A podcast about caring too much. Hosted by Jen Ponton and Lillian Bustle.
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163 - All the Zombie Croissants
1:30:22
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Happy spoOoOoky Halloween, fuckbuddies! Here’s to another year on the ol’ hayride with Jen + Lillian, with stories to tingle your toes and freeze your bones! But really--is anything scarier than Temu?
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162 - All the Grass-Fed Orgasms
1:36:17
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It's a new dawn, fuckbuddies--well, maybe? We'll see? Today, Jen + Lillian wax cautiously-optimistic as we discuss the DNC, the agony of confronting your attachment issues, and rage over the decades of buffoonery and quackery that have masqueraded as women's health. Grab your hand mirrors, dive into this episode, and get ready to find your clit!…
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161 - All the UberToilets
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There's nowhere to go but down when it comes to these delivery apps, Fuckbuddies. Join Jen + Lillian as they break out the Mortified card game, I Can't Believe I Did That, and spin tales of concealed weapons, prom dress flops, jazz hands, and psychotic teachers.
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160 - All the Olympic Village Orgies
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Wrap a flag around you and hop in the Seine, fuckbuddies--today, Jen + Lillian are discussing all things Olympics! From teams who are definitely fucking, to the uncontested Best Event Ever, to the sexual awakening that is women's rugby--your best theatre kid friends are here to make the Olympics hornier than ever. Viva la France!…
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159 - All the Dyke Dust
1:48:46
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Ah, summer--let's grab a cold lemonade and let's go mudboggin' fuckbuddies! Today, Jen + Lillian spin cotton candy stories of their favorite farmer's fairs, hometown ho-downs, and county carnivals. We recommend you enjoy this one with snacks, because you're gonna get hungry!
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158 - All the Heat Waves in Hell
1:37:55
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Take a deep breath with us: *Ahhhh.* Feel that, Fuckbuddies? That's the absence of 100*+ heat indexes slapping you in the face! Today, pop a cold one as Jen + Lillian safely discuss the perils of our hottest summers from the blissful purgatory of 81* and cloudy.
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157 - All the Botched Jobs
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Fuckbuddies, what is 2024 Face and why is it everywhere? Why are we still wearing heels in hell? And is Pete Davidson truly likeable? (Answer: absofuckinglutely.) Join Jen + Lillian as we avoid The Thing That Happened and talk about literally anything else!
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156 - All the Sappy Sabbaticals
1:23:17
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1:23:17
It's high summer, fuckbuddies--carefree sun, fun, and... Jen + Lillian cowering in this unending heatwave! Welcome to another season (?) of All the Fucks: with even more badass burlesque, queer fabulosity, and titillating theatre than ever before. So jump in a cold shower and let us heat up your summertime!…
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155 - All the Flavor Dumpsters
1:29:35
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**NOTE: There's some unboxing happening from 8:00-14:50, in case you wish to skip!** Bring the holly jolly with your hosts, fuckbuddies! Today Jen + Lillian remember disastrous yules of yore, talk perfect gifts (and unforgivable ones), and do some very niche unboxing!
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154 - All the Found Feet
1:09:06
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Happy holidays, Fuckbuddies! Well, Jen + Lillian meant to bring the merry and bright, but instead succeeded in bringing the creepy and horny. It's a Christmas miracle!
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153 - All the Frozen Turkeys
1:24:04
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Gobble gobble, fuckbuddies! Who are we kidding? Thanksgiving is *hard.* Being on earth is *hard.* Come cuddle with Jen + Lillian and listen to us re-regulate and re-parent after a lifetime of holiday trauma!
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152 - All the Other Mothers
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Now that spOoOky szn is over, Jen + Lillian are nesting cozy and diving deep into some of the best ways to take care of ourselves, through the holidays and beyond.
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151 - All the Shakes and Shivers
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Happy SpoOoOoOky Halloween, fuckbuddies! We're back with more spine-tingling tales for a very scintillating Samhain! So turn off the lights, grab fistfuls of candy, and remember that whatever you are for Halloween, you are obviously the Sexy Version.
