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380: Drawing in something new
Manage episode 444508812 series 3023022
On todays episode Betsy talks about her journey the past 37 days of getting in a good feeling place before taking action on any areas of her life. She shares some ways you can begin this process and start retraining your mind and nervous system for more clarity and happiness. She explains how she’s seeing this show up in her day to day life and how it’s impacting her future. Listen in to the show today to get started on your own alignment journey.
Transcript:
Betsy [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, everyone. Hello.
Betsy [00:00:34]:
Welcome to the art of living big. I’m excited to do today’s show. I have quite a few updates, and if you’ve been here a long time, you know, sometimes I call these like coffee talk episodes. So go get your cup of coffee. And we’re going to just pretend that we’re really good friends and that I’ve got some things to share. You know, over the last month or so, I have shared some of the things that I have been working on personally, and I told you about how I had hired a hypnotherapist and sort of that whole experience. So I want to give you an update on that. And I want to talk to you just about a process, let me say it this way, a process that I have been doing now for the past 37 days and sort of how it started, starting to shift things.
Betsy [00:01:21]:
So, you know, in our last episode, if you haven’t listened to that one, I talked about really being in a place of, I’m going to use this word, but a place of alignment, like a place where you felt joy. And we talked about the levels of consciousness and about how to move up and down the emotional scale and how sometimes moving up the scale may seem counterintuitive. If we’re really bored or we’re depressed, moving into anger is actually moving us up the scale closer to joy. Right. And the idea is that we’re always moving closer to a place that feels good. And if we go to, you know, think about Eckhart Tolle and him talking about how we have to be present in the moment, that’s the only place that you can start to move in this way. So, you know, as we all have, like, these journeys and ups and downs and moving towards and away different practices that have really worked for us over the past 37 days, I have been moving into a place of shifting so that I’m moving up the scale of consciousness. Now, if you’re inside the navigate method, you’ve heard me talk about this, but we want to be in a really good feeling place as we make decisions.
Betsy [00:02:43]:
If we’re making decisions from a place of really low energy, a place of feeling depressed or angry. The solutions that we’re going to get are going to be solutions from a place of being depressed or angry. And those aren’t typically the most creative solutions to problems. So what we want to do is we want to get in the feeling of what it’s like to already have solved the problem and then take a look around and see what’s going on. So then how do we even do that? Like, how do I get into a place where I feel like I’ve solved the problem? Like, that all can be really confusing, and I think it’s a practice, and so I want to talk about that practice and really how I have been doing it over the past couple months. And some of the things that I’ve noticed, you know, I say 37 days, so 37 days. I really started refining my process. But probably about two months ago, every morning, I started simply writing a short paragraph.
Betsy [00:03:45]:
Like, it wasn’t like I was writing pages and pages. It was a short paragraph about my life as it is, with all the things that I would really like to experience in doing that. It got me really hyped for it. It’s really as simple as that. I started writing about it, which made me feel like I was in it, which brought me to this place of feeling really good. And so I didn’t start any work before I got to that place. And then 37 days ago, I decided to go on another process. I decided for 40 days I was going to really hone in on appreciation.
Betsy [00:04:28]:
And, you know, I think appreciation and gratitude are, like, a little bit different. Like, if I’m like, oh, my God, I’m so grateful, it feels to me, and maybe not to you, but to me, there’s a little tiny edge of thirstiness in that. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, my God, I’m so grateful. Thank you. But if I say, I really appreciate that, that. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate those things coming into my awareness today. And so how I’ve been starting every day is still doing that same practice of writing that quick paragraph.
Betsy [00:05:05]:
And like I said, y’all, it’s like, you know, four sentences. It’s not like some big, long rampage. It’s just something quick to pull me into the feeling. And then I write down five things that I appreciate. So it is so easy in the morning to get really focused on all of the things that we need to do or to get focused on all of the current worry that we’ve decided is really important to think about. And if we want to shift that pattern, we’ve got to fill it up with something else. Like, you know, nature abhors a vacuum, right? So if we take something away, we’ve got to fill it with something else. And so many times when people get in a pattern or a habit of worry, which, when you’ve got big stuff going on, worry is.
Betsy [00:05:59]:
I mean, I get it. You know, like, that’s a typical or really conventional sort of response, is to mull it over, right? To, like, really think about it, dissect it, think about all the ways this could go wrong and what I need to be on the lookout for. And our brains are wired for that. You know, our brains don’t want us to miss something important. And so it’s scanning all the time for danger. So if we want to shift that, then we’ve got to really be conscious about it. And that’s the whole idea of staying in the now. Because if I’m not noticing and I’m not in the now, that pattern can go on and on.
Betsy [00:06:38]:
And what happens when I’m spending a lot of time worrying is the same exact thing that’s happening when I spend a lot of time appreciating, is I’m creating momentum. And so it’s just a decision of which way you want to create momentum. And I decided I really wanted to create momentum, and I wanted to make decisions. Mostly, this was, like, a big thing for me. I wanted to make decisions based on what felt really good, so not necessarily what seemed reasonable or even what I could afford or what made sense. I wanted to just be able to make choices based on that feels so fun, or that feels, like, so expansive. And so 37 days ago, I started doing this practice where every day I would write down not only my little thing about how my life is in the now, right? So it’s already that way, because I want to get in the feeling of it. Then I would write down five things that I appreciate, and one of the things that I realized right off in the morning was that I was getting hooked on worry or thinking about things that I didn’t want.
Betsy [00:07:48]:
Right. The unwanted. And so to take that time and to say I’m going to just really, really intentionally choose things I wasn’t going to write down, like my health, my family, which all those things may be true, but I wanted to be really specific. So, like, the sound of the birds and how I can feel that calming my nervous system, right? The sweetness of the creamer in my coffee. Or let’s be honest here, it’s like the coffee that gets put in my creamer, it’s mostly creamer, but like that, the sweet of taste of that with the coffee, like how good and yummy that is, right? If there’s a breeze. You know, one day I wrote that I appreciated so much that, that I was sweating. I was sitting out on the porch and it’s supposed to be fall here, but I was sweating. And then I was like, but how cool that my body is doing that.
Betsy [00:08:46]:
Right off I thought, ugh, I’m so sweaty. And then because I had started this practice, I’m sure of it, immediately my brain shifted and said, that’s really badass that your body is able to do that. I’m sure there are people in the world that aren’t able to sweat, and I bet that’s a huge problem, right? So writing down these things so that my brain is starting to learn how to move into a place of looking, almost like looking for the bright side. I mean, that moment, you know, where I thought, I’m sweaty and this is gross, I was able to shift really fast, and I unconsciously, like, that happened without my conscious pushing. And that happened because I had been doing this every day, every day, every day. And when I have gone about my day, you know, I’m writing down those five things in the morning, but then I’ve got a day, right? And a lot can happen in 24 hours if I’m not being present. And so I started to really notice where I was feeling alignment, like, when I was doing something and it felt really fun. I would think, like, this feels really fun.
