closer:

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