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150 - All the InstaSmut
1:13:48
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We're back from summer vacation, fuckbuddies--and all we got was this darn COVID. Stories of maladies, melodies, and no-undies galore in our grand return, plus: spOoOoOoky Halloween!
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149 - All the Cake-Sittin' and Dick-Steppin'
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We're fat as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore! (Thanks to IN-209, New York's new legislation protecting workers from size discrimination!) Today, Jen + Lillian celebrate this landmark win, advocate for body neutrality despite being unreasonably hot, and talk a whole lot about the labor revolution that we find ourselves in. And actors--you …
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148 - All 10,000 Lunatics
1:13:23
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Happy spring, fuckbuddies! What a time to pack up a pic-i-nic basket, stroll through the Meadowlands, and find... an abandoned asylum? Join Jen + Lillian as they uncover one of the weirdest places in North Jersey--Snake Hill. (Spoiler alert: it's basically the plot of POLTERGEIST!)
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147 - All the Creeping Cryptids
1:07:31
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Hop in the back and come on down to the Pine Barrens of New Jersey with Jen + Lillian! Don't worry if you forgot your flashlights--the blazing red eyes from the creatures in the woods will light the way! Today, we dish on the trouble with Wife Guys, the many storied creatures of the Garden State, and the bird app that you actually *should* download…
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146 - All the Jazz Rats
1:27:03
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It's true--we're still back, baby! Today, Jen+ Lillian discuss the transformative EAT, PRAY, LOVE trips of their lives. From nostalgic camp memories to fleeing nuclear fallout, the stories today are cathartic, cinematic, and a little ridiculous.
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145 - Are You There, Fuckbuddies? It's Us, Jen + Lillian
1:25:49
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WELCOME TO SEASON SOMETHING! What season is it? We don't know! But we've been hugging your ears for 3+ years, and this is a glorious return from a long hiatus, so here we are. Jen + Lillian kick off this season with a boatload of feelings and hormones as we deep-dive into the works of Judy Blume--a woman who wrote your whole adolescence, but who is…
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144 - All the Halloween Hedonism
1:19:16
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We can't let November begin without one more send-up to spOoOoOky Halloween! We talk Jen's first proper adult Halloween, definitively rank the best horror movie baddies, and try to fight the siren call of maternity pants--all before we chill you to the bone with more terrifying stories from beyond the veil.…
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143 - All the Secret Rooms
1:21:05
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Are you ready for another spOoOoOky Halloween with Jen + Lillian, fuckbuddies? We are thrilled to bring back the infinitely creepy Jezebel stories, true tales from dubious dating apps, chilling chateaus, and--as ever--fucking Florida.
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142 - All the Bedside Care Bears
1:25:41
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While convalescing bedside--respectively from un-COVID and knee surgery--Jen + Lillian wax rhapsodic about high school reunions, the joy of Amazon Slime, and exciting fat representation on TV.
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141 - All the U-Have To Be Kidding Me
1:31:25
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After an impossibly frought and endless sojourn in the Midwest, Jen finally rejoins Lillian in the land of the ̶f̶r̶e̶e̶ pizza--New Friggin' Jersey. Listen to a tale of an unbelivable move that gets more and more bonkers as we go!
