226. Ilk-Action Lawsuit

Topic Lords

Lords:

• Ryan
• Alexander

Topics:

• Getting so agitated that you cook dinner
• What's an acquired taste that's worth acquiring? What's one that's not worth the effort? What's the point of even "acquiring" a taste for anything when there are probably infinite options you don't have to teach yourself to enjoy?
• Texturally enhanced alternative beverage
• Bagme Bloma
  • https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Bagme_Bloma

Microtopics:

• How the science gets done.
• Measuring the height of a flagpole by measuring its shadow.
• Using calculus to find the surface area of a potato.
• Measuring and re-measuring until you get the result you want.
• Confronting your professor about their involvement in Frog Fractions 2.
• Country and Western music fused with synth heavy prog rock.
• Using the gun to parallel park.
• That time Ryan died while recording Topic Lords.
• Getting so agitated that you do some differential equations.
• New guy just dropped: guy who whenever he thinks about death he has to make a sandwich.
• The first step towards rejecting a task: assessing the task.
• Today is a good day to fill your Prius with snakes.
• The Raccoon Prius story.
• Hilarious mothers.
• The inside of a Prius: nothing but corners.
• Officer, it's not what you think. No, not that either.
• Putting the AC on so the python in the back seat gets sluggish.
• Getting a fork and spoon and twirling up snakes like spaghetti.
• A taste worth busting your ass for.
• An oral history of tricking alcohol post your tongue.
• An entire generation that has never had to work to enjoy things because there are so many things that are easy to enjoy.
• Twelve year olds from Alabama calling you a cuck.
• New ideas that you haven't been thinking of even without looking at your phone.
• Hiking: it's just hard walking.
• Getting so agitated that you developed a taste for hiking.
• The guy in the Fred Meyer buying Reese's cups while wearing a tuxedo.
• The Men's Wearhome.
• The Men's Wearhouse employee who is not allowed to tell you that they don't have anything for fat people so he brings out less and less flattering outfits until you take the hint.
• Orbitz. (The soft drink from 1996.)
• A proto-boba.
• Drinking a random test tube from a bioengineering lab.
• What if everyone had a number floating above their heads that represented the number of times they had to drink Orbitz before they developed a taste for Orbitz and now that Orbitz is out of production everyone's number stays the same forever
• Big Dick's Energy.
• Flavor-blasted slushies.
• The sense-horror of drinking an Orbitz.
• Shelf-stable tapioca pearls.
• A free-to-play game for your tongue.
• Texturally subdued beverages.
• Decaf Red Bull.
• The hypothetical beverage enthusiast who wants a decaf Red Bull.
• How to make Orbitz in your toilet.
• How many Orbitz you have to drink to reach Nirvana.
• eBay sellers insisting that you don't drink the thirty year old novelty beverage they're selling you.
• Thinking a poem is a Middle Earth thing but it's actually a regular Earth thing.
• Poetry that is alliterative rather than rhyming.
• Making art by fucking around with a new medium.
• Music in a foreign language.
• What Simlish sounds like in different languages.
• A quest to discover why they started dotting the letter Y.
• Expecting scrolls in 3 to 5 days.

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