Answering your questions about roleplaying games whether you asked us or not. Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heartydicefriends
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Episode 189 - Joke's On You I Was Only Pretending
1:00:21
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WE'RE BACK. Your boys - Chris and Grant - are back at it again with the RPG design, or rather, back at it again with a LOT of chat about Sheffield nightlife and some tangential Games Content. In this week's episode:- How Things Are Different In The North To The Way They Are In The South: a fascinating and novel topic of discussion- Vehicle RPGs? Is…
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Look: here are some reasons. And they double as content. Rest easy, little reader.- G xDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 188 - Dungeon Cubed
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Once again we turn to Twitter for some ideas, we even left out some of the truly upsetting ideas! Except for the ones about serial killers and dog wands, that gold stayed in.Biggest of loves,G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 187 - Alan Shearer's Infinite Downhill
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49:55
A brace of sad news items this week kick the show off with a melancholy bang. We look at the potential to exploit others for personal gain with some sort of football game? Well it certainly starts off that way.The hugest of loves,G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 186 - Three Games Are Better Than None
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54:22
Look! An episode!So yeah, it's been a weird time and we have been late with episodes. We get it. So Grant and Chris have squashed themselves into a tiny office in the middle of a blazing heatwave in an attempt to bring you, valued listener, some delicious content.On the other hand the room got so dangerously hot that we had to breaks, so enjoy that…
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Episode 185 - Bloodstained
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We smoosh together some vampires and investigative crime drama this week. I know we normally try and do tabletop games but this would work so well as video game we went with that instead. Now if we can just get a thick 8ft tall vampire lady to step on us. For the sales numbers you understand. It's viral advertising.XOXOG = C…
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You've got to wonder: why aren't there more wargames about massive trains trying to kill each other? And if you think the answer is "trains are on fixed tracks which makes a competitive game about them fighting a bit boring" then, buddy, you aren't our core market. Don't know what to tell you.Door Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 183 - Quadd Damage: Not about Quake
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What if you could use any weapon in a game? Tiny chainsaws launched from repeating tonfas, a bucket full of hand grenades, or and assault rifle that had no barrel but 9 scopes? Sounds like you'd be playing this weeks game which has nothing to do with popular video game series Quake.Door Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 182 - 100 Acre Blood LIVE
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50:01
We are LIVE from the comfort of our own homes as part of HDF Easter-Con. We streamed this episode on Twitch.tv/gshowitt and made a grim reboot of Winnie The Pooh. Join us for Easter-con! Or don't! I'm not your dad!xoxoxoxoG + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 181 - Crabs To Riches
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50:10
Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab Crab hugs & Crab kissesG + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 180 - Harried Flight
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41:06
We are back once again with the ill behaviour and a structured and focused RPG design session featuring incisive commentary and insider secrets.Hugs and kisses,Grant + Chris[Editor's note:] The bird Grant was trying to remember was a Cassowary, and the game Chris completely forgot was BagatelleDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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We're doing a hiatus because neither of us is really in the right place to be funny and engaging and insightful for a full hour on mic right now. We'll be back (baby!) on March 5th with episode 180, so please hang tight until then.The attached audio file is just us saying this for about four minutes and a weird, slowed-down version of the theme tun…
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Episode 179 - A Perfect Family
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38:48
The four of you have two human skinsuits, two robotic children, an overbearing overlord for a boss, and Henry down the road has just gotten himself a boat. How will this injustice be dealt with? How will you very slowly take over the world one suburban neighbourhood at a time? You're a perfect family, you should be able to figure it out- G+C…
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This week we forget to make a game and instead make two ways to be able to play the game we didn't design. It's confusing. A technological marvel and a playground toy scaled up. Lots of love- G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 177 - Christmas 2020
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38:19
