Porn Recovery Podcasts

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Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

Vern Tompke

11h ago11h ago

Maandelijks+

For those who are looking to gain traction and momentum as they move away from the destructive effects of porn and porn behaviors and pursue the life and relationships they dream of.

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No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

No More Desire

5d ago5d ago

Maandelijks+

What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices. My mission isn't just to help people overc ...

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Porn Addiction Recovery Podcast

Bulumko Papu

3y ago3y ago

Dagelijks+

My name is Bulumko Papu (you can call me Bullz). This is a podcast about porn addiction recovery. Here I talk about tips and tricks that can help you on your recovery journey. Ill be sharing my story and the things I've learnt in my own journey as well.

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Ep. 141 - What If 18:57

11h ago18:57

18:57

When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If". Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better l…

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66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession 57:37

5h ago57:37

57:37

Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can: Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life. Feel truly sexually satisfi…

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Ep. 140 - 6 Dumbest Things I've Heard 19:38

6d ago19:38

19:38

I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys. I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more i…

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65: Beat Porn Triggers Using this 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction 34:31

7d ago34:31

34:31

Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?” In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step syst…

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Ep. 139 - Signs of a BaaaaD Recovery Group 14:51

13d ago14:51

14:51

frEver been in a bad recovery group? Ever felt nervous about joining a group because of the many ways it could go wrong? In this episode Vern explores how to tell when a group is toxic and when it is healthy. We are starting up new Finding Traction groups in September 2024. Normally groups are $149/month but if you sign up by August 31 - Vern is of…

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64: The 17 Porn Addiction Symptoms that Porn Addicts and Spouses Should Know 53:29

1d ago53:29

53:29

Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends wh…

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Ep. 138 - Eat Your Frogs 14:54

21d ago14:54

14:54

Have you ever heard of the saying "Eat Your Frogs" I hadn't! But today we talk about an issue that many porn strugglers have embedded in their lives - their propensity to procastinate! Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join u…

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63: Relapse: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach 38:36

20d ago38:36

38:36

You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years …

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Ep. 137 - Relapse After a Long Sobriety 19:08

28d ago19:08

19:08

What if we have a relapse after a long period of sobriety? In this episode Vern shares from his life about how demoralizing this can be but also how to get back up on our feet with the proper perspective. Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to …

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62: Stop Thoughts that Cause Porn Addiction | The 5 Levels of Cognition Behind Porn Cravings 42:56

28d ago42:56

42:56

If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn. A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn. That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re …

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Ep. 136 - Snickers Bars and Marriage Tips 23:05

1M ago23:05

23:05

Ever seen that Snickers Ad - "I'm not myself when I'm hungry"? Today we introduce a marriage tip called Filters that has been of immense benefit to myself. To add a living example I introduce one of my coaching clients, Jim, who has applied this to his marriage. I love to help guys walk away from porn toward a fuller richer live. If you are looking…

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61: Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles 35:55

1M ago35:55

35:55

Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effect…

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60: Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits 55:13

2M ago55:13

55:13

What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to…

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59: 3 Thought Strategies to Prevent Porn Addiction and Cravings 47:02

2M ago47:02

47:02

When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of …

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Ep. 135 - Letter to Me 14:10

2M ago14:10

14:10

What if you could write a letter to the younger version of yourself? What would you say? In this episode Vern introduces the idea of writng a letter to the future you - towards a specific recovery application. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly …

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58: How You Can Enjoy Work More - According to Brain Science | Chris Reavis 1:12:41

2M ago1:12:41

1:12:41

One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships. In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relat…

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Ep. 134 - Its Finally Done! 13:46

3M ago13:46

13:46

Remember what it's like to walk out of the final exam of your degree or finish a project you have been working on for years? Today Vern shares is sense of accomplishment regarding a recovery project he has been laboring over for the last few years. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothe…

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Ep. 133 - Help I Act Out Every ??? Days 18:24

3M ago18:24

18:24

Many guys express that they have noticed that their acting out tends to be cyclical and regular. They often feel that they come up to a wall that they cannot get over in terms of days clean. in this episode Vern talks about how to ovecome these embedded walls that have tripped us up. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear…

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57: The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction 44:29

3M ago44:29

44:29

Do you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?” There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his sp…

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Ep. 132 - I'll Die Without Sex! 14:50

3M ago14:50

14:50

Most peoople who struggle with porn actually believe some version of the mistaken belief "I'll die without sex" In this episode Vern explores how that belief may be closer to home than you care to admit. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly findin…

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Ep. 131 - A Strategy for Sunny Days 18:41

3M ago18:41

18:41

In this episode Vern shares a useful tool to be more strategic in how you handle this coming summer. If you want a copy of this weekly planning tool - as well as a number of other helpful resources you can access this by joining the bandofbrothers.care learning community. Create an account using the following link. If privacy is of concern to you, …

