Life After Infertility: 10 Common Struggles and How to Move Beyond Them

The "So Now What?" Podcast

If you’re childless after infertility treatments, you are not alone, even though it might feel like you are. In this episode, I open up about my personal journey through seven years of fertility treatments, only to end up without the child I dreamed of. I know firsthand how devastating and isolating this experience can be. What most women don’t realize is that these feelings—grief, confusion, loss of purpose—are prevalent among women who have undergone IVF or fertility treatments without having a child.

But here’s the truth: most fertility clinics don’t offer the support or resources to help you make sense of life after treatments. We’re left to navigate this uncharted, unexpected path without guidance. That’s where today’s episode comes in. I’ll walk you through the 10 most common struggles women face after unsuccessful fertility treatments, and more importantly, I’ll show you how you can begin to shift your perspective so these struggles no longer define your life.

Key Points from This Episode

1. Grief and Loss

Grieving after infertility is specific and complex.Grieving the loss of your dream of motherhood is deep and often unacknowledged by others. It doesn’t have to define you forever.

2. Identity and Purpose

When motherhood doesn’t happen, it can feel like you’ve lost your identity. But there is so much more to you than the title of “mom.” You can redefine your life and find purpose in a way that is fulfilling.

3. Feelings of Failure

It’s easy to feel like your body failed you, but infertility is not your fault. Learning to release self-judgment is crucial to moving forward and finding peace.

4. Compassion and Jealousy

Seeing friends and family share milestones with their children can lead to feelings of comparison and jealousy. But you can release those feelings and celebrate your own unique journey.

5. Isolation

Infertility and childlessness can be isolating. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Finding a community that truly understands what you’re going through is important.

6. Relationships with Partners

Infertility puts a strain on relationships, but it’s possible to reconnect with your partner in a deeper way once you release the weight of grief.

7. Navigating Friendships

Being the only childless friend in your circle can feel isolating, but your friendships can evolve, and you can still find meaningful connection.

8. Cultural and Social Expectations

Society places a lot of pressure on women to find purpose in motherhood. However, you define your own success, and it doesn’t have to include children.

9. Uncertainty About the Future

When your future no longer includes children, it can feel like you’ve lost direction. But you can create a new vision for your life that feels exciting and full of possibility.

10. Fear of Aging Alone

The fear of growing old without children is real, but you can build meaningful relationships and a support system that gives you love and care throughout your life.

Why This Episode Matters:

The feelings you’re experiencing after leaving fertility treatments without a child are not unique to you. They are incredibly common, yet rarely talked about. Most fertility clinics don’t provide resources for women in this situation, which leaves us feeling alone. But you don’t have to stay stuck in these feelings forever. There is a way to shift your perspective and move from merely surviving to thriving.

In this episode, I share how the women I’ve helped through my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind have shifted their lives from being consumed by grief and loss to feeling fulfilled and hopeful for the future. As someone with an advanced certification in grief and post-traumatic growth, I understand the weight you’re carrying, and I’m here to help you transform your life.

Resources Mentioned:

Thrive After Infertility: A 12-week coaching program for women who are childless after infertility, and craving a sisterhood with women who are ready to thrive and feel fulfilled without the children you always dreamed of

-Free Thrive Call: Ready to explore what’s next for you? Let’s get on a free call and create a plan that helps you move forward.

- Free Resource: Grab my free guide, *“The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond”*.

Join the Conversation

Have you experienced any of these struggles? How are you working through them? Connect with me on Instagram @lana.manikowski and let’s continue this important conversation. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.