Manage episode 291084780 series 2857625
Today Zoe Speaks to Elle Wright, an author, --- and mother.
They talk about Elle's complex, difficult and unforgiving journey of infertility and loss in her new book A Bump in the Road.
They discuss many heavy and challenging topics but this is exactly why Elle writes about her personal journey, of overwhelming emotions and loss. She feels she needs to help pave the way to have these conversations no matter how difficult they can be to have. If it makes even one person feel less alone then it is all worth it.
- Elle journaled in a record keeping way about her fertility journey, this was an invaluable aid in writing her book as if there was anything she was unsure on she could go back and refer to what she had written previously.
- It is incredibly difficult for Elle to write about things that have happened to her in the moment, whilst they are happening, so when she is going through something particularly hard she does have to take a break from social media until she is ready to talk.
- One of the things many people who have undergone fertility treatment struggle with is the sense of a great loss of time. The length for everything to happen and take place can be extremely frustrating.
- Zoe is always in awe of women who manage to undergo IVF treatment and remain in full time employment. So many people do not realise how brutal the process is on you both physically and mentally.
- After suffering many health complications Elle really wanted to try and do a natural IVF cycle, she was so sick of all the drugs she had taken, she just wanted a rest from it all. Sadly it wasn’t to be as she was cruelly told by a nurse. This was one of her hardest moments as it was when her last bit of hope got taken away from her, she almost gave up.
- Wonderfully, the next appointment she had she was told that her eggs could be used and after that round she became pregnant! Seeing the heartbeat of her daughter Olivia for the first time was just indescribable for Elle. It was pure, unadulterated joy.
- Elle's son Teddy tragically died at 3 days old, pregnancy after loss is so complicated no one can help the way your brain works after that kind of trauma so the anxiety she felt whilst pregnant with Elle was overwhelming at times, it couldn't be explained away.
One of the things she did herself to try and help with the anxiety was focus on the aspects she could control, this took her mind off many of the things that couldn't be controlled or planned.
- Elle’s daughter Olivia was due to be born by an elective c-cection but she decided to make her own dramatic entrance earlier! Elle was doing her evening routine at home and she felt a pop, she thought it was her waters but she looked down and all she could see was a pool of blood, she screamed but no sound came out. In her mind, she thought if her baby didn’t die, she would, because it was the one thing that hadn’t happened to her yet.
- Once in hospital she was put on a monitor and thankfully they could hear a heartbeat. Her consultant arrived and made the decision for Elle to have an emergency c-section. Olivia was born healthy and this is the start of their new chapter as a family.
“The detail just kind of blew my mind a bit!”
“It was all about using our home as a massive form of escapism”
“Someone waves a magic wand and you’re free!”
“I was so done with drugs”
“I needed to fix those little things so that I feel it wouldn’t happen”
“If my baby doesn’t die, I’m going to die”
“The consultant and midwife didn’t say anything to one another, I guess they were communicating in knowing looks”
Sophie Smith @life.before.you
Zara Dawson @littlenorfolkcottage
Rachel Lyons @ourlyonspride
Vanessa Haye @venessahaye
Little Roo Neonatal Fund
ABOUT THE GUEST
ABOUT THE HOST
Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.
Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.
Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.
With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth.
Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations.
Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.
Instagram : @zoecresswell_me
Facebook: Zoe Cresswell
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