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This podcast episode is a further exploration of the blog post, Anxious Progression One Day at a Time. In this episode I explore the concept of progressive overload in physical fitness, and how that same concept can be applied to working through anxiety -- mainly, progressively adding anxiety to our lives that we have to sit with, face, overcome, e…
 
I recently wrote about this on my blog -- because I've realized the last few months that I have been depressed and anxious for a while. Spurred on by the continual navigation of COVID, and how that has impacted things culturally, as well as some of the way things are currently done on a day to day basis -- I've realized that there has been a latent…
 
I have always been a fan of breath work, especially in the way that it has not only been so helpful for my own life and the anxiety that I have struggled with -- but I have literally seen it change the people's lives that I work with. Breath work is integral to our ability to emotionally regulate -- to stay calm and connected, not only with ourselv…
 
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin I'm definitely no expert on the topic of fasting, but I have been experimenting with it for a few years, and finally decided to do my longest fast since I first tried it back on Maunday Thursday in 1999. In early Febr…
 
At the beginning of each new year we tend to think about turning the page on the current year, setting some goals, and moving with energy and momentum towards the new year that awaits us. Though there is no magic with the turning of the calendar year, it does offer us a chance to think about resetting. But this was a different kind of year. 2020 th…
 
It's hard to know where to begin when describing my friend Marc Payan. Just Google his name and see what comes up. Marc is a leader everywhere he goes, and like few people I have seen before, he inspires and encourages those around him to life a transformed life. That's the best way I can put it -- though it doesn't even really capture accurately w…
 
Part of being human is that we get anxious. And no human can opt out of experiencing anxiety. It visits all of us at varying times in our lives, and to varying degrees. But what if you can reframe anxiety in a way that you see it as a friend, rather than a foe. What if your anxiety could help you grow? I explore this and what it means to be anxious…
 
Todd Sandel (CEO and founder of The SouthCity Group) and I continue our conversation about leadership during this time of uncertainty. In today's episode we focus on the habits and routines that help leaders and their organizations thrive during this time. As well as talking about what that looks like in the home. Specifically the importance of tun…
 
In this interview I chat with CEO and founder of The SouthCity Group Todd Sandel about how leaders can navigate this time of uncertainty. We discuss the metaphor of trimming the sails and how leaders and their teams can identify and prioritize what is most important during this time. This is critical in organizations and in the home.…
 
Yesterday I posted a short video on the movement from orientation to disorientation to new orientation. I first learned it by this name and paradigm by reading Walter Brueggemann's work, The Message of the Psalms. The movement itself is as old as humanity, and it is a movement that we all go through in our lives. Currently we are in a period of glo…
 
It's been a long time since I have done a podcast. About a year actually. I was on a break for awhile, just reading, researching, writing and focusing on other kinds of work. I had nothing new to add to the conversation so thought I would hit pause. But in light of COVID-19 and how it has caused all of us to look at some things in a new way, it has…
 
In this episode I had the privilege of sitting down with my good friends Jeff and Robin Reinke. Besides being colleagues of mine in a workshop we lead in equipping ministry leaders in a variety of issues impacting the church, we are also co-authors in Vital Tools for Relevant Church Leaders: Restoring Relationships and Building Community During Dif…
 
In this episode I discuss the topic of singleness with my colleague Kelly Haer. Kelly is on staff at Pepperdine University in the Boone Center for the Family where she is the Relationship IQ Director. Kelly is a part of the teaching group that I am a part of that meets with and trains ministry leaders 3-4 times a year on issues that are impacting t…
 
In this episode I get to sit down with a colleague of mine who I have been getting to know more over the last couple of years in our collaborative work together around Restoration Therapy and ministry leaders. Robert Scholz is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, consultant and writer, who specializes in helping individuals and families who ar…
 
In this episode I spend some time in conversation with Terry and Sharon Hargrave. Terry is the founder of Restoration Therapy and is the Evelyn and Frank Freed Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Theological Seminary and Sharon is the Executive Director of the Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University, as well as the found…
 
"for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:19) In this episode I reflect on the passage found in Genesis 3:19 that is repeated every Ash Wednesday. It's a beautiful, but harrowing passage that reminds us of just how fragile and short our lives are. But this reminder, rather than being tragic, is to help us focus on our life on what …
 
