Accountability is Sexier Than it Sounds

Romancipation

S3 Episode 11: Accountability is Sexier Than it Sounds

Episode Summary

Accountability in a relationship is often overlooked, and yet it is a crucial aspect to a healthy partnership. When two people decide to be accountable to one another it builds trust, intimacy and security. Accountability should be a two-way street. Both partners need to clearly define the expectations of their relationship and make a commitment to honor those expectations.
When there is accountability in a relationship, each individual is making a conscious effort to not violate the mutually agreed upon terms. A partner that sticks to their word is demonstrating respect for their partner as well as the relationship. By owning the consequences of your words and actions, you signal maturity, empathy and self-awareness.
Do not accept a relationship where your partner violates prior commitments and then refuses to take ownership of the consequences caused by their behavior. Practice self-preservation and walk away from these selfish and self-centered individuals.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when a person enables their partner’s addiction or mental illness.

Show Notes

So many people feel like accountability is corporate in nature, but the reality is, accountability is sexy. The 3 C’s of accountability are clarity, commitment, and consequences. You need to be clear on your boundaries and expectations from your partner and the relationship. You both also need to agree on the terms of your commitments.
You also need to account for the consequences of your actions and decisions. When you honor your agreement, it develops trust and intimacy between you and your partner. For example, if you both agree on your spending and stick to it, it increases the strength of your relationship.
Accountability also reinforces security. It shows you can trust that your partner will follow through on what they say they will do. It brings a sense of comfort to the relationship you might not have otherwise. Conversely, when you don’t do what you said you would, it can hurt the relationship.
It’s not about your partner telling you what to do or not to do just for the sake of it. These are reciprocal agreements you make with your chosen partner. Generally, people who choose not to be accountable are selfish and self-centered.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When someone enables their partner’s mental illness or addiction without getting them help. This is a serious and very frustrating situation. Making excuses for harmful behavior makes the behavior seem like it’s acceptable when it’s not. It’s not a sign of love, it’s a sign of co-dependency. If you know someone is suffering, it’s imperative to get them professional help.
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