From her TikTok and Instagram, @findingmrheight, dating coach Ali Jackson is joined by friend & stand up comedian Erica Spera (@spericaa) to bring you their positive and practical dating approach in podcast form. Their straightforward attitudes, often with some humor on the side, will help you tackle modern dating issues while building confidence and staying authentic to your true self. Follow along @findingmrheight for even more content!
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Pregnancy loss support and connection in the heartbreak of terminating a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR). Interviews with real TFMR parents & grief support and stories from professionals, released bi-monthly. To join our support community go to: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup.html
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193. The Nobody Wants This One
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Did you binge Nobody Wants This on Netflix as quickly as we did? Ali & Erica are diving into the show that took over our social media feeds (and for good reason) and how it relates to real-life dating. For Ali, the early days of the characters’ relationship hits very close to home and both gals contemplate how they’d react to some of the scenarios …
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TFMR IS a disability issue with Ali Emerald, TFMR for maternal health reasons
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After Ali Emerald lost her baby Paris to TFMR for maternal reasons, she went on to become a somatic embodiment coach to help herself and others work through trauma and grief. Ali’s pregnancy set in motion conditions that led her to need an organ transplant. In this episode we talk about the intersection between disability rights and reproductive ju…
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192. The International Long Distance One ft. Kacie Rose
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Have you ever dreamed of travelling abroad and meeting the love of your life? Kacie Rose (@kacierose_ on IG) just did that and she’s here to tell us all about dating long distance and cross-culturally. We discuss her best tips for long distance, what worked in managing conflicts between her and her now-fiancé, and how dating an Italian man is diffe…
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191. The Sixteenth Hot Topics One
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Have a question? Erica & Ali are here to answer it! This week, we answer three listener questions. First, a woman has been setting her friend up on dates and wonders if she should share “exit interview” feedback with her. Second, when should you share potential dealbreaker like pet allergies with a date? Lastly, a listener considers canceling a dat…
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190. The You Love & You Learn One Ft. Sarah Yudkin
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Do you experience anxiety in dating and relationships? Worrying that you’ll say the wrong thing, be in the wrong relationship, or ruin things with the right one? Sarah Yudkin, relationship anxiety coach and host of You Love and You Learn podcast, has some soothing words for you (and us!). Sarah shares how her own experience with her now fiance shap…
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Caring for your mental health in crisis times with Erica Rozmid, TFMR Psychologist
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Erica Rozmid, board certified behavioral psychologist and perinatal mental health certified, also known as TFMR Psychologist on her platforms, shares doable tips for when you are in mental health crisis after TFMR. The skills she generously relays in this episode are just a piece of what she's putting together in a mental health course for those wh…
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189. The Second SATC Theories One
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Erica & Ali are back with another hilarious (at least to us) Sex And The City episode, where we dissect its theories while acting out scenes from the show. This week, we’re covering Taxi Cab Theory, how long it takes to get over a break up, and faking orgasms (with a new character introduced!). In Updates, Erica attends a friend’s wedding…or is it …
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Research on TFMR & queer family making. Dr. E Goldblatt Hyatt shares their findings on best psychological outcomes in TFMR & advocating for LGBTQ+ families in our communities 🌈
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Today we have Dr. E Goldblatt Hyatt on the podcast with us. They are an associate professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Dr. Goldblatt Hyatt is also a private practice clinician focusing on baby loss and TFMR. We'll be talking about their research on TFMR and queer family making. ... Today's episode is sponsored by: "A way through After TFM…
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188. The Quiet the Clock One ft. Beth Gulotta
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We always hear, “it will happen when you least expect it,” but letting go of societal timelines and expectations isn’t as easy as a catchy phrase. Enter Beth Gulotta, therapist and host of Quiet The Clock podcast. We chat with Beth about quieting the noise surrounding what you “should” be doing (hint: stop using that word!) and getting more in touc…
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187. The Eleventh Grab Bag One
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This week, Ali & Erica are answering short-form listener questions, rapid fire style. We take turns asking each other things like: is it ever okay to be sexual in your dating app profile? Can you be friends with a past situationship? Is it better to be good on paper or have good chemistry? And are people ever actually bad texters, or do they just n…
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186. The Sixth Ask A Man One ft. Charles McBee
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It’s our first time doing Ask A 40-Something Man, featuring Erica’s good friend and standup comedian Charles McBee. We asked our listeners: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to ask a man?” and y’all did not disappoint! Tune in for Charles’s thoughts things like: moving on after a breakup, how much men share with their friends, and whether you …
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To tell or not to tell - when to share your TFMR story
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“How will I know when I’m ready to share my TFMR story and where and how should I share it?” We go into when and how and where you could decide to tell or NOT tell your story of ending your precious pregnancy for health reasons in this episode. SPONSORED BY THE TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM, ASCEND: If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group g…
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185. The First SATC Theories One
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Ali & Erica switch it up this week with a new episode format: discussing scenes from Sex And The City and how they apply to life today (complete with some voice acting!). We discuss lending money to friends, whether friends can be your true soulmates, & what to do if you hate going down. In Updates, Erica gets her Don’t Tell set back and works on s…
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184. The ShrinkChicks One ft. Jennifer Chaiken & Emmalee Bierly
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Erica & Ali could not HELP but let this interview with ShrinkChicks (aka Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT & Emmalee Bierly, LMFT) run a bit long because, y’all, it is incredible. The foursome starts off discussing how difficult it can be to find a therapist and offer some advice for navigating that journey. Then, we move into our most popular listener submis…
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183. The Fifteenth Hot Topics One
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Erica & Ali are back answering your questions in a Hot Topics episode this week! We counsel a listener who is nervous about having sex for the first time. Then, a listener is struggling with a guy who’s chronically late and recently stood her up. Third, Erica gives advice on navigating a herpes disclosure in your relationship. And finally, a listen…
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Terminating a wanted pregnancy led to advocacy. Riata shares her story of her baby Riana's diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot and AVSD heart defect.