And he said, "Hagar, slave-girl, of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?" Genesis 16:8 Where have you come from? Where are you going? Perhaps these are two of the most important and fundamental questions we can ask ourselves. I appreciate that Jay Stringer brings to these questions in his phenomenal book, Unwanted: How Sexual Br…
 
This episode is somewhat of a continuation of Episode 115 where I reflected both theologically and psychologically on the biblical text found in Genesis 1-3 (and a little of 4). Those opening chapters have lots of insight and implications for us relationally. In this episode I want to pick up on some of those themes, especially the idea of self-dif…
 
I had the opportunity this last Monday to record a video on anxiety with another therapist, and one of the pastors at Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco. And then a few hours later, I talked to a group of parents at Legacy Christian Academy in Frisco about anxiety and depression. It's obvious that anxiety and depression are prevalent issues a…
 
As I mentioned in a previous podcast, I thought I would take some time this year (on occasion) to stop and reflect on my reading of the bible, and how it connects at the intersection of theology and psychology. So in this episode I want to take some time and just reflect on Genesis 1-4 and some insights that may be helpful for you and your relation…
 
It's been about 5 months since my last podcast episode, as I was needing to take a break for a while why I focused on some other goals. But it's time for a new podcast season, and in this episode I talk about some new topics I am going to explore this season, as well as some new goals that I have been working on, and how I am using a paper journal …
 
"Love consists in this, that two solitudes, protect and border and salute each other." -- Rainer Maria Rilke A couple of weeks ago my wife and I returned from a "marriage adventure" on the Inca Trail in Peru. This adventure (through WinShape and Intrepid), led us for four days and 3 nights hiking along the 33 miles to Machu Picchu. This was an unbe…
 
As many of you know from listening to my podcasts, or reading my blog over the years, is I'm pretty obsessed with the novels of Susan Howatch. Particularly her Starbridge Series of which I'm about to finish my 9th reading of the series in the last 15 years. It's that impactful and transforming in my life. But I talk about one book in particular in …
 
"I'd like to know more, of course, but I've accepted that there's nothing more he has to say; I've accepted that there's a limit on our knowledge of even those who are closest to us. The older one gets the more one realises how saturated life is in mystery, and the biggest mystery of all, it often seems to me, is the mystery of the human personalit…
 
One of the things that happens at the beginning of every year, or at the start of a major transition, is that you see people setting goals. If you were like me you probably thought about all the goals you wanted to achieve in the New Year, and you might have even taken the time to write them down. But if you are also like me, it's possible that you…
 
The new near can bring forth a lot of varying emotions from people. In my experience, a large number of people come into the new year very excited about change and all the potential possibilities that await them. It's often a time to start anew. But there is also a large number of people who come into the new year with a lot of fears about what awa…
 
Often when I'm working with someone in session I try to think of visual and tangible ways that they can remember some of the things that we are processing together. And what I have noticed a lot about relational interactions is that there tends to be this movement that I have found to be helpful for people. This movement goes something like this: a…
 
As many of you know, I love to run. And over the last 3-4 years I have been getting more and more into trail running, as well into ultrarunning (which is technically anything over 26.2 miles). And about a month ago I finished my second ever 50K race, and my second race ever at the Palo Duro Trail Run. My first 50K was the Cowtown Ultra, and a year …
 
Over the last several years my wife and I have begun a new journey in our life. That journey has involved a couple of elements: 1) Trying to incorporate more adventure into our marriage (i.e. trips, taking on challenges, etc.); 2) Working on ways to partner together in marriage. And last month we took another step closer in combining these two elem…
 
One of the reasons many couples can't solve conflict in their relationship is because they often get stuck thinking that their argument is really about the topic at hand (i.e. money, sex, parenting, work, inlaws, etc.). And as long as they believe that, then they will stay perpetually stuck. What I've learned in my experience as a therapist is that…
 
This is a very short podcast episode, but it's a really important one. One of the most important tasks I have in the counseling room is to help people to discern between what their feelings and coping behaviors are. In fact, I spend a lot of time helping people understand their feelings, and what coping behaviors they often lead to. When a person u…
 
