Redux: Dark Fantasies, Part 2

Dear Sugars

This episode was originally released on January 20, 2018.

“I’m a 24-year-old woman who is completely and embarrassingly aroused by people who are confined to wheelchairs,” writes a woman who calls herself “Wishing to be Seen.” In her pained letter, she explains the possible origins of her isolating fetish and asks the Sugars for a way out: “I just want to have an orgasm with a real human rather than with my sad self, in my sad bed, sadly watching YouTube videos of women I feel I am objectifying and using.”

“Wishing to Be Seen” is plagued by a single, shame-inducing fantasy, which Dr. Ian Kerner terms her “core erotic theme.” Where do our core erotic themes come from? And is it possible to escape their grip? In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer these questions and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy.

Dr. Kerner specializes in sex therapy and couples therapy. He’s also the New York Times best-selling author of “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.”

The Sugars Recommend

“The Metal Bowl,” by Miranda July “The Erotic Mind,” by Jack Morin