109: The Power of a Loving Glance in Reconnection After a Long Break

Play Therapy Community

Podcast Episode: The Power of First Connection After a Long Break

Welcome back to the Play Therapy Community Podcast. Today, we’re focusing on an essential topic that child therapists can use in their own lives and when working with parents and families: the importance of those first moments when reconnecting with a child after a long break. Whether it’s been a day, a week, or longer, the way we reconnect carries deep, lasting messages for children. I want to share three key points that child therapists can apply to their work with families, emphasizing the importance of greeting children with love and warmth to help shape how they see themselves and the world.

1. Facial Expressions Communicate Deep Messages Facial expressions are one of the most powerful ways we communicate with children. In those first moments of reconnection, parents’ faces tell their children how they are seen and valued. When parents greet their children with love and warmth, they’re sending a message that says, “You matter. You are safe. You are loved.” On the flip side, if disappointment or frustration shows through, it can have an entirely different impact, often being internalized by the child and affecting how they see themselves. As therapists, we can guide parents to be mindful of how their facial expressions are a mirror that reflects back their child’s sense of worth.

2. Pause and Regulate Before Connecting Therapists can help parents understand the importance of taking a moment to pause and regulate before reconnecting with their child, especially after a long day or period of separation. Encourage them to take a breath, check in with their emotions, and clear their minds before the interaction. Without this pause, stress can easily seep into the connection, unintentionally sending the wrong message. By regulating first, parents can bring their full, calm presence, meeting their child with love and patience, which sets a positive tone for the reconnection.

3. Connection Shapes How Children See Themselves and the World As therapists, we understand how connection deeply shapes a child’s sense of self and worldview. Children absorb the feedback they get from their environment, especially from their caregivers. That initial moment of reconnection—whether warm or distant—sets the tone for how they see themselves and their place in the world. Encourage parents to offer a loving, calm presence in these moments, affirming their child’s value and helping to shape their identity in a positive, supportive way. It’s not just about avoiding negative expressions, but about actively showing love, care, and joy. This practice helps children see themselves as worthy and loved, building a strong foundation for their self-esteem.

Final Reflection:

As child therapists, we have the unique opportunity to support parents in recognizing the powerful impact of these first connections. Encourage families to take a moment to pause, regulate, and connect with love. These small, intentional acts have a lasting impact on how children see themselves and the world.

Additional Resources:

• Play Therapy Community® Facebook Group: Join Here

• Neuroscience of Play Therapy Course: Learn More

• EMDR Consultation with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here

• Business Coaching with Jackie Flynn: Schedule Here

• Self-Paced Trainings & Symposium Library: Explore Here

• Live EMDR with Kids Training: Details Here

• EMDR with Kids Flip Chart: Purchase on Amazon

• Book Jackie for Training/Speaking Events: Email: [e-mail]

• Polyvagal Theory: Watch on YouTube

• Synergetic Play Therapy: Learn More

• Oaklander Model: Explore Here

• Marshall's Workshop: Discover More

• Adlerian Play Therapy: Visit Here

• EMDRIA (EMDR International Association): Find Out More