Rewriting the Narrative: How Outdoor Adventures Changed Everything with Robert DeLena - Episode 35

Inclusion and Advocacy from a Parent's Perspective: The Inclusive Dad

In this episode of The Inclusive Dad Podcast, host AAron welcomes Robert Delena, author of Without Restraint, to discuss the profound parenting journey of raising his son, Ryan, who was labeled with behavioral challenges and pushed into the therapeutic system. Robert shares how skiing and outdoor adventures unlocked Ryan’s potential, reshaping their approach to inclusion. They explore navigating rigid educational systems, questioning medication, and discovering strength in unconventional passions. The conversation highlights resilience, parenting missteps, and celebrating differences, inspiring listeners to challenge societal norms and redefine success for their children.

Key Takeaways:

Find Their Passion: Discovering Ryan's love for skiing transformed his confidence and path to independence.

Question Systems: Parents must advocate for their child by challenging schools and medical systems.

Strength-Based Focus: Emphasizing strengths over weaknesses leads to growth and fulfillment.

Inclusive Perspective: Inclusion means finding environments where children thrive, not forcing conformity.

Resilience Matters: Parenting is about persistence, learning from mistakes, and adapting strategies.

Robert’s definition of inclusion:

Inclusion is the opposite of exclusion. For long periods of time people have been excluded based on how they looked or how they acted, for the wrong reasons. If I could do it over again, I would have tried harder to find things that were inclusive for him from the start and not worry so much about what I wanted.

Robert’s Bio:

As a child, my son Ryan had difficulty controlling his emotions and was placed in therapeutic schools that relied on detrimental methods of behavior modification such as physical restraint. Nothing helped from a team of doctors to heavy medication. Then in 2010, he was voluntarily committed to a mental hospital for further evaluation. My wife and I were counseled to place him in a group home. We refused.

Two years earlier, after an impulsive decision to take Ryan skiing, I discovered a different child than the version experts were so sure about. By his second day of skiing, Ryan was executing advanced runs, and with each conquest in the winters that followed, I began to question the path laid for his son by the professionals paid to judge him. Later, I convinced my wife to fight the medical and educational complexes over Ryan’s care and school placement, and together we fostered the freedom Ryan needed to pursue his dream of becoming a professional ski mountaineer.

Robert DeLena was raised in Revere, Massachusetts, and is a graduate of The Governor’s Academy, Trinity College, and Northeastern University School of Law. He lives in Sudbury, MA, with his wife, Mary Beth, and his daughter, Abigail.

In 2023, Rob and his son Ryan published Without Restraint chronicling Ryan's journey through several therapeutic schools after a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, and how an impromptu ski day changed their lives.

Connect with Robert:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robert.c.delena

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robert.delena/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertdelena/

Website: https://without-restraint-book.com/

Buy the Book: https://www.amazon.com/Without-Restraint-Robert-DeLena/dp/1493066927/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ZRV7DUGRR78A&keywords=without+restraint&qid=1676475434&sprefix=%2Caps%2C145&sr=8-1

SPAM© Count:

Host:

Yes

Current Guest:

No

Cumulative Guest Stats:

Yes - 17

No - 16

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