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140 - All the Shrieking Harpies
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Yes we know it's been 5 weeks, but have you seen planet Earth recently? THIS PLACE IS BONKERS. Catch up with Jen + Lillian right before things went absolutely hogwild (why yes, that is an early tidbit of next week's episode) as they process some of the most fascist, doom-mongering shit 2022 had to throw! But there is a silver lining... and it taste…
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139 - All the Hot Goss
1:25:18
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Here it is, your first brand new episode from Jen + Lillian! There's no theme today, fuckbuddies--just two best friends who haven't done a full "I can't even" download for seven whole months. Learn about why we've been gone, Southern colonial dinner fare, and who's getting hot and heavy (spoiler: it's a puppy!).…
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138 - All the 23 and Us
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In a final unaired episode, Jen + Lillian explore their journals from their first intrepid days in the world as Grown-Ups (read: freshly 23, and brand-new in New York City with a BA in Theatre Arts). And oh boy, does the Big Apple have some adventures in store for these two young, green, pie-eyed gals. Get ready for tales of questionable student fi…
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137 - All the Orange Juliuses
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What smells like Sun-Ripened Raspberry? In this unaired episode, Jen + Lillian return to their hometown malls of yore: neon-laced atriums with Corndogs on a Stick, Suncoast Video--and a Wet Seal, if you were really lucky. Long live our abandoned pigeon palaces! (Related: The Life and Death of the Phillipsburg Mall)…
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136 - My Best Friend's Best Friend
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Jen + Lillian are BACK, Fuckbuddies! And to kick off a brand new season (?), we present to you Jen's favorite format: My Best Friend's Best Friend. Today, meet Kay Koch, the Jim Henson to Jen's Frank Oz. Kay and Jen wax rhapsodic with Lillian about walrus fails, chivalrous sheep, and how many pelvic exams are too many? | The Weirdos Next Door…
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135 - All the Awkward Returns
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OKAY SO WE KNOW THIS IS WEIRD. We know it's been 196 days since we checked in, said hello, kept you company in the car-shower-kitchen-dark. Lots of you are asking: is All the Fucks over? Nay, fuckbuddies--WE ARE BACK! We're here, we're queer, we're taking our meds and trying our best! Get ready for the return of your (we hope favorite) rad fat fair…
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134 - All the Zaddy Capricorns
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Fuckbuddies, it's Lillian's birthday! Join Jen + the birthday girl as Jen paints a glorious picture of Capricorn Excellence, we reflect on some of the best internetting for our mental health, and we chase our desires for the year ahead.
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133 - All the Keanu You Can Handle
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What's that, fuckbuddies? The world is one giant FOX Christmas tree on fire? Let Jen + Lillian distract you with a great big Dollop of Christmasy proportions--1986's BABES IN TOYLAND, starring an eerily on-the-brink Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves in his most adorable role of all time! And if you haven't seen this epic, traumatizing gem, don't wait…
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132 - All the Golden Days of Yore
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Fuckbuddies, we know--it's shaping up to look like another superspreader Christmas. Whether you are hunkering down, testing positive, or avoiding a long-awaited flight, Jen + Lillian are here to bring you a little bit of comfort and warmth, and a reminder that not absolutely everything this year was horrid. As we remember our high points of 2021, w…
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131 - All the... Uh Oh... Oh Fuck(s)
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LOLOL. Well fuckbuddies, what more do you expect from our second Christmas in quarantine?! A journey down Kris Kringle lane gets interrupted by a tech snafu, and Jen cobbles together something for your virtual stockings from the peaceful oasis of Newark Liberty Airport. Ho Ho Ho!
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130 - All the Indoor Kids
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Welcome back, fuckbuddies! Ever mock up a hall pass or fake a headache to get out of dodgeball? Today, Jen + Lillian reflect on those seemingly innocuous childhood tendencies that, frankly... should have warranted a bit more adult intervention. With our collective goldfish memories, social withdrawal and chronic IBS, the kids are not, in fact, all …
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129 - My Best Friend's Best Friend
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Fuckbuddies, Tom Turkey brought us all a glorious Thanksgivukkah gift: he brought together bestest sisters-from-another-mister BFFs, Lillian and her other half, Shanna Bowman. Lillian and Shanna go way back, and Jen couldn't pass up the opportunity to do our first episode of MBFBF--a microseries where we share stories with one of our oldest, neares…
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128 - All the Gratitude Letters
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Hi friends! A special note from Lillian. Jen and I have some big smushy content for you, but we also want to acknowledge that for many indigenous people, what we call Thanksgiving is a day of mourning. If this is on your heart today, I'd like to tell you about my friend Sky. They're Mikmaq and identify as Two Spirit (a term used by indigenous folks…
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127 - All the Knockoff Teddy Ruxpins
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Jen + Lillian brought snacks and sleeping bags! It's just us today, and wow, has it been a long time since we just sat together and talked. Today, we revisit poking at our socio-economic upbringings--our privileges and pitfalls, both real and perceived. We talk moms making magic, toys we cherished, and the things we could never have. We also wax rh…
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126 - All the Dirty Tweets
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Jen + Lillian are back with a friend! Meet storyteller, dirty talker, and dildo slinger Dirty Lola--host of NYC's live show SEX ED A GO GO! Lola is a proud sex edu-tainer, making sex ed fun and empowering. Lola tells us all about growing up in the South, '90s diet culture, being out and brilliantly queer as a NYC teen, and dabbling in Twitter After…
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125 - All the Poor Orphans
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Upper East Side paparazzi! Covens of Stepford children! Strange moneypit museums! The Shah of Iran! This one has everything, it's weird, it's complicated. Jen + Lillian haven't even really scratched the surface. But today, we try to give you a nuanced look at the way we perceive class and privilege as children; the imaginary trappings that felt SO …
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124 - All the Spooky Catharses
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It's spOoOoOoky Halloween! Jen + Lillian prepare for a weekend of candy and frights, sharing some of their best horrific recommendations and diving into the Jezebel Halloween archives once more. Don't forget your night light!
