044: The 4th Trimester Nobody Talks About - W/ Eugene Mbanya

Living African

What exactly is the fourth trimester?

This is basically the first three months of a mom and baby’s life after delivery; just like another "trimester" of pregnancy.

While new parents prepare for the baby to come, they often find themselves feeling surprised by how disorienting and overwhelming it is to care for a newborn baby.

For the baby, imagine being in a comfortable space for 9 months and then suddenly taken out of it to an entirely different environment where you have to fend for yourself. You will need time to adjust.

Meanwhile for the mother, imagine trying to recover from childbirth with your body and mind going through huge changes, while trying to accommodate your baby’s needs and take care of yourself. It could quickly get overwhelming.

So why are we talking about this?

From experience, it is pretty sad to say nobody truly openly talks about such experiences. I personally would’ve loved to know what to expect if someone sat me down to explain the reality of life in the fourth trimester. So, we decided to share our experiences to help someone out there, especially new parents to be.

Although there is certainly joy, the first few months can feel fragmented, unbearably exhausting—and the relentless needs of a newborn can make parents feel like they never get a break.

Things You Will Learn in This Episode:

[00:01 – 04:42] Introduction

• Introducing Eugene, my husband, and giving a little background to this episode

[04:42 – 24:00] Our Labor & Delivery Story

• The sequence of events that led to delivery

[24:00 – 51:00] The Aftermath of Delivery

• Spending our first two days at the hospital
• The sleepless nights and stressful days
• Breastfeeding and its complications
• Baby blues or postpartum depression?
• How we have managed to keep afloat

[51:00 – 59:00] Advice to New Parents

• Seeking the education you need
• Having a strong relationship with your partner
• Asking for help when needed

[59:00 – 1:06:00] Final Discussion

• Eugene & Anyoh share their last words

Tweetable Quotes:

“To all the women out there, always fend for yourself at the end of the day. Can you take a natural delivery without pain meds? If you can, then go for it but don’t do it because people are influencing you because at the end of the day, you gotta lookout for your comfort and that of the baby. It doesn’t make you a stronger woman to choose one method of delivery over the other.” - Anyoh Fombad

“I just want to encourage every woman who is trying to look for an OBGYN to now limit your options only to women (female OBGYNs) because you will be surprised to know that the men are actually as good, if not, even better than some of the female oBGYNs out there.” - Anyoh Fombad

“For the guys out there, I will really just say if there is one thing you can do, just make yourself available [to support your partner].” - Eugene Mbanya

“For new parents, do the best you can to educate yourself on what to expect. It is true that it will never match the actual experience, but seek out some trusted people in your community and ask them to be honest with you to give you feedback on what to expect.” - Eugene Mbanya

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You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).