Betsy [00:09:54]:
Like doing this right now, this feels really fun. Like, I love recording the podcast and I love sharing all this stuff. I love that it doesn’t have that. I don’t have notes, you know, that I just talk like I have an idea and then I just talk like, I think that’s really cool. I mean, I think probably a lot of people can do that, but probably a lot of people can’t. So it feels a little bit like a cool thing. Like, I really enjoy it. I’ve had Halloween candy, and I put up my Halloween decorations, and I love my Halloween decorations.
Betsy [00:10:27]:
So I’m pointing this stuff out because sometimes the ordinary stuff to us, the stuff that’s just like, well, yeah, well, I get on and record the podcast. We’re doing it for eight years. Of course it’s easy, but that’s really cool. And you have stuff like that, too. Like, what do you do all the time that you just take for granted because you think well, that’s just what I do, but that’s actually really cool. And when you can start to be in the present moment and start noticing when you feel in flow, right. When you feel really good, then it’s easier for you to not only rise up that emotional guidance scale, right, that consciousness scale, and for you to be landing in a much better place over and over and over again throughout the day. Right.
Betsy [00:11:14]:
We’re gonna go up and down as things happen. I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to just be flat and in, like, absolute joy all the time. Like, I don’t think that’s. I don’t think that’s real life, and I don’t think that’s what we came here to have. I think we came here to have a really wide range of emotion. And so I’m great if I feel sad or if I feel angry or if I feel any of those uncomfortable emotions, you know, that sometimes we think of as, like, unwanted. Like, I am totally okay with that. And I love that.
Betsy [00:11:47]:
I can then shift it. I can have it. It’s giving me information. Oh, I don’t like this. I’m doing this task, and I really don’t like it. I should see if I can hire that out as opposed to before, when I wasn’t being as conscious. And I really think this practice that I’ve been doing over the past 37 days has started to retrain me. Where then throughout the day, it becomes much easier to be aware of it.
Betsy [00:12:18]:
You know, I posted inside our Facebook group, there’s the art of living, big community Facebook group. And, you know, I have really spent some time thinking about this group and sitting thinking because there’s not a lot of interaction. If you’re in that group, please post, interact with each other. Like, there’s so much brainpower in that group that I wish people would share and ask questions and get feedback from other people and me as well. But I think that there’s so much happening in there that could be really amazing. One of the things that I posted was years ago, we used to do something in there called the possibility posse. So Pam Grout has been on the podcast several times. If you’re familiar with Pam Grout, she wrote that book e squared.
Betsy [00:13:07]:
She’s a hay house author. She’s really incredible. And she’s been on the show a couple times. And one of the times she was on, she talked about how she had this possibility posse with her girlfriends, and what happened was they would spend the day and they would start collecting joy. And at the end of the night, they had a group text, and they would all just text each other with, like, the top couple things that felt really fun that day. There wasn’t an expectation of everybody responding. It was a way for them to be training their brains and also to share that, those little sparks of joy. And then their friends would see it and they would go, oh, that’s cool, like, she’s having a good day, or this cool thing happened.
Betsy [00:13:52]:
And I loved that so much. And so many years ago, I started doing a possibility posse inside the Facebook group where how we did it was on Mondays. I would post something like picture of an owl or a fish or whatever, and then throughout the day or throughout the week, people would be looking to find it, right? And it was fun. It was sort of like a scavenger hunt, but it’s also you training your brain to be looking for something, to be scanning for something that you want. And so. And plus, it was fun, you know what I mean? And you don’t need a reason for joy. So I started that again. I posted, so if you’re in the Facebook group, go and look for that this week.
Betsy [00:14:28]:
It’s a fish. I thought we would see a fish. I thought with everything going on in the world right now, a fish might be something that we see. And if all else fails, somebody is on match.com, and there’s plenty of men with fish in the profile photos. So I thought this would just be a fun one. But maybe start a possibility posse with your friends, but start a practice of being in appreciation. And again, I’m going to say it like that, gratitude is great, but I like the edge of appreciation. I like how that feels.
Betsy [00:15:04]:
You know how it feels. To me, it’s like the same font as when you’re late. And instead of saying, oh, my God, I’m so sorry I’m late, you say, thank you so much for waiting. Do you see what I mean? Like, there’s, like, this little shift that I think moves us to a higher place. I think it feels really good. So as I’ve been going throughout this process, so this is the next thing I want to talk about. So, as I’ve been going through this process, I have been really trying to notice, not trying, I have been really noticing where and when I feel really good and also choosing to do things that feel good. There have been times, and maybe you guys do this, too, where I’ll get an idea and then I’ll be like, yeah, but I don’t know how to figure that out, or I should do that.
Betsy [00:15:53]:
But maybe someday, like, I really want to learn how to, um, how to knit, which makes me feel very old. I just said that out loud. But I do. I want to learn how to knit, and at some point I’m going to. But even when I say that, there’s, like, a lot of pieces to it and I’m working on some other things right now, but I decided those little things that came up, I was going to move down the path, right? And so one of the things that I really noticed over the past two months probably was that I eat out a lot. We eat out a lot, pick up food, eat out a lot. I hate it. Not only do I hate, like, spending money for it’s always crappy food, it’s never good.
Betsy [00:16:35]:
It never makes me feel good. Like, I hate eating out. But I was doing it all the time because I wasn’t being present, I was being mindless, and I was just, like, having a pattern, you know? And so when I realized that, I was like, you know what? I really hate this. I’m not gonna do it anymore unless it’s something I really want. You know, sometimes on the weekends, my daughter and I will run and get bagels from this bagel place I really like. And I really love the bagels. And it feels fun, and it feels. It’s a cool place, and it feels fun to go there.
Betsy [00:17:07]:
Cause it feels cool. And it reminds me that I live in the city, which is so fun to me. And so all of that around, all of that feels really good. But picking up wings or whatever heck else it was that we were getting, it doesn’t feel good to me. And so I started to think about, like, well, I’m not a. I’m not a cook historically. Do you notice how I said, I am? I am not a cook. But then I was like, I talk every day about how you can be things you’ve never been.
Betsy [00:17:37]:
So maybe I like to cook. Like, what if I do like to cook? But I had always been in a state of emergency or stress, you know? And if you’ve been here for a long time, you know, like, I was a single mom for a long time, and then my daughter was really sick for years. Like, there was a lot of stress where cooking really felt like a luxury. And I don’t know that I could get to a place. I’m going to say it like this because this is how it feels right now, but get to a place where I could take the time to actually cook. Like, it felt like just a waste of time. There was so much to do, and I realized that that now was a pattern and that I don’t feel like that anymore. And so I really.
Betsy [00:18:22]:
I went on TikTok, and I started finding recipes, and I created a folder, you know, for recipes. Food. Food. My food folder on TikTok, and I found some really fun things, and I have been making some really yummy things that include a lot of chopping. And I have found that I really love chopping. Like, if there is a salad that says to chop something to a size of confetti, I’m like, I am all in. I will chop. I have grown to really love my knives, and I have gotten into, like, sharpening my knives and, which sounds kind of sinister when I say it out loud, but sharpening my knives and.