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Riata shares her story of her baby Riana and the diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot and Atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD, a heart defect) and T21. Riata was 29 at the time of this first pregnancy. She had to travel for care, due to living in a very rural part of Wyoming. Riata wishes to share her story to remind those opposed to abortion that abo…
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182. The Second Debate Team One
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We’re back with another debate team episode, where Ali & Erica debate topics submitted by our listeners! We’ve got four topics up for debate this week. Let us know where you stand! Marathon dates early in the game - yay or nay? Is it okay to be late for a date? Can you date someone you work with? And finally, should you go ring shopping with your p…
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181. The Emotionally Online One ft. Maddie Dragsbaek
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Straight from your guest suggestions, we have Maddie Dragsbaek, host of the Emotionally Online podcast, in an amazing episode this week! Maddie has been opening up about her life online since before podcasts were a thing and this week is no exception. Our conversation focuses first on her bisexuality - what exploring that both privately and publicl…
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Journaling & writing to honor all our losses and babies. Carmen Grover, author of A Diary to My Babies, shares her story of 5 separate miscarriages and 2 TFMRs.
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Carmen Grover is mom to 11 babies, 4 earthside and 7 in her heart. These are their names in order: Amity, Will, Kaia, Baby G, Case, Maelie, Butterfly Baby, Jude, Aida, Zach, and Charlotte. She is the author of A Diary to My Babies and the journal companion to that grief memoir, A Diary to Our Babies. Two of her losses have been to TFMR and she's co…
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180. The First Updates One
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Erica & Ali have so many updates to share this week that we did an episode full of them (plus a lot of girl talk in between)! Erica is fresh off her third date with Tony Soprano and is on the fence about a fourth (until she accidentally pushes herself off). The gals get into a great discussion about the frustration of someone being “good on paper” …
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179. The Attachment Solution One ft. Charisse Cooke
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Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke is back on the pod this week and Erica & Ali could have talked to her for hours! Our conversation focuses on attachment theory, answering listener questions such as how to self soothe an anxious attachment, best strategies for navigating an anxious/avoidant dynamic, and why avoidant attachment gets such a bad rap. In …
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When TFMR is for YOUR health. Marie-Laure shares how she lost her baby Juliette to early onset preeclampsia.
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When TFMR is for YOUR health, also called Termination for Maternal Health or Termination for the Pregnant Person’s Health, it can bring an extra layer of survivor’s guilt. Marie-Laure shares how she lost her baby Juliette to early onset preeclampsia with severe features and IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction). Her symptoms became more pronounced…
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178. The Cheating One ft. Chloe Radcliffe
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We hear about cheating a lot, but it’s rarely from the perspective of the person who does the cheating. This week, standup comedian Chloe Radcliffe opens up about her pattern of cheating (which she wrote a solo show about!). We dive into her thoughts on the origins of cheating, what she’s learned from her pattern and is applying in her new relation…
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177. The Second Past Beliefs One
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We had so much fun talking about our past beliefs the other week that we’re bringing it back for a series including your submissions! We discuss submissions such as “your person will complete you,” “trying hard isn’t cool,” and “you should share many common hobbies with your partner.” Let us know if you like this series and submit more of your past…
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Termination for anencephaly. Samantha explains how this loss has impacted her relationships and spirituality.
