E. 22 - Toxic Positivity
Manage episode 326364478 series 3002985
Hello So Deep Peeps!
Welcome to That’s So Deep. This is the podcast where we try to root out loneliness one conversation at a time. We discuss topics that help us connect more deeply with ourselves and with those we care about because we believe that connection is the antidote to a lonely heart. Today we are talking about Toxic Positivity (based on the work by Susan David in Emotional Agility).
Some deep things we cover:
- The “Everything Happens for a Reason” Mantra: In an effort to make people feel better with phrases like this one, we actually make people feel worse by trivializing their pain.
- Myths and Truths about Unpleasant Emotions:
- Myth: Unpleasant Emotions are Something to “Get Over.” If you’re not happy then you’re doing it wrong. Unpleasant emotions are an obstacle to perpetual joy.
- Truth: Unpleasant Emotions Contain Beacons of Meaning. We are hardwired to feel unpleasant emotions. It is 100% human. Unpleasant emotions point us towards what we value most.
- “Emotions are Information. They are NOT Directives.” - Susan David: Emotions don’t own you. You own them.
- Ditch Bottling and Brooding. Embrace CURIOSITY. Getting curious is a healthy way to interact with your feelings. There is rich learning to be had when you ask why.
Take-aways:
- Hold up there, Little Miss Sunshine: Allow space for folks who are feeling it without jumping in with our toxically positive statements. Be a good listener.
- Feel It All but You ARE NOT the Feeling: Remember that emotions are information, not directives. You are in control and the feelings can help guide you.
- Get Down to the Granular Level: The more specific you are, the more information you get about what you care about.
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Yours in Becoming,
Phyllis & Julie
Resources and articles we referenced in the episode:
- What Is Toxic Positivity?
- 'Toxic Positivity' Is Real — and It's a Big Problem During the Pandemic
- The Dangers of Toxic Positivity, Part 1 of 2 - Brené Brown
- Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage | TED Talk
- When The Body Says No – Chapter One - Dr. Gabor Maté
- Inside Out (2015 film) - Wikipedia
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