Groundbreaking podcast pioneering pivotal conversations about Spiritual Abuse. Interviews with authors, artists, experts, and story tellers to validate the experience of survivors of Spiritual Abuse, providing practical insights for the recovery journey. Your host is Katherine Spearing, a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner with nearly a decade of previous experience working in the evangelical church. This is the affiliate podcast of TearsofEden.org , a nonprofit for community and underst ...
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S5: E16 - The Board Interviews Katherine: Celebrating Five Seasons and 110 Episodes
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The Final Episode of Season Five (and the final episode of Uncertain) is a very special episode. The Board of Directors of Tears of Eden interviews Katherine Spearing, reflecting on the journey of creating five seasons and 110 episodes. They'll discuss: What Katherine is most proud of during the past five seasons How Katherine has navigated carryin…
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S5:E15 - What if I Get Sued? Protecting Yourself When Telling Your Story Featuring Jenai Auman
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This is one of the most important and practical episodes you will likely ever listen to! As more people speak out publicly, sharing their stories of abuse in the church, more and more churches, denominations, and pastors are growing litigious, further abusing victims in civil court. If you're thinking of going public with your story, LISTEN TO THIS…
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S5:E14 - A Recovering Evangelical Testimony Featuring Mattie Jo Cowsert
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Mattie Jo Cowsert was a pastor’s kid and proud purity ring wearer before she moved to New York City and experienced an unexpected worldview and identity implosion thanks to Tinder and her Jewish roommate. When marriage equality passed in 2015, Mattie Jo decided to share how the queer community was one of the catalysts for questioning everything she…
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S5: E13- Addressing Clergy Abuse Featuring Christa Brown
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Described as "the public face" of Baptist clergy sex abuse survivors, Christa Brown was one of the first to go public with substantiated child sex abuse allegations against a Baptist minister and documentation that others knew. Since then, for nearly two decades, she has worked to shine a light on the systemic problem of abuse and cover-ups in Bapt…
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S5: E12 - How Twisted Teaching on Suffering Traps Victims in Abusive Situations Featuring Rebecca Davis
In this episode, we’ll discuss how the church’s common stance on suffering for Christ often gets twisted in such a way that victims feel they cannot leave abusive homes, churches, or jobs. Rebecca Davis is a trauma-informed writer, book coach, speaker, compassionate witness, prayer minister, and lover of Jesus who lives in Greenville, South Carolin…
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S5:E11 - Escaping Christian Patriarchy with Cait West
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Cait West is a writer and editor based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been published in The Revealer, Religion Dispatches, Fourth Genre, and Hawai`i Pacific Review, among others. As an advocate and a survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement, she serves on the editorial board for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit providing resources for survi…
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S5: E10 - Signs of a Cult - with Sarah Edmonson
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We’re talking about how one of the characteristics of a cult is that they often present as a really good thing. A lot of times, they are doing really good things on the surface. If this weren’t the case, people wouldn’t be joining them. Additionally, not every cult starts as a cult. Sometimes it starts as on organization with really good intentions…
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S5:E9 - The Role of Anger in Healing & Empowerment with Dr. Laura Anderson (Most Loved)
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One of our Most Loved episodes from Season Three, exploring common misguided perspectives of anger and how befriending our anger can help us heal. Dr. Laura Anderson is the cofounder of the Religious Trauma Institute, and founder of Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery she’s a licensed therapist, and professor of psychology. Instagram//Faceboo…
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S5:E8 - Stuff Christians Say -with Ashley Love Richards and Fallon Morey
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This episode is with Ashley Love Richards and Fallon Morey, cohosts of TSFU the Podcast Katherine and Fallon play a game with Ashley asking her Christian Clichés to see if she knows what they mean. We also discuss the perspectives Catholics and protestants have of one another, the origin of Alcoholics Anonymous (spoiler, it’s Christian), and whethe…
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S5:E7 - Church Cults, Trauma, and Humor with Shanny Payton