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56: Keys for Confidence, Self-Worth, and Recovery | Mark Collins 56:52

3M ago56:52

56:52

If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life. In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can buil…

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55: 8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn 38:07

3M ago38:07

38:07

Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn. I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction. I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addicti…

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Ep. 130 - Platform Arcade Recovery 18:22

3M ago18:22

18:22

One of the biggest strategic challenges in our recovery is dealing with the many transitions we face. In this episode I look at the challenges of these transitions - both big and small. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups …

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Ep. 129 - The Art of War (Losing and Regaining your Territory) 17:17

3M ago17:17

17:17

Do you ever feel like the enemy is seeking to push past your borders and take ground that should be rightfully yours. Today we use the example of the war in Ukraine as an example of the steps we need to take to regain lost territory in our life. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.…

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54: Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction | Jeanine Gardner 1:43:36

3M ago1:43:36

1:43:36

Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction. In this episode we cove…

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53: "I'm triggered when I see a girl dressed immodestly" | How to overcome triggers and lustful thoughts with ease 50:57

4M ago50:57

50:57

So, you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when BAM a girl walks by in a skimpy outfit. Thoughts of lust, fantasizing, and craving are running through your mind. Or, let’s say, you’re browsing online, minding your own business, when BOOM some ad pops up of women in swimsuits. You’re triggered. And these triggers have started you…

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52: How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps 39:32

4M ago39:32

39:32

It can be so hard to know how to help someone with a porn addiction. We worry deeply for our loved ones. We try so, so hard to “knock some sense into them”; to tell them to get help, or to try and help them ourselves. We talk and talk and talk until we’re blue in the face, attempting to get through. Sometimes, our spouse or child will have moments …

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51: The Porn Addiction Funnel: Why You “Stop Thinking” When Cravings Hit & How To Break the Addiction Cycle 35:05

4M ago35:05

35:05

Do you ever wonder why you get sucked into porn addiction and everything else seems to disappear? You have a million important reasons for quitting porn, but when you get stressed you seem to enter this "funnel" that you can't see outside. It feels almost inevitable that you'll give in. I remember exactly how that was. I dealt with this habit for o…

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50: 3 Mental Habits to Quit Porn: The Recovery Mindset 25:44

4M ago25:44

25:44

So you’ve got this monkey on your back. It keeps interrupting your life. You’ve been taught some mental habits to quit porn, but none of them seem to help. You’re tired of being addicted to porn. It increases your anxiety, it decreases your ability to connect with others, you feel more depressed, you don’t feel as motivated or driven. It’s sucking …

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Ep. 128 - My Favorite Recovery Practice 22:24

4M ago22:24

22:24

My favorite recovery practise is actually an ancient spiritual practise that helps me throughout the day ... it actually was best taught by a Catholic dishwasher hundreds of years ago - take a listen... If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding…

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Ep. 127 - How we do Life 20:36

5M ago20:36

20:36

When most of us started recovery we thought we needed to just tweak a few things so that stopped our problematic porn patterns. What we soon find, however, is that recovery is a window into the disfynctional way we have been doing our lives and a springboard into a whole new set into new life patterns! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to…

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Ep. 126 - Porn Drive versus Sex Drive 27:12

5M ago27:12

27:12

Is our porn drive the same as our sex drive? In this episode Vern explores the differences between the two and how returning to our normal sex drive is the goal of our porn recovery. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups usi…

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49: Porn Addiction is Just a Symptom 21:43

5M ago21:43

21:43

Today I want to talk about a lie that we're told about porn addiction. We're often told that addiction is just a bad habit, that we need to abstain from it, get over our impulsivity, and just say no to the cravings and urges. But let me tell you, that's a bunch of crap. Overcoming porn addiction isn't just about saying no to the habit; it's about d…

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48: How Shame Feeds Porn Addiction & Feeling Bad About Porn Makes You Crave It Even More 29:15

5M ago29:15

29:15

How can feeling bad about porn addiction make you more likely to seek it out? Do you ever wonder how you could possibly want to stop watching porn so bad, yet the worse you feel about it the more you seem to “want” it? Does it seem strange that you could feel so negative about something, and yet crave the heck out of it at the same time? You think,…

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47: Overcome Porn Addiction Using Nutrition | Jordan Gundersen 1:05:37

5M ago1:05:37

1:05:37

Porn addiction is a struggle for many today. Finding ways to break free of porn can feel confusing and overwhelming, as we aren’t sure where to start. One method of overcoming addiction that is gaining traction is nutrition. In episode 47 of No More Desire, hosted by me (Jake Kastleman), we turn the spotlight to the intersection of nutrition, menta…

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Ep. 125 - Recovery Drift 18:13