Betsy [00:19:05]:
And just being creative and having these big salads. If you guys have seen, like, the dense bean salad trend on TikTok. So I’ve done the dense bean salad, that goddess salad, which is like the chopped up, like, confetti cabbage with the green dressing, and you use tortilla chips to eat it. Like, I’ve had so much fun and have eaten so much better, but also, it created a mindfulness for me. It gave me a place to connect with my daughter in the kitchen. She’ll come over sometime, and I’ll cook, and she’ll sit at the island and just talk to me. And it actually is. It.
Betsy [00:19:41]:
It really brings me a lot of joy. I have been listening to podcasts more, and I’m going to talk about that, but getting into some podcasts that I really wanted to listen to, or music that I really wanted to listen to, or audiobooks and just having my head set on and chopping away, you know, creating stuff. I’ve been making bread, which I turned into my whole personality for about two weeks. So I have been noticing that there are things that feel really aligning, and I have been allowing myself to do those things. I use that word really intentionally allowing, because I think that we stop ourselves many times from doing the things that feel joyful, I think. And I. And I raised my hand in this. I’m not saying you.
Betsy [00:20:30]:
Me too. But I would be too busy or too stressed. Right. And over the past year and a half of really working on my nervous system, I can feel that there’s more room for joy. You know, there’s more room for me to be able to explore these things. One of the other things I realized is that I’m getting more and more interested in like, longer form content. So I was, you know, in the TikTok thing for a while, short little videos, and that felt fun to me. I tried to be intentional, but I wasn’t always.
Betsy [00:21:06]:
And then you would find that I was in a TikTok, like, scrolling videos, you know, like you would like a real scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, but more as an opting out. And so I really started noticing when I was doing that, and then what was the underlying feeling that I was avoiding and then dealing with that feeling. I’ve been doing a lot of NLP. I have my own coach, like we’ve talked about. And so I’ve been really identifying those so that I can bring them to the coaching session and say, this is something I’ve noticed. Can you help me process through this thing? And what that has led to is me enjoying a lot more long form content. And one of the things that I have found, there’s a woman on YouTube. Her name is Cecilia Blomdahl, and she lives in Svelbard, which is north of Sweden.
Betsy [00:21:58]:
And I started her. Her videos are so cozy. You know, it’s snowing outside, and she’s cozy in front of the fire, and she’s interesting and talks about where she lives and all the different things that they do there. She’s swedish, but she speaks incredible English. And so it’s easy to listen to and to follow, and it’s making me wonder, you know, several years ago, I went to Iceland, and I really loved it. Like my soul, like, soul loved it. Somebody messaged me soon after that and asked me about my astro chart and about how there’s, like, lines in the globe where we sort of line up and belong. You might know what that’s called.
Betsy [00:22:46]:
It’s escaping me at the moment, but it’s like astro charting or something. But in that I remember I went to a website and looked, and my line went really close to Iceland. It was in the middle of the ocean, which makes sense to me because I have that weird thing with salt water. But it was really close to Iceland. And I remember when I was in Iceland, I don’t know. You know, I grew up in Vermont, but I haven’t been back in snowy weather in so long. And I don’t know if it just was nostalgia or the cozy. I forgot what it was like.
Betsy [00:23:19]:
I mean, I’m in Atlanta, so it’s, like, hot and sweaty. I mean, it’s October and it’s hot and sweaty, and I forgot what cozy felt like. And so as I found this Cecilia, it just started making me wonder if I’m going to flow towards another trip, you know, to Iceland, maybe. I would really like to go back to the blue lagoon. It was so beautiful and cool. It just felt really good to me. Or if I’m gonna go to Svelbard, I don’t know that I’ll go that far north, but there’s something pulling me. So I have found both this, like, long form content being really interesting to me and also, like, being drawn to this, like, cozy, cool weather kind of adventure, you know, and what that could really mean for me.
Betsy [00:24:07]:
Some of the other things that I have found to be really aligning when I’m doing that morning writing. And I have been an iPad girly for a long time, and you may have even heard me talk about when I do my deep streaming, which is like my meditation and automatic writing, where I ask my. My inner knower questions. I have always been an iPad or typing, but I have been really loving paper and writing. I got an ink and volt goal planner, so it’s not like a planner, like a day to day planner, but it’s like you set your goals for the week, and I have been really into that and colored markers and different pens that has been really aligning and fun, and it’s something that I use throughout the day that puts me in this aligned place so I can notice. And it might sound kind of silly, but that’s. Those are the kinds of little things that I’m looking for. Right.
Betsy [00:25:04]:
So as you’re thinking about this, like, what can be bringing me into alignment if you’re a pen girly, like, if I have a good pen, I mean, that is like, it’s bliss, right? So I have just been leaning into that. What feels really good, you know, writing on pen and paper, the whole analog, like, thing going on, moving my body. You know, I have really created space for myself. In the morning, I started doing the kind of morning journaling thing here in the last couple months, and then I was like, now that I’m in this good feeling place, I want to move my body. Which if you’ve been here for a long time, if you’re new here, then I’ll tell you. Years ago, I used to own a crossfit gym. Like, I have been movement my whole life. And then I think perimenopause sort of slowed me down and probably being busy and stressed, and when I move into stress, that’s sort of edge where I cut off everything else because I get really, like, aerodynamic, focused on what it is that’s causing me stress, which isn’t always healthy.
Betsy [00:26:14]:
So this practice of getting aligned every morning in a really intentional way created space for me to want to move my body again, which to me means my stress is becoming lower and I’m getting in a place where I can really start to see what’s good for me and what’s not good for me. And I think that moving is really good. I mean, it feels good, right, when you do it right, when you’re doing something that’s fun and your body feels good and you feel like that good body tired after or even a little sore the next couple days, you know, just to have that movement in my body again. But on the other side, I’m also noticing things starting to fall away, maybe things that I used to do or people I used to spend time with. There just isn’t the alignment anymore, and it doesn’t feel forced. It doesn’t feel like I’m having to make this big decision to, like, cut somebody out of my life. I don’t mean that. Or cut a practice out of my life.
Betsy [00:27:20]:
It’s not that. It’s more like I’m moving so much into adding joy and alignment that there’s not room for the other. So it doesn’t feel like a running from something. It feels like moving towards more good. And so much good is coming in that the other is just dropping off. And there’s things that happen now that I look at, and it just feels bonkers. And I’m like, the alignment, the alignment has shifted so much that it almost seems like a different person. Right? And I think that we all grow and change, and I think there are times in our lives where there’s a leap.
Betsy [00:28:05]:
You know, I mean, you could say like a quantum leap, but a big shift in who you are and how you’re showing up and how you’re thinking and then how you used to be just seems bonkers. Right? It just seems like. Well, that seems really funny that that’s that I thought that. Right? It seems really funny that that’s what I did. It seems really funny that that was me, because that seems so different now, and I kind of love it when that happens because I want to grow and change and learn and become more of who I am. And I feel like over the past couple months, that’s happened in such a rapid rate. You know, a few months ago or a few weeks ago on the show, I talked about how I had hired that hypnotherapist and how I had to get to the root cause of a bunch of symptoms. So I went to him with all these symptoms, these things that were happening that I really wanted to shift.
