E. 5 People Pleasing

That's So Deep

Hello So Deep Peeps!

Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. This is the second of a two part episode on BOUNDARIES and PEOPLE PLEASING. If you missed the first episode on BOUNDARIES, feel free to go back and listen to it. In today’s episode, we tackle the topic of PEOPLE PLEASING.

Some deep things we cover:

1. What is People Pleasing? - Phyllis and Julie discuss whether or not they are people pleasers. Any guesses?
2. Back Talk vs. Self Advocacy - How Phyllis allows her kids to negotiate with her and sometimes has flexible boundaries.
3. Being honest vs. making excuses - Why do we do that?
4. Phyllis and Julie go through 10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser (Psychology Today) - See if you relate! Find out which mannerism Julie has picked up from Phyllis :)
5. False Choice - Dry hamburger or refreshing sushi? How false choice sets us up to become people pleasers.
6. Borrowed Beliefs - Uncovering how much of our childhood and adulthood is about pleasing our parents and learning how to find out who we are and what we want as humans.

Take-aways:

Beliefs List - Take a piece of paper and divide it into 3 columns. In the first column, write down BORROWED BELIEFS. In the second column write down DEVELOPING BELIEFS. And in the third, write down ACTUAL BELIEFS. Take a moment to think about the beliefs you were raised with and write them down in the first column. Now, think about your actual beliefs that you hold true for yourself and write them down in the third column. And for any beliefs that are still evolving, write those down in the second column. What did you learn about yourself while doing this exercise? Were there any surprises? Call us or write to us and let us know!

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We love you and can’t wait for our next deep conversation!

Yours in Becoming,

Phyllis and Julie

Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:

1. People pleaser Definition & Meaning from Merriam Webster.
2. “Thank you for waiting” vs. “I’m sorry I’m late”: We pulled this idea from Kristen Bell and Monica Padman’s podcast called We Are Supported By.
3. Disappointing ourselves or disappointing others: Glennon Doyle has very developed and thoughtful ideas surrounding disappointment. You can hear more of her thoughts on her podcast We Can Do Hard Things.
4. 10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser: This is the article from Psychology Today that we were referencing.