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123 - All the Weirdos in the Walls
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Crawl into our blanket fort, and don't forget your flashlight--because tonight, Jen + Lillian are telling you some truly mortifying tales from all across New York! From questionable theatre in the village to a city slicker dude ranch in New Paltz, we share some particularly cringe-worthy diary entries (before the lights go out and we tell you ghost…
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122 - All the Haunted Hinterlands
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It’s October! And you know what that means—putting off dentist visits, perpetually remembering and then forgetting that you hate candy corn, and listening to Jen + Lillian tell you stories that rob you of your precious sleep. This week, we spin you a tale of the skinwalkers of Virginia, ne’erdowell maintenance men, and just how brainwashy LuLaRoe h…
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121 - All the Damp Dark Things
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It's October, and you know what that means, fuckbuddies--time to get spoOoOoOky with Jen + Lillian! We have some thrilling stories just for you--but in this calm before the storm, enjoy the last beautiful, ethereal installment of Francesca Lia Block's NECKLACE OF KISSES.
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120 - All the '90s Earworms
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Today, we’re going to tell you about—hey wait, did you see this true crime special? What about this epic cult takedown? Surely you must have seen the multi-level marketing miniseries?! Jen + Lillian get sidelined by so much good television and strange cinema it will make your head spin, along with the return of Broadway, champion ferrets, and the u…
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119 - All the Sex Cults
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Jen + Lillian are all in their feelings today, so we’re taking you back to the Pink Hotel for some more adventures with Weetzie Bat. But before we do, we explore the insidiousness of sex cults, tinkling when you sneeze, and—can we just talk about the missed opportunity that is LULA RUH-ROH?
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118 - All the Shitshows
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Let Jen + Lillian take you behind the velvet curtain today for a backstage pass to some of our cringiest theatre memories! From unlicensed musical snafus, to tyrannical directors, to giant dancing vulvas—we regret it all, fuck buddies. Encore, encore!
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117 - All the Trash Monsters
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Jen + Lillian whisk you back to pink smoggy Los Angeles to continue Francesca Lia Block's NECKLACE OF KISSES. But before we do, can we just talk about horror comedy and why it is the perfect genre? Unrelated, currently seeking looms in gently used condition. Inquire within!
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116 - All the Terrible Accents
1:32:34
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Jen + Lillian return to magical, mythical Los Angeles in Francesca Lia Block's Necklace of Kisses--but not before we dive into our most bingeworthy series, smoothies for every mood, and the merits of erotic cake sitting.
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115 - All the Theatre Gays
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Good Morning, Bayonne! Today, Jen + Lillian are bubbling over with excitement to introduce today's special guest--Nikki Blonsky, star of HAIRSPRAY! To us, Nikki is family. Not only because she's from Long Island (but yes), not only because she's a plus-size entertainer (but heck yes), not only because she's a queer femme (but absofrigginlutely yes)…
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114 - All the Flying Garters
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Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue... (and it just might be your cousin Rhonda’s eyeshadow.) There’s no telling what memories you’ll make at a wedding! Today, Jen + Lillian revisit the most iconic weddings of their lives: the opulent, the dramatic, and the downright bizarre. So toss back another Irish coffee and Electr…
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