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Samantha is a TFMR mom who lost her second daughter to anencephaly at 17 weeks pregnant. She came on today to share how this great loss has shifted her relationships and beliefs. Resources mentioned: 1. ASCEND TFMR Grief Circle - If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles …
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176. Storytime: Dating With Depression
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Ali & Erica are joined this week by Kelly, a listener who wrote in to share her story about dating with depression & anxiety. Kelly shares her journey towards getting diagnosed, how depression impacted her dating, & what growing in her first serious relationship has been like. It’s a powerful, relatable story that we can’t wait to share. But first,…
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175. The First Past Beliefs One
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We asked for your submissions about dating philosophies or “rules” you used to believe, but don’t anymore, and WOW did you deliver! So much so that we’ll be continuing this topic in future episodes. We’re starting this week with things that Ali & Erica used to believe, but don’t anymore, such as: when you know you know, men should ask women out for…
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A book of TFMR stories & why these stories NEED to be told w/ Ale Muñoz, co-author & editor of Flowers in Our Womb
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Ale Muñoz, co-author and editor of TFMR story anthology “Flowers in Our Womb” shares the inspiration behind this book and why sharing your own story of TFMR pregnancy loss can be so transformative. Find Flowers in Our Womb on Amazon in Kindle (e-book), paperback, and hardcover https://a.co/d/5jAa5eF Resources mentioned: 1.“Releasing a Wanted Pregna…
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174. The First Debate Team One
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We’re debuting a new segment on the pod this week…Debate Team! Ali & Erica will each be assigned a side of a debate and debate each other. This week, we’re starting with “should you live together before getting engaged?” and “can you be friends with an ex?” It gets especially fun when we have to argue for the side we don’t actually agree with! But …
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173. The Date Brazen One ft. Lily Womble
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Erica & Ali welcome feminist dating coach and debut author Lily Womble to the pod this week! We chat about bringing more joy into your dating life, how to narrow down your search to what Lily calls essences-based preferences, and how to reframe your mindset when you feel like you’re “too much.” Order Lily’s book, Thank You More Please, out June 11t…
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Back to work in high-risk maternal and perinatal postpartum healthcare after TFMR with Alissa, mother to Seamus
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Alissa shares how she got a “grey” diagnosis (a term for a condition that could be survivable through fatal, on a spectrum of outcomes) for her baby in her second trimester which led to a decision to end her wanted pregnancy. As a postpartum and high-risk NICU and PICU healthcare worker herself, she felt that her prior knowledge and vicarious lived…
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172. The Fourteenth Hot Topics One
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It’s a slightly new Hot Topics format, with both listener questions and a couple AITA situations. First, Ali & Erica debate if a man is the a-hole for not helping his wife carry things in from the car and whether a women is the a-hole for not giving up her comfy coffee shop chair. Then, we answer two listener questions: one listener who is concerne…
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171. The FMH Feedback One
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We asked for feedback and you delivered!! This week, Ali & Erica are going through the biggest takeaways and themes from our podcast survey and previewing what’s to come for the future of the pod. We dig deep on our own opportunities for growth, taking into account both what the listeners shared as well as our own reflections. It’s a vulnerable con…
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170. The Second Therapy Jeff One ft. Jeff Guenther
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Back by popular demand, Therapy Jeff (aka Jeff Guenther, LPC) is on the pod answering your burning questions. We dive into topics such as: what does it mean if I attract emotionally available people? How to approach pre-marital counseling? What does it mean to “settle” and how do I know if I am? As always, Jeff’s advice is on point with some laughs…
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169. The Deeper Questions One
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Erica & Ali are getting deep this week, going through all sorts of questions you can use to connect on first dates, in early dating, or even when already in a relationship. We’re answering our favorite ones plus listing a few you probably shouldn’t ask. Let’s start having some more interesting conversations! In Updates, Erica meets a new man (or is…
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168. The A Little Nudge One ft. Erika Ettin
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Erica & Ali are diving into the apps with dating coach & app expert Erika Ettin of @alittlenudge. We talk about whether it really matters what opener you send (hint: YES), how to deal with dating app burnout, and why Erika recommends dating NATO (not attached to outcome). But first, Erica is back from a rejuvenating Bachelorette weekend while Ali h…
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Ending a wanted pregnancy for T21. Plus IVF and pregnancy after loss. Becky shares her story
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Becky shares her story of IVF and embryo loss followed by TFMR for Down’s Syndrome. After all the fertility challenges, she was able to get pregnant again with what is currently a healthy pregnancy. Listen in to her journey through pregnancy after TFMR and how she lives with grief and hope at the same time. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support Cir…
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167. The Roundup One
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Erica & Ali are bouncing around in a roundup episode this week, chatting about recent dating-related news items. First, we have some updates from last week’s ep! Then, we dive into the risks of buying a house with someone you’re not married to (Tom & Ariana, anyone?) and discuss why dating apps have been on a downswing. Erica has a “friendly” updat…
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Healing through story & body practices after TFMR, fertility loss, recurrent miscarriage and stillbirth. Jenn Hepton shares her wisdom with us.
