What’s “normal” in a stepfamily?

Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

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Since most of us have never been stepparents before, learning to recognize what's typical for life in a stepfamily vs. what's a red flag is a bit of a learning curve.

For example, it’s normal for your stepkids to act out because they're kids and life in two homes is tough and they don’t like a stepparent’s rules. It’s even normal for your stepkids to not want you around whatsoever. But it’s a red flag if your stepkid is acting out because your partner’s ex is actively turning them against you.

Or to take another example, last-minute schedule changes between houses is frustrating for sure, but there’s a big difference between a last-minute scramble due to life being a normal level of messy and unpredictable compared to reluctantly agreeing to schedule changes cause the ex is bullying you or your partner, or they’re withholding visitation.

Either way, blending your family will take time and a lot of education and re-education: for yourself, your partner, and your stepkids. And through the process of learning what normal stepfamily dynamics look like, you’ll also learn what’s not typical. Which is equally important, because if the ex is high conflict, that really changes the way you need to approach blending.

Here’s a great place to start: ➡️ HELP FOR HIGH CONFLICT 👀

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