Neurodiversity and Friendships

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode #110: "Neurodivergent friending"

Thrilled to welcome Dr. James F. Richardson, author of Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents, who explains how his neurodivergent friend difficulties inspired a deeper exploration of, "how our American value of self-reliant individualism encourages us to be way too independent, undermining many relationships, including our friendships."

Listeners will appreciate James's sense of humor, heart, and practical tips for understanding each of our friends as individuals and considering the people in our community who could use an invitation.

James, like many GenX neurodivergent people, had no diagnoses until later in adult life. He says, "In writing my recent book, I step back and connect disparate laments in public discourse (weak community, weak friendships, weak family ties, shallow approaches to fun and dating, junk food, impulse-driven diets) back to our very American, hyper-individualistic approach to life in general. We are settlers on our own personal frontiers, I like to say. We curate, personalize, and edit everything. And it's not working out too well for many of us—this unstructured, de-ritualized life of infinite opportunity and lonely stumbling. We try hard to curate our social worlds as executive editor instead of letting them build through giving and receiving our time organically. I was the worst at this in my twenties. I curated an austere, monkish life that was not good for me or anyone. Monks have far more community than I experienced! And more friends!"

Meet James F. Richardson:

James F. Richardson is a Ph.D. cultural anthropologist who has studied American society for twenty years as a market research consultant. Recently, the author of a new nonfiction book – Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents - questions our approach to individualism as a way of life. He lives in Tucson, Arizona, where he writes a weekly Substack — Homo Imaginari — for a growing international readership.

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