Ep 33 – Staying in John Wayne’s Sex Dojo (Bucket List #7: The Los Flamingos)

Workationing

The ladies are having a hell of a time in Acapulco, and not in the good way. To escape from their Airbnb compound for a couple of days, they decided to hit up the local hotspot all of the cab drivers keep telling them about: The Los Flamingos Resort, which was once owned by John Wayne. The entire hotel is pink, kitschy and everything Kari’s ever dreamed of in a throwback resort.

Formerly referred to as Hollywood Gang Hideaway (from 1950-1984), the resort – and in particular, Casa Tarzan, the standalone round house on the property – was frequented by the likes of Cary Grant, Farrah Fawcett, Joan Collins, Errol Flynn, George Hamilton, Roy Rogers and lots of other Old Hollywood royalty. Johnny Weissmueller, the actor who played Tarzan, lived in the house named after him until he died. Hopefully not in the actual Casa Tarzan, but that was never made entirely clear.

You can still feel the Old Hollywood glam as you walk around the place, and there are placards with stories and photos of the celebrities who used to party HARD at the Los Flamingos. The hotel is like a time capsule of days long gone, and the celebrities who came to this hotel put Acapulco on the map as a THE place for the rich and famous to go on vacation. In turn, that attracted more regular tourists...for a time, at least.

Obviously a Quadruple Junior Suite Deluxe ($76/night) wasn’t bucket list-y enough for a stay at the Los Flamingos, so the Gringas went big and sprung for a night in Casa Tarzan ($150/night). Once they got a tour of the resort and Casa Tarzan, the Gringas were SOLD – and not just on the wraparound windows and gorgeous views.

Without a doubt, some VERY sexy shenanigans went down at Casa Tarzan back in the day. If the building’s architecture and design are any indication, John Wayne and his friends must’ve been real sex fiends. The circular house is bifurcated down the middle, with the left half split into two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a small kitchenette.

The rest of the house is dedicated to the living room, which is what makes Casa Tarzan what it is: incredible. There’s a platform bed that’s built into the living room, and there’s a wraparound spectator couch that seats 12, uh, spectators. A hammock is slung between the bed and the couch, but doesn’t obstruct the view. This living room isn’t a living room at all, it’s a fuck dojo the likes of which the ladies had never seen before.

A coco loco after checking into the Old Hollywood sex dojo, the ladies are swimming in the kidney-shaped pool, taking in a sunset from the inside of a dragon’s mouth and overall blissed out...until night falls and the horror show begins.

It starts with bugs so big it’s a real mystery how they’re also able to fly – and they’re INSIDE the house with the Gringas. Before the bug situation starts to get really out of control, the roving pack of dogs show up and start running laps around the circle of the wraparound porch. They’re still out there when the bugs start to exponentially multiply, but the dude at the front desk is not.

The mattresses at Casa Tarzan are not to be missed, mostly because you can’t escape the smell of them if you tried. It’s entirely possible that the mattresses in Casa Tarzan are the originals that John Wayne and his friends got down on, and while Kari was got sick over the scent of guests from the past Kelly received dozens of bug bites on her back. At least, the ladies are hoping those are bug bites, and not some sort of rash that will require hospital attention.

Through a series of events that aren’t up to code (namely, the resort didn’t take a credit card or payment upon entry, only exit, and there wasn’t a night manager), the ladies ended up stuck in a Technicolor dream turned nightmare.

To get a tour of Casa Tarzan, check out Workationing on Patreon (link below), where you can see additional videos and pics of Kari, Kelly and their adventures.

Resource links for this episode:

https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2006/apr/15/mexico.guardiansaturdaytravelsection

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128985632

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