Merry Christmas! Mr Christmash. Merr Chrzmo. Mondo Coolmas.In this episode:- Malfunctioning cat dicks- Can you do game mechanics with Christmas decorations? No. Do we try? Not really.- Crackers, and how they could be better- Santa Wants You To Get Some Strange- EAT! THAT! TINSEL!Muz crumbo.- G+CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 176 - Sports Day Death
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44:57
After an awful bus crash on your way to the global sports day summit , you and your classmates (and possibly Bill Clinton and some Civil War generals) must compete against death itself in the egg & spoon race. Also the javelin.And just who caused the crash in the first place?Lots of loveG + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 175 - Christmas Damage
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43:53
There aren't enough games about Christmas - even fewer about managing the correct amount of festive cheer, lest the Spirit overwhelm you and try to hunt you down until you LEARN. Well: now there's one. Well: now there's the IDEA of one. So maybe that's enough.Merry Early Christmas.- Grant and ChrisDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 174 - Bilbur Draggins Musical Journey
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43:41
What if, right, Lord of the Rings was guitar hero? What if Gandalf summoned dubstep? Who lives under my stairs? Where am i? Some of these questions will be answered in this very podcast!We love you. Like, a lot.- G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 173 - Big Venus Adventure Feat: Grimes
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Welcome to Mars(Venus)! While enjoying the Venusian(Martian)sunsets please remember to fill out your self-assessment forms, do the dishes, eat, socialise correctly, and not succumb to the crushing mundanity of everyday life. In this immersive VR lifestyle sim game Grimes will teach YOU how to exist as an adult in a world hellbent on crushing you un…
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Episode 172 - Designated Despot
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47:13
Drinking: it's fun, but is it fun enough? We engage in a flight of fancy more fantastical than elves, aliens or magic: being able to meet in large groups in enclosed spaces. Can we create a drinking game that a) factors in non-drinkers as players and b)is balanced for our ravaged mid-30's hangover-prone bodies? Definitely the first one. Probably no…
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Episode 171 - Monster Mash
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Happy Halloween! It's SPOOKY how short this episode is!Real talk: your boys aren't doing so great. We're both mad - and not in the wacky, fun-time way, more in the medicated staring at the walls sort of way. But! We've pulled it together enough to bring you a half hour of Halloween-themed entertainment. In this week's episode:- Dual Creepy Butlers-…
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In this week’s episode, we briefly consider the prospect of a game for dogs before we kick that to one side and spend forty minutes developing a spy game that’s quite similar to James Bond but not so similar that we’d get sued into the ground. Much love,- G+CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 169 - Chat It's Fate!
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51:43
You wouldn't think that there'd be much of a game inherent in supernatural gossip mags, but you'd be wrong. We knew better. That's why we make the BIG BUCKS in game design. Okay, full disclosure: the SMALL to MEDIUM BUCKS.Anyway. Enjoy the show.- G+CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 168 - 420 Blaze It
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47:14
This week we get weird. I mean that we have gone weird, in the head, and then done the podcast anyway. It is a strange one where we go back to answering questions for a week, sink some boats in the name of love, get angry at hypocritical governments, and make non-straight sexualities overpowered.Brace yourself for a strange thrill ride rife with ba…
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G + C bring love to the battlefield in a combination of RTS and Visual Novel.Lots of Love,G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 166 - St Evocatia's School For Adventurous Children
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1:00:12
Not calling out anyone in JK Particular but we reckon there's a gap in the market for a media property about a selection of increasingly endangered magical schoolchildren. To that end: what if D&D, but in High School?Much love,- Grant and ChrisDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 165 - Stonekillers
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48:59
Grant want's a game about bees and Chris wants a castle. From this we bring you Stonekillers, a flying castle game that is probably our most marketable to date.See if you can tell just how tired we are from our voices. It's a fun game!G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 164 - Feast of the Gods
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53:55
Grant gets an idea about mining games and we immediately kick it to one side in favour of a barbecue based crafting system of mythical proportions.Lots of love,G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 163 - Ghosts of the mech game
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55:21
What if a game had mechs in it? Can you imagine such a thing? We can, so we recorded us doing just that. Next week will be episode-less as Grant is on holiday in a secluded and secret location. Though rumour has it that if you can find him he has to give you his gold.Lots of love,- G + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 162 - S.H.A.R.K.