Betsy [00:29:00]:
And I just said to him, you know, these are all the things. And he said, those are all the symptoms. We’ve got to get to the root cause of it. And I had that night, and I talked about it a couple weeks ago on the show, but I had that one night, it was like a Friday night, and I was, like, up all night and really think, I mean, all these memories coming in, right? All this real, like, all this pain, and, I mean, I really. I. And I think I mentioned this, but sometimes when I hear people talk about how they do, like, plant medicine, and it’s like this awful, dark night of the soul thing that happens for them during the plant medicine ceremony, and they see all the ways that they’ve been sabotaging themselves and all of that. That’s what it was like. But there was no plant medicine.
Betsy [00:29:47]:
It was just me, really. Like, really. I wanted to use the word harshly, but that’s not it. It’s like, really looking at my stuff in a raw way, like, not trying to sugarcoat it for myself. And I think we do that a lot, but really being honest with what experiences I had had, that created a lot of patterns that weren’t serving me. I mean, it was. They were hurting me at this point. They were just really, really causing me a lot of pain.
Betsy [00:30:21]:
And when I could move through that, I mean, I think I napped a couple times that night, but I was up all night and, like, journaling and writing stuff and moving through stuff and doing NLP on myself. So, like, doing a lot of my own self coaching and trying to get myself to the place where I could really understand what the root cause was. It was a belief, and when I got there, just seeing it, it was so obvious to me. It was almost crazy that I could be, like, skirting around it for so many years, you know? And it was such a relief. It changed things before I even got the hypnosis back. But I think I said, at that time, when I get the hypnosis, it’s going to be wild to see what happens. And I got it back last week, and I have been doing it every day, a couple times a day, so I’ll do it at night. There’s a nighttime one, I’ll do a morning one, and then there’s one I do in the middle of the day, really going in.
Betsy [00:31:18]:
And the first time I did, it was such a relief. I felt so light one of the symptoms, and I had taught. I did a whole show on this. One of the symptoms that I was having was that when people would comment on my instagram in a way that I perceived as negative, I would get this feeling that I can’t quite describe. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m mad that they’re saying something. It consciously I was like, there’s nothing wrong with what they’re saying. But it made this feeling of, like, deep shame in my body that I was really having a hard time showing up. I would have times where I would just be like, I.
Betsy [00:31:59]:
And you guys know, if you. You guys know, like, I love what I do. Like, I love it. I have done this for over a decade. Like, I love it. And there was a moment where I was like, do I not do this anymore? Cause this is such a terrible feeling. That’s what prompted me to hire this guy. That feeling is totally gone now.
Betsy [00:32:19]:
Totally gone now. In fact, I get messages now all the time, and I just. I don’t even care. I don’t even have to respond if I don’t want. And if I really don’t like it, I just delete it. Like, I don’t have to explain myself to them. I don’t have to get them to understand me. Like, before, there was just a lot of, like, please understand me.
Betsy [00:32:38]:
And that is just so gone now. Now all I have to do is get into a really good feeling place and make decisions from there. I don’t need anybody to understand me. I need them to either come along or not. Like, it’s totally fine. Everybody’s on a different journey. Everyone’s on a different path. And, like, that feels so good.
Betsy [00:32:58]:
So I know that there’s more and more and more changes to happen as I keep doing this and keep going down this path with the hypnosis. I love hypnosis. It’s so magical. And all you do is relax. Like, what could be better? So those are the things that I’m doing right now. Really starting to lean in to some new stuff. You know, cooking and writing, analog life, really getting in touch, you know, doing that deep streaming, moving my body and just really being present and letting go of all the baggage and shame and weird crap that we all tend to hold onto. You know, it takes some work and effort, but the other side of it is so amazing.
Betsy [00:33:43]:
Like, who knows what will happen? I’m so. I remember last year, I hired my coach, and I’ve worked with my coach on and off, like, since 2018. So I wasn’t new. But I remember last year saying, I want to work with him again, with his whole team. I want to work with him again, and I’m going to commit to that. And I remember thinking, I actually remember saying it out loud. I wonder how much I’ll change in the next year. Cause I knew I would.
Betsy [00:34:09]:
I don’t even think I anticipated this level. It’s been just a year now. I don’t even think I anticipated how much was gonna happen, you know? Yeah, well, I was gonna go down a path and tell you another story, but I don’t think I wanna just stick with what I’m saying here. I don’t think I knew. And as I’m here on the precipice of the next year, I’m like, what? Kind of wild, amazing. I feel like it cleared out all the cobwebs and now there’s like a free flowing river that I’m on. And I’m like in my own little boat, my happy boat, where I am looking up and I can see all the trees and I can hear the water and I can see the birds and rainbows and probably unicorns. And it feels so good.
Betsy [00:35:03]:
And I’m just flowing, rushing down the river and I don’t know what’s going to show up as I’m observing, like, as I’m looking around, like what will show up and come into my awareness that aligns with where I am right now. Whereas before, it felt like I was really in a lot of cobwebs, you know, and I, you know, over the last ten years, I’ve done a lot of, a lot of work, but it was like the last bit. That’s really how it feels. And it feels like now I wonder what’s going to happen this next year. Because this next year I think it’s going to be a lot of outer, like, I think I’ve gotten through so much of the inner that now there’s going to be this lot, a lot of outward change. And that feels really fun and exciting and like, who knows, who knows what will happen? So if you are on the path, which I know you are, because you wouldn’t be listening to this if you weren’t, and maybe you’re farther along than me, and if you are, then you know how great it is to come out on the other side. And if you’re not on the other side yet, it’s worth the work. It’s worth doing.
Betsy [00:36:09]:
It’s worth looking at your crap. It’s worth showing up for yourself. It’s worth hiring help to move through stuff. It is so, so worth it. So that is my thoughts for this week. Moving into a place of alignment. Take that practice. Count the days.
Betsy [00:36:26]:
I’m telling you, within 20 days of doing that, you will start to feel different. You’ll start to notice different things. Come into the Facebook group. Come into the Facebook group and jump in on the possibility posse. Share in there if you have questions or there’s something you want me to talk about or create something, a reel for. You know, I had a couple requests this week and I created reels specifically answering their questions. So, you know, please let me know. And I am going to be launching a subscription on Instagram.
Betsy [00:36:59]:
That’s sort of a new thing that has felt really fun, the thought of it. So I’m going to try it and see how it goes. So there’ll be extra content that you get, that nobody else gets. If you want to join me, it’s not going to be. I mean, it’s like $9 a month. You know, subscriptions are pretty inexpensive on Instagram, but it’ll be a place where I can really share a little bit more, give you some inside info, share some skills, and, yeah, and just be able to connect in a closer way. So look for me over there on Instagram. If you’re not already connected with me on Instagram, you will see it.
Betsy [00:37:35]:
And, yeah, let me know. Let me know how things are going. I love you guys so much. Thanks for being here, and I will see you next week. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes.
Betsy [00:37:57]:
I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to, like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Paik. And that’s my website, too, betsypake.com. and you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a dm.
Betsy [00:38:33]:
Shoot me a direct message on the, on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week.