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Jenn Hepton, parenting coach and founder of Motherhood Redefined + Loss in Transition shares her story of losing twins to TFMR, her other fertility and miscarriage losses and stillbirth of baby Loey. Even through all these tragic losses, Jenn shares light and healing through EFT, the "T.I.M.E. technique" and hypnobreathwork - practices she has used…
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166. The Female Friendships One ft. Danielle Bayard Jackson
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Ali & Erica are back for another episode about friendship, featuring incredible friendship coach, Danielle Bayard Jackson! Danielle’s upcoming book, Fighting for Our Friendships, is all about the science behind women’s relationships and she brings us SO much knowledge: from deepening your bond with an acquaintance, to the influence our friends have…
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165. The First Date One
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Ali & Erica have a first date guide for you this week! We’re breaking down everything you need to know: getting from dating app convo to date, pre-date texting guidelines, first date arrival logistics, conversation tips to avoid and awkwardness, and so much more. In Updates, Erica finds out why people call LA “Flake City” as she prepares for multip…
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Have you ever gotten the ick from a match or a date? Ali & Erica have rounded up all sorts of icks from the listeners and we’re debating them on this week’s episode. It’s a fun and silly one this week! In Updates, Ali goes on a thoughtful fourth date with Mr. Worldwide. Meanwhile, Erica is excited to be back in LA for a while, making swiping easier…
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T18 diagnosis & abortion for medical reasons and grieving in a time of collective grief and genocide. Liz shares her story.
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Liz tells her story of receiving an Edward's Syndrome (also known as T18) diagnosis and coming up against restrictive abortion laws and little understanding in the abortion space for her pregnancy loss. She also shares her experience with grieving during a time of massive loss with the Palestinian genocide. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support Cir…
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163. The Pretty Much Done One ft. Julia Mazur
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Have you ever considered picking up and moving to a new city? Julia Mazur, host of the Pretty Much Done podcast, did just that. Having spent her whole life in Los Angeles, she moved to Austin after a break up and has never been happier. And, in addition, to her move, we get into a great discussion about hyper-independence and how it can affect rela…
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162. The Thirteenth Hot Topics One
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Ali & Erica are back with questions submitted by you, the listeners! We start with the age-old question: should you give a ghost a second chance? Then, a listener has a crush at work - how can she get this man on a date? Or should she give up? And lastly, we advise a listener who is about to visit a long-distance situationship. But first, Ali has q…
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161. The Ask A Matchmaker One ft. Maria Avgitidis
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Your calls have been answered…Matchmaker Maria is back on the pod!! We’re answering all sorts of listener questions, Ask A Matchmaker style. For example: how do you balance a hoe phase with dating intentionally? What should you learn about someone before sleeping with them? And so much more… In Updates, Ali has an awesome first date with Mr. Worldw…
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160. The Meeting IRL One
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How do people meet IRL these days?! Are there things we can be doing, places we can going, openers we can be using to make it all feel easier? This week, Ali & Erica are breaking down their best tips on meeting people “in the wild” plus sharing some of yours. We cover everything from body language when you’re out alone to opening lines for a cute s…
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159. The Hello Hayes One ft. Alexandra Hayes
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Ali & Erica are welcoming an advice column legend to the pod this week…it’s Hello Hayes, answering all your questions about friendships! We start by diving into her Six Besties Theory and then get to your questions - ranging from navigating a friendship breakup to feeling like the odd one out in your friend group. In Updates, the girls report back …
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Robin shares her TFMR for a giant omphalocele story & TTC (trying to conceive) again after loss
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Robin Imholte, a TFMR mom and mom to a rainbow baby born after loss, tells her story of her baby's giant omphalocele diagnosis, a condition where organs are developing (or very poorly developing) outside of the body cavity. She shares her struggle with TTC (trying to conceive) after the death of her baby Ellie. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support…
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158. The Test Test Manifest One
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Dating apps getting sued? Financial columnist scammed out of $50k? Ali & Erica reading a book about manifesting? We’re rounding up the week’s most unbelievable stories on this week’s episode. Tune in for our (non-lawyer) verdicts on the dating app case, our advice for future scam attempts, and the kickoff to the next few weeks of attempting to mani…
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