5M ago18:13

18:13

Anybody who has been at porn recovery for a while can identify with the natural drift that can take place. When we take our hands off the steering wheel - this drift can lead us into the ditch or into oncoming traffic! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer bot…

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46: Things To Do Every Day to Help You Stay Clean 28:07

6M ago28:07

28:07

I recently received this question from one of my listeners: “I’m trying to break free from porn. What are some key things I can do throughout the day so that when it comes to the time I get home I’m not tempted beyond what I can handle? I know the Bible says that I will never be tempted beyond what I can bear but sometimes I feel like I can’t beat …

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Ep. 124 - 3D Relapses 15:16

6M ago15:16

15:16

Most of us would like to reverse engineer our last relapse so it doesn't happen again. In this episode Vern looks at the idea of 3 different dimensions of a relapse and how to reverse anticipate what will take place when we are drawn to porn the next time. In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who su…

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Ep. 123 - Recovery Doldrums 18:03

6M ago18:03

18:03

What happens when life feels "Meh..." Today we talk about the term recovery doldrums - the feeling that you could use a pick me up to compensate for feeling "off". In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month. On the last Sunday night of each month we will be offering our subscri…

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45: How to Stop Cravings & Fantasizing 28:25

6M ago28:25

28:25

Do you wish you felt in control? Are you tired of experiencing porn cravings everyday? Today, we’re going to talk about how to stop cravings and fantasizing so you can overcome porn addiction for good. I remember what it felt like dealing with non-stop cravings and wondering if I’d ever get better. I remember feeling out of control and hopeless. No…

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Ep. 122 - The Critical Stages of Recovery 30:03

6M ago30:03

30:03

Is there as way to look at our recovery in a series of stages. In this episode Vern looks at some of the stages common to recovery, how we can get stuck at any one stage, and how we can proceed to truly walking a life of freedom and blessing. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.car…

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44: Why Porn Addiction Destroys Motivation and What to Do About It 32:04

6M ago32:04

32:04

Today, I’m going to teach you why porn addiction destroys motivation, and what you can do about it. During the decade I struggled with addictions to porn and masturbation, I constantly regretted how I was squandering my potential. I felt like the times I was clean of porn I could do pretty well in life - I was productive in school, at work, my rela…

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43: Ease Stress in 5 Steps 24:11

7M ago24:11

24:11

One of the main reasons that we struggle with porn addiction is we have not yet learned how to manage stress effectively. Managing stress is not an easy task, especially with how many challenging emotions and decisions face us today. Most people are more stressed than they’ve ever been, with the political, economic, and societal context. But all th…

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Ep. 121 - If Relapse is Forgetting then... 19:18

7M ago19:18

19:18

There is a funny super bowl ad that says to remember something you need to forget something. In this podcast Vern talks about the role that forgetting plays in our relapses and the need to bring specific things to mind. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you are …

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42: Dependence, Independence, Interdependence 36:36

7M ago36:36

36:36

Are you trying to quit porn for yourself, or for others? Should you be motivated to stop watching porn for your spouse? Your kids? For another family member or a friend? Sometimes we addicts can rely heavily upon others - to an unhealthy extent. Or, we can completely isolate ourselves, trying to do everything on our own. When it comes to our attitu…

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Ep. 120 - Intensive Recovery with Jonathan Daugherty 26:39

7M ago26:39

26:39

When I tell guys about what caused a tipping point in my recovery - I often forget to include an event that helped cement some of the recovery changes that were happening. In this episode I explore the value of that experience by inviting Daugherty of Be Broken Ministry to discuss what can be an invaluable recovery experience - the Intensive. If yo…

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41: What the Stoics Teach Us About Recovery | Marcus Aurelius and the Meditations 39:44

7M ago39:44

39:44

How can the teachings of the Stoics help us overcome porn addiction? Stoicism is a moral philosophy for how to live a good life. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing stoicism is all about being serious and having no emotion. Being “stoic”, right? This has little to do with what Stoicism actually is. We also make the assumption that stoicism, …

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Ep. 119 - Mission Impossible - Mission Accomplished 17:36

7M ago17:36

17:36

There are two opposite ditches we can get into when we are walkg out our recovery. One is the despair (Mission Impossible) that creeps in when we relapse or fail to live up to the best hopes of our intentions. The other is the over confidence (Mission Accomplished) that we want to leap to when we are having a few good days or weeks! In this episode…

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Ep. 118 - Random Winter Recovery Thoughts 21:14

7M ago21:14

21:14

Being at home on a "snow day" gives you time to think. In this episode Vern talks about how to "keep your road clean" as well as the NFL advice given to it's new rookies "Nothing good happens after midnight". If you want to connect with Vern about the finding traction course, joining one of the Traction groups or just have a zoom call with him to g…

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