376 afleveringen
Manage episode 444508812 series 3023022
On todays episode Betsy talks about her journey the past 37 days of getting in a good feeling place before taking action on any areas of her life. She shares some ways you can begin this process and start retraining your mind and nervous system for more clarity and happiness. She explains how she’s seeing this show up in her day to day life and how it’s impacting her future. Listen in to the show today to get started on your own alignment journey.
Transcript:
Betsy [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, everyone. Hello.
Betsy [00:00:34]:
Welcome to the art of living big. I’m excited to do today’s show. I have quite a few updates, and if you’ve been here a long time, you know, sometimes I call these like coffee talk episodes. So go get your cup of coffee. And we’re going to just pretend that we’re really good friends and that I’ve got some things to share. You know, over the last month or so, I have shared some of the things that I have been working on personally, and I told you about how I had hired a hypnotherapist and sort of that whole experience. So I want to give you an update on that. And I want to talk to you just about a process, let me say it this way, a process that I have been doing now for the past 37 days and sort of how it started, starting to shift things.
Betsy [00:01:21]:
So, you know, in our last episode, if you haven’t listened to that one, I talked about really being in a place of, I’m going to use this word, but a place of alignment, like a place where you felt joy. And we talked about the levels of consciousness and about how to move up and down the emotional scale and how sometimes moving up the scale may seem counterintuitive. If we’re really bored or we’re depressed, moving into anger is actually moving us up the scale closer to joy. Right. And the idea is that we’re always moving closer to a place that feels good. And if we go to, you know, think about Eckhart Tolle and him talking about how we have to be present in the moment, that’s the only place that you can start to move in this way. So, you know, as we all have, like, these journeys and ups and downs and moving towards and away different practices that have really worked for us over the past 37 days, I have been moving into a place of shifting so that I’m moving up the scale of consciousness. Now, if you’re inside the navigate method, you’ve heard me talk about this, but we want to be in a really good feeling place as we make decisions.
Betsy [00:02:43]:
If we’re making decisions from a place of really low energy, a place of feeling depressed or angry. The solutions that we’re going to get are going to be solutions from a place of being depressed or angry. And those aren’t typically the most creative solutions to problems. So what we want to do is we want to get in the feeling of what it’s like to already have solved the problem and then take a look around and see what’s going on. So then how do we even do that? Like, how do I get into a place where I feel like I’ve solved the problem? Like, that all can be really confusing, and I think it’s a practice, and so I want to talk about that practice and really how I have been doing it over the past couple months. And some of the things that I’ve noticed, you know, I say 37 days, so 37 days. I really started refining my process. But probably about two months ago, every morning, I started simply writing a short paragraph.
Betsy [00:03:45]:
Like, it wasn’t like I was writing pages and pages. It was a short paragraph about my life as it is, with all the things that I would really like to experience in doing that. It got me really hyped for it. It’s really as simple as that. I started writing about it, which made me feel like I was in it, which brought me to this place of feeling really good. And so I didn’t start any work before I got to that place. And then 37 days ago, I decided to go on another process. I decided for 40 days I was going to really hone in on appreciation.
Betsy [00:04:28]:
And, you know, I think appreciation and gratitude are, like, a little bit different. Like, if I’m like, oh, my God, I’m so grateful, it feels to me, and maybe not to you, but to me, there’s a little tiny edge of thirstiness in that. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, my God, I’m so grateful. Thank you. But if I say, I really appreciate that, that. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate those things coming into my awareness today. And so how I’ve been starting every day is still doing that same practice of writing that quick paragraph.
Betsy [00:05:05]:
And like I said, y’all, it’s like, you know, four sentences. It’s not like some big, long rampage. It’s just something quick to pull me into the feeling. And then I write down five things that I appreciate. So it is so easy in the morning to get really focused on all of the things that we need to do or to get focused on all of the current worry that we’ve decided is really important to think about. And if we want to shift that pattern, we’ve got to fill it up with something else. Like, you know, nature abhors a vacuum, right? So if we take something away, we’ve got to fill it with something else. And so many times when people get in a pattern or a habit of worry, which, when you’ve got big stuff going on, worry is.
Betsy [00:05:59]:
I mean, I get it. You know, like, that’s a typical or really conventional sort of response, is to mull it over, right? To, like, really think about it, dissect it, think about all the ways this could go wrong and what I need to be on the lookout for. And our brains are wired for that. You know, our brains don’t want us to miss something important. And so it’s scanning all the time for danger. So if we want to shift that, then we’ve got to really be conscious about it. And that’s the whole idea of staying in the now. Because if I’m not noticing and I’m not in the now, that pattern can go on and on.
Betsy [00:06:38]:
And what happens when I’m spending a lot of time worrying is the same exact thing that’s happening when I spend a lot of time appreciating, is I’m creating momentum. And so it’s just a decision of which way you want to create momentum. And I decided I really wanted to create momentum, and I wanted to make decisions. Mostly, this was, like, a big thing for me. I wanted to make decisions based on what felt really good, so not necessarily what seemed reasonable or even what I could afford or what made sense. I wanted to just be able to make choices based on that feels so fun, or that feels, like, so expansive. And so 37 days ago, I started doing this practice where every day I would write down not only my little thing about how my life is in the now, right? So it’s already that way, because I want to get in the feeling of it. Then I would write down five things that I appreciate, and one of the things that I realized right off in the morning was that I was getting hooked on worry or thinking about things that I didn’t want.
Betsy [00:07:48]:
Right. The unwanted. And so to take that time and to say I’m going to just really, really intentionally choose things I wasn’t going to write down, like my health, my family, which all those things may be true, but I wanted to be really specific. So, like, the sound of the birds and how I can feel that calming my nervous system, right? The sweetness of the creamer in my coffee. Or let’s be honest here, it’s like the coffee that gets put in my creamer, it’s mostly creamer, but like that, the sweet of taste of that with the coffee, like how good and yummy that is, right? If there’s a breeze. You know, one day I wrote that I appreciated so much that, that I was sweating. I was sitting out on the porch and it’s supposed to be fall here, but I was sweating. And then I was like, but how cool that my body is doing that.
Betsy [00:08:46]:
Right off I thought, ugh, I’m so sweaty. And then because I had started this practice, I’m sure of it, immediately my brain shifted and said, that’s really badass that your body is able to do that. I’m sure there are people in the world that aren’t able to sweat, and I bet that’s a huge problem, right? So writing down these things so that my brain is starting to learn how to move into a place of looking, almost like looking for the bright side. I mean, that moment, you know, where I thought, I’m sweaty and this is gross, I was able to shift really fast, and I unconsciously, like, that happened without my conscious pushing. And that happened because I had been doing this every day, every day, every day. And when I have gone about my day, you know, I’m writing down those five things in the morning, but then I’ve got a day, right? And a lot can happen in 24 hours if I’m not being present. And so I started to really notice where I was feeling alignment, like, when I was doing something and it felt really fun. I would think, like, this feels really fun.
