Featuring Carly Lewis

Cavern of Secrets

Carly Lewis, journalist, kind woman and spectacular human being, joins host Lauren Mitchell in the Cavern. Carly has written for the Globe and Mail, New York Magazine, the Atlantic, Hazlitt and more. She talks about the value of feeling isolated, getting away from your anger and making sure your parents drink water. “I feel like everybody has a little invisible suitcase with them and in that suitcase is their anger.”

Our favourite moments: “You should strive to be the person you needed when you were younger.” [3:27]

“I had to learn how to feel safe in myself. And that was a hard-fought lesson.” [7:40]

“It was also really important to me to be a strong loner.” [8:45]

“Anytime I have made a platform for myself that is based on anger or taking up space to be vocal about sexual assault or harassment or anything like that, I have left that space feeling tremendously guilty.” [9:20]

“I feel like everybody has a little invisible suitcase with them and in that suitcase is their anger.” [11:17]

“Now that I’ve gotten more powerful just by virtue of getting older, I’m less angry. Even though there’s so much to be angry about, but I’m not walking around the world furious in the way that I kind of used to be.” [12:35]

This is when I learned to ask for forgiveness, not permission: When I asked my mom if i could sleep over in an orchard in Grimsby Ontario with a bunch of boys and my mom was, like, absolutely-the-fuck-not.” [15:35]

“I’ve stopped thinking about happiness as a state or a promised land or a quest. I’ve started thinking about it as a fog that just kind of comes or goes away…” [22:30]

“Something out there does not want me to have a stable place to live...Something out there wants me to get used to be transient.” [26:45]

CREDITS: Cavern of Secrets is hosted by Lauren Mitchell. Produced by Ellen Payne Smith & Katie Jensen, with assistance from Vicky Mochama and Sarah Daniel.