Crying Out To God In Suffering

Church for LGBT - Open Table MCC - Philippines

After a long time the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned under their slavery and cried out. Their cry for help rose up to God from their slavery. God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God looked upon the Israelites, and God took notice of them.

Exodus 2:23-25 (NRSVUE)

Mapagpalang hapon sa inyong lahat. Nakapanood na ba lahat ng Wicked? Sinong mga kumanta sa sinehan? Ok, ibaban namin kayo dito sa MCC, Hermanas, paki usher nalang sila palabas.

Today marks the beginning of Advent in the Liturgical Calendar. Advent is the season of waiting and preparation for the coming of Jesus. Excited na ba kayo sa pagdating ni Jesus? We? Mukhang excited lang naman ata kayo sa mga paraffle sa office nyo na ngayon palang ay namomroblema na kayo kung paano niyo maiuuwi ung mapapanalunan nyong ref, tama ba? Or maybe excited narin kayo sa Christmas break. I’m also excited for that.

Our theme for this year’s Advent series is Crying Out to God. As mentioned earlier, Advent is a season of anticipation for the coming of Christ, bakit naging “crying out?” Ano ang koneksyon ng Exodus passage na binasa natin sa Christmas?

Just a background lang no for our passage today. The Book of Exodus has been Matthew’s inspiration in his Gospel. Matthew presents Jesus as the new and even better Moses, we can see this in the parallels sa buhay nilang dalawa. Details such as their birth wherein both were born under the threat of death. If you remember, Pharaoh ordered to kill all Hebrew male children that are going to be born, while at the time of Jesus’ birth, Herod ordered all male infants to be killed. Both were also spared from that ruthless policy, Moses, through the daughter of Pharaoh na nakakita sa kanya sa Nile river at itinago sya sa palasyo while Jesus was spared when an Angel warned “his dad” Joseph, that there is a threat sa buhay ni Jesus, kaya sila umalis papuntang Egypt. Those are some of the details that Matthew used, to present Jesus as similar or the better Moses. Showing us that Jesus is meant to be the response to the cry of the people just like Moses.

So bakit paskong pasko eh naging about crying out? Maybe a better question would be, why hope? Why need Jesus?

Because Christmas is a story of God’s hope as a response to the cry of the people. Like in Exodus, God used Moses for the liberation of the Hebrew people whose cries and groaning was heard by God.

We only hope because we are looking for a better future, different from our present state, and I think hope is what keeps us alive. Meron ba ditong hindi naghohope? However small or insignificant that is, as small as you hoping na masarap ang makakainan niyo after the service, or sa mga accla hoping na magkabooking mamaya, or as big as mapromote ka sa work. Nothing wrong with those, just stating this as a proof that all of us do hope.

For the Hebrew people during that time, wala silang ibang choice but to cry out to God because they were under extreme hardship of forced slavery and oppression, and this is also the story of Christmas, it is a story of hope that comes from wrestling with our hopelessness, hope that comes from vulnerability and facing the reality of the here and now.

In that state of hopelessness and despair what do you usually do? Do you deny reality? Do you pretend like everything’s ok? Do you hold back your tears? Do you stop yourself from experiencing your emotions and sitting with them?

I always catch myself apologizing whenever I cry in times of vulnerable moments with the people I love, and I think this isn’t only me, maybe some of us do that too. I realized that maybe the reason is that we see crying as an unpleasant act. We feel that showing it to people can cause disturbance to the existing peace and we don’t want ourselves to feel like we are a burden to other people that’s why we apologize. We do not want our weaknesses to be exposed hence we should avoid it at all costs.

Crying carries with it unpleasant feelings and emotions and our human tendency is to suppress that, we tend to always hold on to feelings or emotions that we see as positive.

So, in this preaching, I invite all of you. Cry out! Wag kayong makinig kay Fergie that Big Girls Don’t Cry, no! Mature and healthy individuals do cry and see its value in their lives.

Sitting with your sadness and crying out is a form of worship, it is the admission of our helplessness and reliance on God who listens like how the cries and groaning of the Hebrew people was heard by God. Worship isn’t supposed to be always a happy act, of course God wants us to be happy, but I think God also wants us to embrace and sit with our sadness or to cry because, I think, God is pleased when we are honest with ourselves, Just like a partner or a parent who wants their loved ones to be totally transparent with them so they know how they can help or how to be just present in their suffering.

Your tears, your cries, are a form of worship. God collects every tear you have shed and God counts not only every hair of your head but also every tear that comes out of your eyes. Crying is a ritual and every tear is holy water, an offering to the God who cries with us. There are also some things and situation where healing can only come by crying and your pain being washed by unrestricted flow of tears.

Crying is being present with ourselves. It is us acknowledging that we are hurting or suffering and the things happening around us are not what it is supposed to be. This can also be a gift from God as it allows us to see things around us more clearly, things that we are not capable of noticing when we are happy, it gives us insights on what needs to be worked on in our lives, thus making our lives better.