Betsy [00:09:54]:
Like doing this right now, this feels really fun. Like, I love recording the podcast and I love sharing all this stuff. I love that it doesn’t have that. I don’t have notes, you know, that I just talk like I have an idea and then I just talk like, I think that’s really cool. I mean, I think probably a lot of people can do that, but probably a lot of people can’t. So it feels a little bit like a cool thing. Like, I really enjoy it. I’ve had Halloween candy, and I put up my Halloween decorations, and I love my Halloween decorations.
Betsy [00:10:27]:
So I’m pointing this stuff out because sometimes the ordinary stuff to us, the stuff that’s just like, well, yeah, well, I get on and record the podcast. We’re doing it for eight years. Of course it’s easy, but that’s really cool. And you have stuff like that, too. Like, what do you do all the time that you just take for granted because you think well, that’s just what I do, but that’s actually really cool. And when you can start to be in the present moment and start noticing when you feel in flow, right. When you feel really good, then it’s easier for you to not only rise up that emotional guidance scale, right, that consciousness scale, and for you to be landing in a much better place over and over and over again throughout the day. Right.
Betsy [00:11:14]:
We’re gonna go up and down as things happen. I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to just be flat and in, like, absolute joy all the time. Like, I don’t think that’s. I don’t think that’s real life, and I don’t think that’s what we came here to have. I think we came here to have a really wide range of emotion. And so I’m great if I feel sad or if I feel angry or if I feel any of those uncomfortable emotions, you know, that sometimes we think of as, like, unwanted. Like, I am totally okay with that. And I love that.
Betsy [00:11:47]:
I can then shift it. I can have it. It’s giving me information. Oh, I don’t like this. I’m doing this task, and I really don’t like it. I should see if I can hire that out as opposed to before, when I wasn’t being as conscious. And I really think this practice that I’ve been doing over the past 37 days has started to retrain me. Where then throughout the day, it becomes much easier to be aware of it.
Betsy [00:12:18]:
You know, I posted inside our Facebook group, there’s the art of living, big community Facebook group. And, you know, I have really spent some time thinking about this group and sitting thinking because there’s not a lot of interaction. If you’re in that group, please post, interact with each other. Like, there’s so much brainpower in that group that I wish people would share and ask questions and get feedback from other people and me as well. But I think that there’s so much happening in there that could be really amazing. One of the things that I posted was years ago, we used to do something in there called the possibility posse. So Pam Grout has been on the podcast several times. If you’re familiar with Pam Grout, she wrote that book e squared.
Betsy [00:13:07]:
She’s a hay house author. She’s really incredible. And she’s been on the show a couple times. And one of the times she was on, she talked about how she had this possibility posse with her girlfriends, and what happened was they would spend the day and they would start collecting joy. And at the end of the night, they had a group text, and they would all just text each other with, like, the top couple things that felt really fun that day. There wasn’t an expectation of everybody responding. It was a way for them to be training their brains and also to share that, those little sparks of joy. And then their friends would see it and they would go, oh, that’s cool, like, she’s having a good day, or this cool thing happened.
Betsy [00:13:52]:
And I loved that so much. And so many years ago, I started doing a possibility posse inside the Facebook group where how we did it was on Mondays. I would post something like picture of an owl or a fish or whatever, and then throughout the day or throughout the week, people would be looking to find it, right? And it was fun. It was sort of like a scavenger hunt, but it’s also you training your brain to be looking for something, to be scanning for something that you want. And so. And plus, it was fun, you know what I mean? And you don’t need a reason for joy. So I started that again. I posted, so if you’re in the Facebook group, go and look for that this week.
Betsy [00:14:28]:
It’s a fish. I thought we would see a fish. I thought with everything going on in the world right now, a fish might be something that we see. And if all else fails, somebody is on match.com, and there’s plenty of men with fish in the profile photos. So I thought this would just be a fun one. But maybe start a possibility posse with your friends, but start a practice of being in appreciation. And again, I’m going to say it like that, gratitude is great, but I like the edge of appreciation. I like how that feels.
Betsy [00:15:04]:
You know how it feels. To me, it’s like the same font as when you’re late. And instead of saying, oh, my God, I’m so sorry I’m late, you say, thank you so much for waiting. Do you see what I mean? Like, there’s, like, this little shift that I think moves us to a higher place. I think it feels really good. So as I’ve been going throughout this process, so this is the next thing I want to talk about. So, as I’ve been going through this process, I have been really trying to notice, not trying, I have been really noticing where and when I feel really good and also choosing to do things that feel good. There have been times, and maybe you guys do this, too, where I’ll get an idea and then I’ll be like, yeah, but I don’t know how to figure that out, or I should do that.
Betsy [00:15:53]:
But maybe someday, like, I really want to learn how to, um, how to knit, which makes me feel very old. I just said that out loud. But I do. I want to learn how to knit, and at some point I’m going to. But even when I say that, there’s, like, a lot of pieces to it and I’m working on some other things right now, but I decided those little things that came up, I was going to move down the path, right? And so one of the things that I really noticed over the past two months probably was that I eat out a lot. We eat out a lot, pick up food, eat out a lot. I hate it. Not only do I hate, like, spending money for it’s always crappy food, it’s never good.
Betsy [00:16:35]:
It never makes me feel good. Like, I hate eating out. But I was doing it all the time because I wasn’t being present, I was being mindless, and I was just, like, having a pattern, you know? And so when I realized that, I was like, you know what? I really hate this. I’m not gonna do it anymore unless it’s something I really want. You know, sometimes on the weekends, my daughter and I will run and get bagels from this bagel place I really like. And I really love the bagels. And it feels fun, and it feels. It’s a cool place, and it feels fun to go there.
Betsy [00:17:07]:
Cause it feels cool. And it reminds me that I live in the city, which is so fun to me. And so all of that around, all of that feels really good. But picking up wings or whatever heck else it was that we were getting, it doesn’t feel good to me. And so I started to think about, like, well, I’m not a. I’m not a cook historically. Do you notice how I said, I am? I am not a cook. But then I was like, I talk every day about how you can be things you’ve never been.
Betsy [00:17:37]:
So maybe I like to cook. Like, what if I do like to cook? But I had always been in a state of emergency or stress, you know? And if you’ve been here for a long time, you know, like, I was a single mom for a long time, and then my daughter was really sick for years. Like, there was a lot of stress where cooking really felt like a luxury. And I don’t know that I could get to a place. I’m going to say it like this because this is how it feels right now, but get to a place where I could take the time to actually cook. Like, it felt like just a waste of time. There was so much to do, and I realized that that now was a pattern and that I don’t feel like that anymore. And so I really.
Betsy [00:18:22]:
I went on TikTok, and I started finding recipes, and I created a folder, you know, for recipes. Food. Food. My food folder on TikTok, and I found some really fun things, and I have been making some really yummy things that include a lot of chopping. And I have found that I really love chopping. Like, if there is a salad that says to chop something to a size of confetti, I’m like, I am all in. I will chop. I have grown to really love my knives, and I have gotten into, like, sharpening my knives and, which sounds kind of sinister when I say it out loud, but sharpening my knives and.