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Shannon Payton (https://shannypantsshow.com/), known as Shanny Pants by many, is a content creator and podcaster living in Rocklin, California. Although Shannon has a successful career as a Realtor, she has equally enjoyed her hobby of sharing her humor through Instagram with friends and family. In 2020 her video about making school lunches went vi…
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S5:E6 - Abuse in the Church: The Role of Sex and Power - with Marie Giffith, PhD
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Marie Griffith, PhD, John C. Danforth Distinguished Professor in the Humanities at Washington University in St. Louis. She served for 12 years (2011-2023) as the director of the John C. Danforth Center on Religion and Politics and the editor of the Center’s journal, Religion & Politics. Her research focuses on American Christianity, including the c…
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S5:E5 - The Stigmatized Single Person (And How to Thrive Anyway) with Katherine Spearing
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Brian Lee, from Through Cohort and Broken to Beloved Summit interviews Tears of Eden’s Founder Katherine Spearing about the Church’s harmful teachings on marriage that can result in very real trauma—for single and married people. Uncertain is a podcast of Tears of Eden, a community and resource for those in the aftermath of Spiritual Abuse. If you’…
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S5:E4 - Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month: Thriving After Spiritual Abuse - with Connie Baker
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Connie Baker, LPC author of Traumatized by Religious Abuse and a therapist who works with survivors of religious trauma, joins Uncertain to discuss what thriving might look like after Spiritual Abuse. This is a nuanced subject, intended to provide hope (not pressure!). Thank you for joining us for Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month in 2024! Uncertain …
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S5:E3 - Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month: How Purity Culture Impacts Men - with Julia and Jeremiah from the Sexvangelicals
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Julia and Jeremiah from the Sexvangelicals podcast (a podcast for providing the sex education the church didn’t want you to have) join Uncertain podcast to discuss how Purity Culture can impact men. Some topics addressed in this episode: Erectile Disfunction Shame around sex Sexual Agression Gender Binaries Check out two of the Sexvangelicals' epis…
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S5:E2 - Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month: What Survivors Need from a Therapist - with Rachel Bernstein
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Rachel Bernstein LMFT, MSEd from the IndoctriNation podcast discusses what it’s like working with survivors from high-control groups. This episode is for survivors looking for a mental health professional or for mental health professionals looking to work with the demographic of survivors of cults, high-control groups, and spiritual abuse. Universi…
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S5:E1 - Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month: You Are Not Broken - with Brian Lee
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Brian Lee shares his personal story of experiencing spiritual abuse and what led him to start Broken to Beloved, an online summit and support resource for survivors. Register for the Broken to Beloved Summit January 23-26, 2024 HERE Brian Lee is a pastor, coach, and speaker. As a survivor of spiritual abuse and religious trauma, he has spent his ti…
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S4: E24 - The F Word (On Forgiveness) Season Finale with Connie Baker
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Forgiveness has often been used in the church to sideline and silence victims, either by perpetrators intent on controlling their victims or by systems of people who believe they’re doing the right thing. Connie Baker, author of Traumatized by Religious Abuse and a therapist who works with survivors of religious trauma, joins Katherine for this imp…
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S4: E23 - On the Murder of Elizabeth Mackintosh at Covenant Theological Seminary with Karl Saint Lucy
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This episode discusses the brutal murder of Elizabeth Mackintosh on the campus of Covenant Theological Seminary in 1990. It also discusses an entire denomination’s apparent erasure of women. Karl Saint Lucy is a songwriter, composer, and vocalist living in The Bronx. Karl's father, Michael Johnson, is the prime suspect in the unsolved 1990 murder o…
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S4: E22- Is There Really a Gay Agenda? (And Other Questions) with Bridget Eileen Rivera
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Bridget Eileen Rivera is a sociologist completing her Ph.D. at the City University of New York Graduate Center. Her first book, Heavy Burdens (Brazos Press, fall 2021), is a Foreward INDIES 2022 Finalist for religion. Providing an honest account of seven ways LGBTQ people experience discrimination in the church, Heavy Burdens helps Christians acros…
