Using compassion for more impact – Amy Armstrong

Decide for Impact podcast

Today, we are learning from Amy Armstrong. Amy is a licensed social worker who coaches leaders in business, education, and at home to master boundaries so they can break free from the anxiety of conflict. Clients learn to negotiate productively and create positive change -- no more feeling resentful of challenging situations or controlled by difficult people. Amy founded The Center for Family Resolution, a trusted source for innovative parenting and co-parenting interventions for domestic courts in Ohio and beyond. She is considered a pioneer in the field of conflict resolution at the intersection of family law. Her work also extends into New York City public schools and into corporate arenas. Additionally, Amy is the Director of Education with The Center for Coach Development, an authorized training program of the International Coaching Federation (ICF). This highly interactive program is for professionals who want to uplevel their communication skills or gain global recognition as a professional coach. Let's get started... In this conversation with Amy Armstrong, I learned: 00:00 Intro 02:20 Speaking with people about their experience with conflict, so we don't get so frustrated to live out our values. 04:50 Everyone believes that they are fighting for their values. 06:10 Help people to articulate their values that are at risk. 07:55 No one cares what you know until they know that you care. 08:50 We resist learning, in an atmosphere where we don't get a sense that the other person is interested in learning. 12:25 If we can create some type of human-to-human connection we are open to learning. 14:15 How do you stay in the heart space while having a money conversation? 14:30 When we go from our heart to our head we lose the connection. 16:50 Make eye contact with your heart saying, "I see you". 22:45 Taking responsibility for our own emotions. 25:25 How do we take ultimate responsibility for what we think, feel and do. 26:15 Any activist let's ask the question, how can I be in my heart? How can I speak from the heart? 30:00 Compassion for yourself is always the answer. 30:50 When fear is bathed in compassion, fear relaxes. 31:30 Some great practices and habits to open your heart. 36:15 Daily practices to remember that we have complete control over how we think, how we feel, and what we do. 37:45 In conflict we want to maximize our influence, maximize our power, by claiming responsibility. 39:00 We have control of keeping our hearts open, even in high conflict. 44:55 How activists could use compassion to speak from the heart, instead of from anger. 45:15 Focus on what we do want, instead of what we don't want. 46:55 Compassion is 'passion' with someone ('com'). 47:30 We don't change the message, we change the impact and the influence of our message. 49:50 Learning habits of compassion. More about Amy Armstrong: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachamyarmstrong/ https://thecenterforfamilyresolution.com Resources we mention: https://www.my-robin.com/ Daniel Goleman Initiatives of Change Inner Development Goals Caux Inner Development Goals Forum Michael Alan Singer Video of the conversation with Amy Armstrong https://youtu.be/Wst84dq5XOQ Watch here https://youtu.be/Wst84dq5XOQ