Sadness also allows us to connect with others by being sensitive to their suffering. This also enables us to cry with and for other people as we see injustice more clearly after our rose-tinted glasses have worn-out and when the feeling of happiness has dwindled, we now can’t avoid seeing the concerning things around us that we don’t usually notice before. The pro-poor and Roman Catholic martyr, Bishop Oscar Romero said, “There are many things that can only be seen through eyes that have cried.” Crying and groaning for the injustice that other people are experiencing is the first step in following Jesus’ mandate to us which is to love our neighbors as ourselves. It’s only through these tears that we will be compelled to take action, like some of our volunteers here are doing. This DIY Church is built on the tears of our members, tears from their experiences as queer people rejected, tears that come from their concern towards their queer siblings, these tears translated into action and service here in our humble Church. Do not suppress your tears, do not hinder these emotions to do its work for you.

Also, not everyone is celebrating this Christmas season. There are people who do not have enough to be able to celebrate, there are some of our queer siblings who don’t have families or communities to celebrate it with after being disowned or rejected because of being queer. The festivities might even be a trigger for some because it just magnifies the loneliness and injustices that they are experiencing. As we hope for Christmas, let’s remember that.

While we all cry out in this season of advent or allow ourselves to cry, it doesn’t just end there. Let’s remember that while the Hebrew people were crying and groaning, hope is working its way in the background. Just as when Moses was rescued by the Pharaoh’s daughter and Jesus was spared through the angel’s warning, hope was already moving without the knowledge of the people crying for it, the palace is too out of reach for the Hebrew people enslaved in Egypt for them to know what’s happening inside, Mary and Joseph’s family is also too insignificant for people to know their whereabouts, or to even know if the child is safe, yet hope is working even when the people don’t even think of it.

And this also true for all of us, as Christians we are supposed to be people of hope, but let’s admit it na may moments where we feel hopeless, we feel beaten, we are hurt and questioning where will this end? I encourage you to just feel it at iiyak mo lang but as a people of hope, be comforted with the truth that hope is behind you and around you working even when you don’t fully see it or are even thinking of it.

Be comforted na ang Diyos ay kumikilos sa ating buhay at ating mundo kahit hindi mo feel, kahit parang ang chaka ng mga ganap at sobrang fucked up ng mga bagay-bagay na mapapaisip ka kung end times na ba talaga. There’s still a lot of good sa paligid natin na hindi natin fully nakikita or nauunawaan.

Maraming magagandang bagay sa paligid natin that we even sometimes take for granted, mga maliit na bagay such as the clear blue sky in the morning, the smell of our morning coffee, the sunlight na tumatama sa mga halaman making it’s green color more vibrant making our mornings happier.

We see that good sa mga taong willing tayong tabihan sa ating pag iyak, sa mga cuddle moments sa ating mga booking, sa mga taong nagpapatakbo nitong DIY Church na ito, the reason why we are here hearing this message of hope. Diba nga, there was a time na hindi nyo alam na meron palang ganitong church? And how many LGBTQIA+ Filipinos who do not know that there is a church living, doing, and proclaiming love and safe space? In their despair which was your despair before, there is good happening in Greenhills, San Juan, and hopefully, int heir hoping and crying out, they will find Open Table MCC the way that each of us did.

You are doing good, in your small ways and you in itself are part of that good in this world. Kaya let’s continue being hopeful and embodiments of hope in this world even in the midst of our tears.

As we end, I have one question for two different groups of people in this room today. For the first group, you might have not been feeling ok recently, maybe a lot of things have been going through sa buhay mo, sa personal life, sa work, sa family, anything that is weighing you down. Can we all close our eyes? (slowly) Feel your emotions right now, think of all those things that make you want to cry, just allow it to pass through you, wag mong husgahan ang mga emosyon, don’t think of it as something negative, breathe. While you are sitting with your emotions. Keep your eyes closed.

I will take this time to ask the second group of people here in this room, maybe you’re happy right now or wala lang, everything’s ok naman and there is no reason to cry, that’s totally fine, and let’s thank God for that blessing. My question to you now as your eyes are closed, when was the last time that you cried or felt sad for other people? May it be your family, your friends, or anyone suffering. Who comes to mind? Can you say a prayer for them right now?

Let’s pray, aming mapagmahal at Dakilang Maylikha, we thank you for this opportunity to come together and just cry out as one people, much as we are thankful for all the joys and blessings, we also thank you for all the tears shed for we know that even in the darkest moments of our lives, you are with us. Comfort us, and bring healing to our weary souls.

Can you also give us the grace to turn these tears into grace and compassion, to ourselves whom we constantly beat up because of the pressures and rejection of this world, grace and compassion to other people who needs to hear your message of love, inclusivity, and liberation. All of this we ask in the name of Jesus, whom we try our best to follow. Sya Nawa. Amen!

Of course Advent doesn’t end here, we may be crying now as we wait on God, but there is a promise, and it is in God’s presence in us, through Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us. God bless us all!

The post Crying Out To God In Suffering appeared first on Open Table Metropolitan Community Church.