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S4: E21 -The Problem with Modesty Talks (And Other Concerns) with Sheila Wray Gregoire
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Armed with data from an all-new survey of more than 7,000 women, the authors of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky, reveal how experiences in church as teens affect women's self-esteem and relationships today in their new book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on S…
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S4: E20 -The Healing Power of Art (Through Musical) with Teruyo and Lennox
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Two ex-cult members discuss the healing power of art through the creation of a musical. Teruyo (they/them) is a racialized queer, mentally disabled, non-binary theatre artist, anti-oppression activist and graduate student in theatre. Teruyo's encounter with cults and the aftermath of manipulative mind games has fueled their drive to delve into heal…
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S4: E19 - Second Wave Fundamentalism with Dr. Laura Anderson
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Second Wave Fundamentalism is a term acknowledging that we can leave fundamentalist spaces, but they do not always leave us. How do we recognize when we are creating the same pattern—and the same spaces—we tried to leave behind? And how do we care for ourselves, and our own trauma healing, so we don’t migrate toward, and recreate, the unsafe commun…
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S4:E18 - On the Intersection of Faith, Sex, and Politics with Anna Beahm
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Anna Beahm is a Journalist with Reckon.News who has been covering the intersection of faith, s*x and politics since December 2020. In this episode, we discuss the complexity of covering these typically emotionally charged subjects. We also discuss how Anna’s story of growing up in conservative evangelicalism informs her reporting. Sign up for Anna’…
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S4: E17 - Because She Was a Girl: On the Experiences of Women in the Church with Megan Kenyon
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When Megan Kenyon’s niece was born it propelled her on a journey of exploring the messages she received from the church about being a woman, culminating in an art showcase featuring the church experiences of 22 women across generations and denominations. The findings were remarkable (but probably not surprising). Find photos of the showcase mention…
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Celebrating Three Years of Uncertainty: 3rd Anniversary Episode (On May 30th, 2023, Seasons 1 & 2 will be archived) Transcript: I’m Katherine Spearing and welcome to Uncertain, an affiliate podcast of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of Spiritual Abuse, if you’d like to support this podcast and the work of Tears of Eden, consider giv…
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S4: E14 - Can You Be Codependent on God? with Catherine Quiring
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In this episode with therapist Catherine Quiring, we discuss how teaching in the church might set us up for anxious attachment to God, and the implications of this in our recovery from religious trauma. Helpful links from Catherine: https://www.cqcounseling.com/freebies https://www.cqcounseling.com/courses REGISTER FOR RETREATCON Uncertain is a pod…
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S4:E13 - Singleness, Dating, and Weird Stuff Christians Say with Kristina Hart
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In this Episode with comedian Kristina Hart, we discuss the hilarity of learning how to date as an adult after you’ve grown up swimming in the waters of Purity Culture. Kristina is a faith-informed writer, speaker, comic, host, and popular online persona. The spirited voice behind The DTR Blog and now the That’s Super Weird Podcast, and Harts Break…
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S4: E12 Untwisting Teachings Around Loyalty, Sin Leveling, & Bitterness with Rebecca Davis
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In this episode with Rebecca Davis we unpack the teachings that are used in churches to make all sins equal force us to “err on the side of grace” when it comes to abuse elevate loyalty above all else and much more! Rebecca Davis is a writer, book coach, speaker, wife, mother, grandmother, compassionate witness, prayer minister, advocate for the op…
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S4: E11 - Invisibility in the Church that was Meant for All with Francina Kahl
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Francina Kahl is the founder and CEO of Be Still Tea, a tea company that encourages stillness, creating space for our stories, and connecting with others and ourselves. In this episode we discuss: Invisibility and otherness in the church The importance of being able to sit with our own stories so we can sit with the stories of others Racial trauma …
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S4:E10 - An Adoptee’s Journey of Self-Discovery with Harrison Mooney
