Two Ex Avoidants Talk About Having A Phantom Ex | Can This Be Fixed?

The Thais Gibson Podcast

In this episode of Can This Be Fixed?, hosts Thais Gibson and Mike Di Zio dive deep into the complexities of attachment styles, particularly focusing on the dynamics of dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant attachment styles. Drawing from personal experiences and professional insights, they explore the challenges of navigating relationships, the concept of "phantom exes," and the often overlooked inner struggles of those with avoidant tendencies.

Mike shares his journey from being a dismissive avoidant to becoming secure, offering a unique perspective on what it's like to look back on past relationships with a new understanding. Thais, on the other hand, provides valuable insights into the fearful avoidant experience, discussing the ambivalence and challenges that come with deepening commitment in relationships.

Listeners will gain a better understanding of how unmet needs, defense mechanisms, and communication patterns play crucial roles in shaping relationships. The hosts also tackle a question from their Reddit thread about the best way to suggest learning about attachment styles to a partner without triggering defensiveness or shutting down communication.

Whether you're new to the concept of attachment styles or have been exploring them for a while, this episode offers practical advice, heartfelt stories, and strategies to foster healthier, more secure relationships. Tune in to learn how to identify and work through these attachment patterns for a more fulfilling connection with yourself and others.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro

01:23 - Regret & Going Back to an Ex (Mike)

05:06 - Mike Now, in Secure Attachment

07:06 - Regret & Going Back to an Ex (Thais)

10:41 - Thais Now, in Secure Attachment

13:13 - Avoidants & Friends with Benefits

15:08 - Supporting FA Partners Who Fear Commitment

18:26 - Supporting DA Partners Who Fear Commitment

23:12 - 7-Day Free Trial: All Access Membership Pass

24:31 - Did Mike Have a Phantom Ex When He Was DA?

27:13 - Does Mike Have a Phantom Ex Now as a Secure Attachment?

28:52 - Being Friendly with Exes (Mike)

35:18 - Did Thais Have a Phantom Ex When She Was FA?

39:07 - Has Thais Dated Anyone Who Had a Phantom Ex?

43:37 - Mint Mobile

44:50 - Quince

46:46 - Reddit Question

47:25 - Mike’s Response

50:28 - Being Introduced to Attachment Theory (Mike)

53:25 - Being Introduced to Attachment Theory (Thais)

56:42 - Changing Others Isn’t the Answer

1:00:00 - Find More Mike DiZio Content

1:01:59 - Conclusion

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