Little liars: What to do about lying

My New Life

Children, like adults, lie and they can learn to do so from the young age of 2 years old, according to the researchers. In this episode, Jessica Rolph is joined by Dr. Kang Lee, a University of Toronto professor who has been examining lying and what it tells us about human cognition for over two decades. Kang is so dedicated to this field of study, he has convinced some 5,000 children to lie to him!

While many parents despair when in the face of these little lies, evidence suggests it is proof that executive functioning skills are developing in a child’s brain. Kang says to use these moments as teachable ones, but resist the urge to fall back on the “Never Cry Wolf” story. You’ll find out why at the end of this episode!

Key Takeaways:

[2:37] What is the difference between lying and storytelling?

[3:50] How does a child’s fantasy world factor into the storytelling?

[5:49] How should you respond when you trap your child in a lie?

[8:28] Is it a good idea to call our children out on their lies at all?

[12:05] How does the situation differ when a child is lying to get their needs met?

[15:48] When do children start to use white lies in social settings?

[18:10] Are white lies OK? How can we help children differentiate between the various types of lying?

[20:04] How do parents encourage truth-telling with a 3-5 year old?

[24:21] Jessica shares key takeaways from her honest conversation with Dr. Kang Lee.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Dr. Kang Lee and his associates are conducting a social integrity study exploring children’s decision-making and rule adherence. Children will read stories and do activities in two 1-hour sessions, online via Zoom. Families will receive a certificate and a $25 Amazon gift card for participation. Use this link to learn more and participate: kangleelab.com/participate