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Harrison Mooney’s memoir Invisible Boy isn’t just a story of the experience growing up in an abusive, fundamentalist Christian household, it’s also the story of growing up in that space as an adoptee with parents who were a different race. Harrison Mooney is an award-winning writer and journalist from Vancouver. Prior to penning his debut memoir, H…
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S4: E9 - The Ongoing, Dehumanizing Legacy of the Doctrine of Discovery with Mark Charles
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Mark Charles is a speaker, writer, and consultant. The son of an American woman (of Dutch heritage) and a Navajo man, Mark teaches the complexities of American history regarding race, culture, and Christendom in order to help forge a path of healing and conciliation for the nation. In 2012, Mark hosted a public reading at the US Capitol of the buri…
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S4:E8 - The Myths of Purity Culture with Lucy Rowett
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Lucy Rowett is a sex and intimacy coach for smart, passionate, and soulful women and vulva owners. She’s a sex geek and passionately believes that your pleasure is your birthright. In this episode we discuss the myths (lies) we were told about our bodies, sex, and sexuality through Purity Culture. Find out: · Does sex really create a soul tie? · Ar…
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S4:E7 - Trauma and Purity Culture with Lucy Rowett
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Lucy Rowett is a sex and intimacy coach for smart, passionate, and soulful women and vulva owners. She’s a sex geek and passionately believes that your pleasure is your birthright. In this episode: How purity culture impacts our view of our bodies How purity culture impacts our view of our sexuality How the trauma from purity culture can show up du…
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S4:E6 - Power and Control in Spiritual Abuse with Connie Baker (A Most Loved Episode)
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Today’s guest, Connie Baker, will be our Speaker at the RetreatCon and we are excited to introduce her to you. What we appreciate most about Connie is she is gifted at meeting survivors of Spiritual Abuse wherever they are at on their faith journey, whether they wish to retain connection to faith or not and all the places in between. It’s what Tear…
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S4: E5 - Trauma in the Pews with Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D
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New episode out today, discussing with Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D., her book Trauma in the Pews In this episode we discuss: How trauma impacts a person’s interaction with the church and spirituality How the church often unknowingly re-traumatizes survivors The potential danger for putting knowledge about trauma in the hands of ministry leaders Janyn…
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S4:E4- BITE Model and the Christian Patriarchy Movement with Cait West
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Yes, it’s an episode about abuse, and the cultish upbringing of the stay-at-home-daughter movement (aka Christian Patriarchy Movement), but you might find yourself laughing along with us at the absurdities of things we once believed. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in. In this episode we discuss how God and the Bible were used to control: Our Behav…
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S4:E3 - Encountering an Abusive Church After Growing up in an Abusive Home with Nikki G. and Sarah Yaw
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Today's guests are Nikki G and Sarah Yaw. Nikki and Sarah are both colleagues in the spiritual abuse recovery realm and work as trauma recovery coaches. This is a round table discussion to highlight how someone who grew up in an abusive home might interact with the experience of encountering an abusive church in adulthood. In this episode we discus…
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S4:E2 - Spiritual Abuse & Parenting with Ginny Barker
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It’s Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month. Ginny Barker opens up about how many Christian parents have been raised to spiritually abuse their children. However, often the parents themselves are spiritually abused. Resources named in this episode: Attached to God Trauma in the Pews Tears of Eden Review Confessions of a Christian Parent Podcast Collaborat…
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S4:E1 - Spiritual Abuse in Church of the Highlands with Liz Leiby
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It’s Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month. This first episode of season 4 features Liz Leiby, discussing her letter An Open Letter to Church of the Highlands Ministry School In this episode we discuss: Spiritual abuse in ministry schools Spiritual abuse in evangelicalism Ableism Fatphobia Healing through creativity Podcast Collaboration Form https://www…
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S3:E18 - The Role of Anger in Healing & Empowerment with Dr. Laura Anderson (Season Finale)
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Dr. Laura Anderson is the cofounder of the Religious Trauma Institute, and founder of Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery she’s a licensed therapist, and professor of psychology. Instagram//Facebook: @drlauraeanderson Support Groups https://www.tearsofeden.org/support-groups Podcast Collaboration Form https://www.tearsofeden.org/form Uncertai…