I talk a lot about anxiety on this podcast. And sometimes anxiety can seem vague or too theoretical, unless one really has experienced. And even then, just talking about it can seem like an intellectual exercise. But today I had a personal experience that really makes concrete what I mean when I talk about a good anxiety...the kind that is there in…
 
I have recently been thinking a lot about the intertwining of vocation and anxiety. What I mean by that is that it seems that part of the journey towards finding vocation is that anxiety is often along for the journey. In my writing and speaking on anxiety, and in my work with clients, I talk a lot about listening to the voice of anxiety. I believe…
 
One of the most prevalent topics that I come across in my counseling and when I'm speaking, is the topic of technology and relationships. Specifically, the technology of the smart phone/iPad/computer...but usually the smart phone. And along with this technology there is typically a conversation around the online tools that are used with it...mostly…
 
Wow! I can't believe I am already at Episode 100. I published my first episode back on March 24, 2015, with the goal of trying to get at least one episode published per week. With that in mind I was hoping to hit 100 episodes right around the two year mark, if not before. But, things don't always go as planned, and two years and five months later w…
 
Sometimes I have thoughts that I have been processing and I just want to explore out loud with others. In this case, the others is you. So in this episode I explore what it looks like to wrestle with taking the next step in your life, and how you discern what the next step is. Though this could be the case for many things, I mainly look at the next…
 
A couple of weeks ago, my colleagues and I at Thriiive Practices did a lecture for the Meadow's lecture series on emotional regulation. What is emotional regulation? It's essentially one's ability to control or manage their automatic, reactive responses to an emotional trigger, and instead, respond accordingly (and in a healthy manner). That is my …
 
I read a lot of books, but I don't consider myself the best book reviewer. Even though I read with pen in hand and underline and take notes throughout my books, I'm not great at writing about the details. But what sticks out to me are those big ideas in a book...the ones that you can't stop thinking about. The ones that cause paradigm shifts within…
 
One of the things that I hear as a counselor a lot, typically near the end of an intake session with a client, is the question, "How is this going to look?" The question can be asked in a variety of ways, but what is implicit is usually either some form of anxiety over the next steps, or just a general curiosity about what people are signing up for…
 
This past May I had the opportunity to speak at Pepperdine University for the annual Bible Lecture's series. It's primarily a gathering of a combo of lay and professional ministry leaders, and as this event I was able to talk to them about one of my favorite topics...anxiety. Anxiety is a huge issue both in and out of the church, and in fact, Walte…
 
Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to share with the ReEngage Ministry at Hope Fellowship the topic of forgiveness. It's such an important topic not only in all of our lives, but especially in the context of marriage where one's ability to forgive becomes an essential practice. In fact, forgiveness is the only topic that ReEngage covers on two…
 
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to speak to a group of employees for Marriott Hotels here in the local Dallas area. It was a great opportunity to help others understand how to have healthy relationships in and out of the work place by beginning to take care of themselves. So in this podcast episode I share what I shared with them: helping the…
 
I have shared in previous episodes that the journey through Lent has been one of the most helpful things I have done for my faith. And as we finished Lent this last week, culminating in Easter yesterday, I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on the next steps. As we work on embracing and experiencing the resurrected and new life that Easter rep…
 
We live in a culture that continually inundates us with noise. That noise comes in all kinds of forms. Advertising, entertainment, technology, etc. Sometimes we are passive observers of it as we have little control over what billboards are placed in front of us as we drive down the road. Other times we are active consumers, spending inordinate amou…
 
This week's episode is somewhat of a continuation of Episode 89 where I reflected on the role of Lent in helping us process pain and suffering, and as a time to work through trauma. That is, Lent is a period of remembering that is important for us if we are to work through our suffering. In this week's episode I discuss some ways that communities c…
 
I have been thinking a lot about the Lent season, which is appropriate since Ash Wednesday was yesterday. Here is what I posted on Facebook last night: Over the next 40+ days I am going to take some time to reflect on some of the things I am exploring around Lent, trauma and remembering. I hope you will join me on this journey. Resources Mentioned …
 
This last weekend I led a class on fostering intimacy in marriage to a group of premarital couples. I love doing this work, but intimacy can be a complicated issue. When we think of intimacy in our culture we often think of sex, or at least physical intimacy to say the least. But the reality is there are varying kinds of intimacy that are important…
 
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