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Games about sharks - which is definitely a genre of games - are too arcadey for our tastes. Too low-brow. What this world needs is a high-concept, absurdist, hypertechnical electronic intrusion and counterintelligence game about sharks.Also, please enjoy our new format. Please.- Grant and ChrisDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 161 - Monopolygamy
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Happy Gencon everyone!Grant and Chris are live on the show floor, talking about:Riddle magicAdventurer poopand the ever enthralling topic of specificityThere is also some attempts at game design with weird monopoly sets, a remake of die hard, and Chris getting really into plums.Much loveG + CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 160 - CHESS
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Welcome to Chess Club! There's only one rule at Chess Club - there are no rules. Well - actually, there are lots of rules, more than regular chess in fact, that's more of a turn of phrase to get across the unusual way in which we play chess. Anyway: eat this rook and we'll say no more about it. Also in this week's episode:- Just how do you organise…
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Episode 159 - Slither Haints of Skunksuckle Holler
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1:01:52
Editors note: Chris' audio is a bit messed up here because he moved and screwed up his mic. There is some stuff about spiders at around 51 minutes and he also now knows that mildew is a fungus.--Well shucks, partner - sure are some wet ghosts you've got there. I'd say that those are the wettest ghosts I ever done seen, b'god! Y'all need to get yers…
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Episode 158 - Ska Tissue
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56:26
Dulce et decorum est, pro patria DOOT DA DOOT DOOT DOOT DA DOOAlso in this episode:- The Mug Apology- Best RPG manual to have on your side in a fight- How can we make enduring and resisting as interesting as, you know, other stuff in games?- How can you get over the desire to ride the plot as hard as possible?- Who is the Mayor of Neo-London in 204…
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Episode 157 - Stud Sucker ADVANCE
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54:47
Even more ramshackle than usual this week, but at least that gives us an opportunity to use the word "ramshackle," so silver linings eh? Join us for advice and games design on the subject of:- THE FEAR- Is Cthulhu a game poem?- Staying even vaguely entertained when it's not your turn- Gorilla Bodybuilding Simulator- A football fighting game, then a…
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Episode 156 - IKEVA
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1:05:03
A combination of timed puzzles and resource management to, maybe, build a functioning giant robot by hand before the monsters arrive and eat the city. Or if not a *fully* functioning giant robot, then maybe just build enough to put on top of a hill and roll down into them.Also this week:- Why not try: War?- Pitching games without resorting to "just…
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Episode 155 - A Short Series of 36 Books About Destroying Your School Called "The Thing Chronicles"
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That's the problem with the Animorphs - too much moving around. Terrible. Much better if instead of animals they can turn into ladders and screws and sofas and shit. Also in this week's episode:- Avoiding that terrible bit where players introduce their characters to each other- Making items memorable, or if you can't do that, getting better players…
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Episode 154 - Blimp Underground
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1:01:04
"Take me down / Blimp Underground," sang The Sneaker Pimps, back in 1996. Or something like that, anyway. Come to think of it, what sort of name is "Sneaker Pimps?" Weird. Maybe they sold trainers before they were a band. Or rented out shoes to fetishists for sexual purposes; one or the other.In this week's show:- FRIENDS the RPG- Dragons with a Wi…
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Episode 153 - Wizard Battle Tanks
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54:06
We spend a LONG time working out how to put spells in tanks today. Hopefully that's your sort of thing. Also in this week's episode:- Beating the heat- The Multiverse's Least Competent Stormcast Eternal- A genuinely evil evil empire- Running Sad Artsy Games - Britannia Rues The Waves- Some bollocks about an ambulatory tube of paintAnd many more. We…
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Episode 152 - Untitled Sorority Project
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54:22
There's only one way to put this spirit to rest - and that's by hosting the dankest party this campus has ever seen. Also in this week's episode:- Ending a campaign- What gives someone magic?- 21 Jeff BridgesWe love you. Stay safe out there. In there? Anyway. G+CDoor Chris Taylor & Grant Howitt