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S3:E17 - The Dynamics of Abuse with Polly & Bob Hamp
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In this episode with Polly Hamp and Bob Hamp we discuss the dynamics of abuse, the difference between being abuse informed and trauma informed, navigating when abusers are posing as advocates on social media, and narcissistic abuse. Polly and Bob Hamp are the owners and visionaries behind the Think Differently Center. They have enjoyed blending the…
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S3: E16 - When is it a Cult? with Gerette Buglion & Lisa from igotout.org
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Discussing the difference between a cult and a high control environment and the fine line between them. Addressing different tactics cult leaders use to control and how we reconnect with our core self after we’ve gotten out. Gerette Buglion is the co-founder of igotout.org, and is a spokesperson for the #igotout movement, co-manages day to day oper…
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S3:E15 - How to Tell Your Story with Jennifer Wainscott
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This is a great episode for the trauma survivor who is beginning to share their story with the world. Who do you share it with? What elements are important? And what places and spaces might not be equipped to receive the story? Jennifer Wainscott is a licensed professional counselor in St. Louis, MO. She is also the creator and founder of St. Louis…
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S3:E13 - Abuse in Churches with Mike Sloan (A Most Loved Episode)
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This is one of our Most Loved episodes from Uncertain Featuring Mike Sloan from netgrace.org Resources mentioned in this episode: tearsofeden.org netgrace.org DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." From Jennifer Freyd Protecting the Gift Mike’s Recommended Resources: On all forms of abuse: The Cry of Tamar: Violence again…
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S3:E12 - Characteristics of a Toxic Faith System with Lauren Hunter
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Lauren Hunter is the author of the book Leaving Christian Science and is a former Christian Scientist (not to be confused with scientology). She’s also had a long relationship with the evangelical church. We discuss the 10 characteristics of a toxic faith system comparing christian science and evangelicalism. Kingdom of the cults Steve Hassan BITE …
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S3: E11 - Church, Abuse of Power, and Jesus with Diane Langberg (A Most Loved Episode)
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This is one of our Most Loved episodes. Diane Langberg has been a huge voice in understanding abuse, abuse in churches, and sexual abuse. She’s a psychologist, writer, speaker, and sits on the Board of GRACE, Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment. Most of us who are survivors of Spiritual Abuse or abuse in churches eventually find ou…
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S3:E10 - A Novelist Tells the Truth with Lauren McBrayer
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Today’s guest is author and lawyer Lauren McBrayer. In this episode, we address women in the church, the power of narrative and storytelling, exploring sexuality through writing, and the embodied and healing experience of creating art. Sermon mentioned in this episode Like a House on Fire Contact Tears of Eden tearsofeden.org@gmail.com Support Unce…
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S3:E9 - Was Jesus Sexually Abused? with Keanu Heydari
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Keanu Heydari is a doctoral candidate at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. He studies migration and race in Europe. He’s also interested in New Testament studies, social justice, and amplifying the voices of the marginalized in the church. TW: for this episode, as it addresses some difficult subjects, including sexual abuse. Here is Keanu’s ar…
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S3:E8 - The Church, Divorce, & Abusive Marriage with Natalie Hoffman
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This episode is a little different than our normal interview style. Guest is Natalie Hoffman from the Flying Free podcast, but throughout the episode, we’re also going to hear real stories from women who have gone through the experience of abusive marriage and divorce and who experienced the church not only as unsupportive, but also abusive in its …
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S3:E7 - The Jesus Way with Mark Scandrette
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Mark Scandrette is an internationally recognized expert in practical spiritual formation. He is the founding director of ReIMAGINE: A Center for Integral Christian Practice, where he leads an annual series of retreats, workshops and projects designed to help participants apply spiritual wisdom to everyday life. His multidisciplinary studies in appl…
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