Betsy [00:19:05]:
And just being creative and having these big salads. If you guys have seen, like, the dense bean salad trend on TikTok. So I’ve done the dense bean salad, that goddess salad, which is like the chopped up, like, confetti cabbage with the green dressing, and you use tortilla chips to eat it. Like, I’ve had so much fun and have eaten so much better, but also, it created a mindfulness for me. It gave me a place to connect with my daughter in the kitchen. She’ll come over sometime, and I’ll cook, and she’ll sit at the island and just talk to me. And it actually is. It.
Betsy [00:19:41]:
It really brings me a lot of joy. I have been listening to podcasts more, and I’m going to talk about that, but getting into some podcasts that I really wanted to listen to, or music that I really wanted to listen to, or audiobooks and just having my head set on and chopping away, you know, creating stuff. I’ve been making bread, which I turned into my whole personality for about two weeks. So I have been noticing that there are things that feel really aligning, and I have been allowing myself to do those things. I use that word really intentionally allowing, because I think that we stop ourselves many times from doing the things that feel joyful, I think. And I. And I raised my hand in this. I’m not saying you.
Betsy [00:20:30]:
Me too. But I would be too busy or too stressed. Right. And over the past year and a half of really working on my nervous system, I can feel that there’s more room for joy. You know, there’s more room for me to be able to explore these things. One of the other things I realized is that I’m getting more and more interested in like, longer form content. So I was, you know, in the TikTok thing for a while, short little videos, and that felt fun to me. I tried to be intentional, but I wasn’t always.
Betsy [00:21:06]:
And then you would find that I was in a TikTok, like, scrolling videos, you know, like you would like a real scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, but more as an opting out. And so I really started noticing when I was doing that, and then what was the underlying feeling that I was avoiding and then dealing with that feeling. I’ve been doing a lot of NLP. I have my own coach, like we’ve talked about. And so I’ve been really identifying those so that I can bring them to the coaching session and say, this is something I’ve noticed. Can you help me process through this thing? And what that has led to is me enjoying a lot more long form content. And one of the things that I have found, there’s a woman on YouTube. Her name is Cecilia Blomdahl, and she lives in Svelbard, which is north of Sweden.
Betsy [00:21:58]:
And I started her. Her videos are so cozy. You know, it’s snowing outside, and she’s cozy in front of the fire, and she’s interesting and talks about where she lives and all the different things that they do there. She’s swedish, but she speaks incredible English. And so it’s easy to listen to and to follow, and it’s making me wonder, you know, several years ago, I went to Iceland, and I really loved it. Like my soul, like, soul loved it. Somebody messaged me soon after that and asked me about my astro chart and about how there’s, like, lines in the globe where we sort of line up and belong. You might know what that’s called.
Betsy [00:22:46]:
It’s escaping me at the moment, but it’s like astro charting or something. But in that I remember I went to a website and looked, and my line went really close to Iceland. It was in the middle of the ocean, which makes sense to me because I have that weird thing with salt water. But it was really close to Iceland. And I remember when I was in Iceland, I don’t know. You know, I grew up in Vermont, but I haven’t been back in snowy weather in so long. And I don’t know if it just was nostalgia or the cozy. I forgot what it was like.
Betsy [00:23:19]:
I mean, I’m in Atlanta, so it’s, like, hot and sweaty. I mean, it’s October and it’s hot and sweaty, and I forgot what cozy felt like. And so as I found this Cecilia, it just started making me wonder if I’m going to flow towards another trip, you know, to Iceland, maybe. I would really like to go back to the blue lagoon. It was so beautiful and cool. It just felt really good to me. Or if I’m gonna go to Svelbard, I don’t know that I’ll go that far north, but there’s something pulling me. So I have found both this, like, long form content being really interesting to me and also, like, being drawn to this, like, cozy, cool weather kind of adventure, you know, and what that could really mean for me.
Betsy [00:24:07]:
Some of the other things that I have found to be really aligning when I’m doing that morning writing. And I have been an iPad girly for a long time, and you may have even heard me talk about when I do my deep streaming, which is like my meditation and automatic writing, where I ask my. My inner knower questions. I have always been an iPad or typing, but I have been really loving paper and writing. I got an ink and volt goal planner, so it’s not like a planner, like a day to day planner, but it’s like you set your goals for the week, and I have been really into that and colored markers and different pens that has been really aligning and fun, and it’s something that I use throughout the day that puts me in this aligned place so I can notice. And it might sound kind of silly, but that’s. Those are the kinds of little things that I’m looking for. Right.
Betsy [00:25:04]:
So as you’re thinking about this, like, what can be bringing me into alignment if you’re a pen girly, like, if I have a good pen, I mean, that is like, it’s bliss, right? So I have just been leaning into that. What feels really good, you know, writing on pen and paper, the whole analog, like, thing going on, moving my body. You know, I have really created space for myself. In the morning, I started doing the kind of morning journaling thing here in the last couple months, and then I was like, now that I’m in this good feeling place, I want to move my body. Which if you’ve been here for a long time, if you’re new here, then I’ll tell you. Years ago, I used to own a crossfit gym. Like, I have been movement my whole life. And then I think perimenopause sort of slowed me down and probably being busy and stressed, and when I move into stress, that’s sort of edge where I cut off everything else because I get really, like, aerodynamic, focused on what it is that’s causing me stress, which isn’t always healthy.
Betsy [00:26:14]:
So this practice of getting aligned every morning in a really intentional way created space for me to want to move my body again, which to me means my stress is becoming lower and I’m getting in a place where I can really start to see what’s good for me and what’s not good for me. And I think that moving is really good. I mean, it feels good, right, when you do it right, when you’re doing something that’s fun and your body feels good and you feel like that good body tired after or even a little sore the next couple days, you know, just to have that movement in my body again. But on the other side, I’m also noticing things starting to fall away, maybe things that I used to do or people I used to spend time with. There just isn’t the alignment anymore, and it doesn’t feel forced. It doesn’t feel like I’m having to make this big decision to, like, cut somebody out of my life. I don’t mean that. Or cut a practice out of my life.
Betsy [00:27:20]:
It’s not that. It’s more like I’m moving so much into adding joy and alignment that there’s not room for the other. So it doesn’t feel like a running from something. It feels like moving towards more good. And so much good is coming in that the other is just dropping off. And there’s things that happen now that I look at, and it just feels bonkers. And I’m like, the alignment, the alignment has shifted so much that it almost seems like a different person. Right? And I think that we all grow and change, and I think there are times in our lives where there’s a leap.
Betsy [00:28:05]:
You know, I mean, you could say like a quantum leap, but a big shift in who you are and how you’re showing up and how you’re thinking and then how you used to be just seems bonkers. Right? It just seems like. Well, that seems really funny that that’s that I thought that. Right? It seems really funny that that’s what I did. It seems really funny that that was me, because that seems so different now, and I kind of love it when that happens because I want to grow and change and learn and become more of who I am. And I feel like over the past couple months, that’s happened in such a rapid rate. You know, a few months ago or a few weeks ago on the show, I talked about how I had hired that hypnotherapist and how I had to get to the root cause of a bunch of symptoms. So I went to him with all these symptoms, these things that were happening that I really wanted to shift.