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Episode 151 - Cannonball Dungeon Run
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47:08
Cities on wheels? Boring. Tired. DONE. Dungeons on wheels? That's the next big thing, baby! Hop on, strap in and get ready for the ride of your life! Also in this week's episode:- Doing stuff other than playing games whilst playing games- A NORMAL game for NORMAL people- Improving low level D&D with the addition of magical bullshit- Secret Lemonade…
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Episode 150 - Night Night Sensible Ghost
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Terrible and wonderful news! Grant has replaced the need to think up original ideas with a random game name generator that spits out pure gold* every time. Sorry, games design studios. Your time is up.In this week's episode:- Cursed arrow orchards (archards?)- Stitching five games together into a sort of Frankenstein's monster- How granular do you …
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Episode 149 - Session Omega
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Sure, we all love STARTING campaigns - but who wants to actually go through the long-winded process of PLAYING the damned thing? With our new Dungeons and Dragons module, we'll ensure that no game ever fizzles out because you'll be able to explosively detonate your plot within 45 minutes or less. Or your money back!Also:- Session Zero advice- New A…
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Episode 148: Darkest Marshes
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37:11
Bit of a shorter episode this week - we're running an online convention on the HDF Discord, dontcherknow. Coming up this week:- Easily avoidable mistakes that every new game designer makes- How to use published adventures (it involves a red pen and judicious editing)- Also we actually design a real game? Not just one with a rhyming celebrity title …
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Episode 147 - Contact Pictionary
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57:39
Who would win in a fight? We spend the first half of the episode dealing with such fantastical matchups as:- The X-Men versus The Omen- Nigella Lawson versus Nigel Slater- Beyonce versus Gilgamesh- Kirby versus.... AnythingThen we design a game that's American Football but with drawing in it.Much love,- Grant and Chris…
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Episode 146 - Nicolas Cage Fighter
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53:56
"You've joined us for another brawl, you cheeky little blighter - come for the guts and blood and gore in NICOLAS CAGE FIGHTER!"Also in this week's episode:- Bottle episodes- An extended discussion about the ill-advised Cyberpunk 203X- Theoretical collector's editions of RPGs- A game set entirely within one room, because there's not enough of that …
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Episode 145 - Steptoe & Gun
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Things are weird right now but we're back, baby - kicking in the metaphorical door of your isolation and figuratively stomping around your flat, yelling at everything and clearing out your imaginary liquor cabinet.In this week's episode:- A Quake RPG?- Planning, and not planning- Running games over the internet, for obvious reasons- A sort of stack…
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Episode 144 - Andy McNab's Fab Cab
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1:04:29
We were off for a bit, but we're back now. JUST YOU WATCH. Or, rather: JUST YOU LISTEN. In this week's show:- Best subsystems?- Disappointing scenarios- Mechanical feedback for cool jackets, neat haircuts and the like- Players that feel scared of Doing It Wrong- Fred Burst- Normal People Don't Need Drugs: A Superhero Drug Game- NFLHeim: Realm of Mi…
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Episode 143 - Stars Of Eternity
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We're confident that we can build a fully-realised world in Unity for just under ten thousand dollars, and what's more, we have support for horses, eighteen kinds of magic, three different kinds of catgirl and something we're calling ULTIMATE LIFE PATH DEVELOPMENT.Also in this episode:- Getting back into GMing after an extended break- Big setting o…
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Episode 142 - National Trust
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What's that, up in the rafters? Why, it's Nicolas Cage, scrabbling around the roof like a big horrible spider and trying to suck secrets out of the ceiling! What a scamp. Also in this week's episode:- How to reveal where the next thing in the plot is happening- An extended reminiscence of Chris' youth as a martial artist- Elimination rounds for con…
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