Betsy [00:29:00]:
And I just said to him, you know, these are all the things. And he said, those are all the symptoms. We’ve got to get to the root cause of it. And I had that night, and I talked about it a couple weeks ago on the show, but I had that one night, it was like a Friday night, and I was, like, up all night and really think, I mean, all these memories coming in, right? All this real, like, all this pain, and, I mean, I really. I. And I think I mentioned this, but sometimes when I hear people talk about how they do, like, plant medicine, and it’s like this awful, dark night of the soul thing that happens for them during the plant medicine ceremony, and they see all the ways that they’ve been sabotaging themselves and all of that. That’s what it was like. But there was no plant medicine.
Betsy [00:29:47]:
It was just me, really. Like, really. I wanted to use the word harshly, but that’s not it. It’s like, really looking at my stuff in a raw way, like, not trying to sugarcoat it for myself. And I think we do that a lot, but really being honest with what experiences I had had, that created a lot of patterns that weren’t serving me. I mean, it was. They were hurting me at this point. They were just really, really causing me a lot of pain.
Betsy [00:30:21]:
And when I could move through that, I mean, I think I napped a couple times that night, but I was up all night and, like, journaling and writing stuff and moving through stuff and doing NLP on myself. So, like, doing a lot of my own self coaching and trying to get myself to the place where I could really understand what the root cause was. It was a belief, and when I got there, just seeing it, it was so obvious to me. It was almost crazy that I could be, like, skirting around it for so many years, you know? And it was such a relief. It changed things before I even got the hypnosis back. But I think I said, at that time, when I get the hypnosis, it’s going to be wild to see what happens. And I got it back last week, and I have been doing it every day, a couple times a day, so I’ll do it at night. There’s a nighttime one, I’ll do a morning one, and then there’s one I do in the middle of the day, really going in.
Betsy [00:31:18]:
And the first time I did, it was such a relief. I felt so light one of the symptoms, and I had taught. I did a whole show on this. One of the symptoms that I was having was that when people would comment on my instagram in a way that I perceived as negative, I would get this feeling that I can’t quite describe. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m mad that they’re saying something. It consciously I was like, there’s nothing wrong with what they’re saying. But it made this feeling of, like, deep shame in my body that I was really having a hard time showing up. I would have times where I would just be like, I.
Betsy [00:31:59]:
And you guys know, if you. You guys know, like, I love what I do. Like, I love it. I have done this for over a decade. Like, I love it. And there was a moment where I was like, do I not do this anymore? Cause this is such a terrible feeling. That’s what prompted me to hire this guy. That feeling is totally gone now.
Betsy [00:32:19]:
Totally gone now. In fact, I get messages now all the time, and I just. I don’t even care. I don’t even have to respond if I don’t want. And if I really don’t like it, I just delete it. Like, I don’t have to explain myself to them. I don’t have to get them to understand me. Like, before, there was just a lot of, like, please understand me.
Betsy [00:32:38]:
And that is just so gone now. Now all I have to do is get into a really good feeling place and make decisions from there. I don’t need anybody to understand me. I need them to either come along or not. Like, it’s totally fine. Everybody’s on a different journey. Everyone’s on a different path. And, like, that feels so good.
Betsy [00:32:58]:
So I know that there’s more and more and more changes to happen as I keep doing this and keep going down this path with the hypnosis. I love hypnosis. It’s so magical. And all you do is relax. Like, what could be better? So those are the things that I’m doing right now. Really starting to lean in to some new stuff. You know, cooking and writing, analog life, really getting in touch, you know, doing that deep streaming, moving my body and just really being present and letting go of all the baggage and shame and weird crap that we all tend to hold onto. You know, it takes some work and effort, but the other side of it is so amazing.
Betsy [00:33:43]:
Like, who knows what will happen? I’m so. I remember last year, I hired my coach, and I’ve worked with my coach on and off, like, since 2018. So I wasn’t new. But I remember last year saying, I want to work with him again, with his whole team. I want to work with him again, and I’m going to commit to that. And I remember thinking, I actually remember saying it out loud. I wonder how much I’ll change in the next year. Cause I knew I would.
Betsy [00:34:09]:
I don’t even think I anticipated this level. It’s been just a year now. I don’t even think I anticipated how much was gonna happen, you know? Yeah, well, I was gonna go down a path and tell you another story, but I don’t think I wanna just stick with what I’m saying here. I don’t think I knew. And as I’m here on the precipice of the next year, I’m like, what? Kind of wild, amazing. I feel like it cleared out all the cobwebs and now there’s like a free flowing river that I’m on. And I’m like in my own little boat, my happy boat, where I am looking up and I can see all the trees and I can hear the water and I can see the birds and rainbows and probably unicorns. And it feels so good.
Betsy [00:35:03]:
And I’m just flowing, rushing down the river and I don’t know what’s going to show up as I’m observing, like, as I’m looking around, like what will show up and come into my awareness that aligns with where I am right now. Whereas before, it felt like I was really in a lot of cobwebs, you know, and I, you know, over the last ten years, I’ve done a lot of, a lot of work, but it was like the last bit. That’s really how it feels. And it feels like now I wonder what’s going to happen this next year. Because this next year I think it’s going to be a lot of outer, like, I think I’ve gotten through so much of the inner that now there’s going to be this lot, a lot of outward change. And that feels really fun and exciting and like, who knows, who knows what will happen? So if you are on the path, which I know you are, because you wouldn’t be listening to this if you weren’t, and maybe you’re farther along than me, and if you are, then you know how great it is to come out on the other side. And if you’re not on the other side yet, it’s worth the work. It’s worth doing.
Betsy [00:36:09]:
It’s worth looking at your crap. It’s worth showing up for yourself. It’s worth hiring help to move through stuff. It is so, so worth it. So that is my thoughts for this week. Moving into a place of alignment. Take that practice. Count the days.
Betsy [00:36:26]:
I’m telling you, within 20 days of doing that, you will start to feel different. You’ll start to notice different things. Come into the Facebook group. Come into the Facebook group and jump in on the possibility posse. Share in there if you have questions or there’s something you want me to talk about or create something, a reel for. You know, I had a couple requests this week and I created reels specifically answering their questions. So, you know, please let me know. And I am going to be launching a subscription on Instagram.
Betsy [00:36:59]:
That’s sort of a new thing that has felt really fun, the thought of it. So I’m going to try it and see how it goes. So there’ll be extra content that you get, that nobody else gets. If you want to join me, it’s not going to be. I mean, it’s like $9 a month. You know, subscriptions are pretty inexpensive on Instagram, but it’ll be a place where I can really share a little bit more, give you some inside info, share some skills, and, yeah, and just be able to connect in a closer way. So look for me over there on Instagram. If you’re not already connected with me on Instagram, you will see it.
Betsy [00:37:35]:
And, yeah, let me know. Let me know how things are going. I love you guys so much. Thanks for being here, and I will see you next week. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes.
Betsy [00:37:57]:
I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to, like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Paik. And that’s my website, too, betsypake.com. and you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a dm.
Betsy [00:38:33]:
Shoot me a direct message on the, on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week.
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