067: Get Vulnerable & Get Laid!

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon

🎙️ Get ready to embrace your vulnerability and emotional bravery in this week's episode of Ask A Sex Therapist! In this candid discussion, we explore the importance of being emotionally brave for intimacy, whether it's emotional closeness, authenticity, or passionate, connected sex. Host Heather encourages listeners to break free from self-censorship and explore the impact of holding back thoughts and feelings. Offering insights from her work with clients, she uncovers how self-censorship impacts sexual intimacy and shares actionable advice for overcoming shyness, social anxiety, and fear of rejection to foster deeper connections. ❤️🔥

In this episode, you'll learn:

- What is self censorship?

- We all suck at this. I am bad at this too even though I’m not shy and don’t have social anxiety and often couldn’t care less what people think of me.

- Belonging is a core need from an evolutionary standpoint and we’re petrified of not belonging. Plus there’s the emotional roller coaster.

- But we are blocking ourselves from connection, happiness, pleasure and joy!!! And we’re blocking the other person too!!! Imagine how much more love there would be in the world if we were all better at this!!!

- So this part is a protector part according to IFS. It’s likely protecting an exiled part that feels not good enough, unworthy, shameful, broken, etc. - - - This part prevents us from getting hurt by reminding us not to stick our neck out. It learned to do this from past hurts. It has nothing but the best intentions, but may not know about our Self Energy which is confident and infinitely able to hold space for our emotions

- The solution? Access your Self Energy. Introduce this protector part to Self. Do things that help you access Self Energy.

Time Stamps:

00:57 - The significance of emotional bravery for intimacy

04:14 - Overcoming shyness and societal norms in expressing attraction

09:44 - Understanding the evolutionary need for belonging and connection

13:43 - Framing self-censorship through an internal family systems perspective

19:07 - Accessing your self energy for emotional bravery

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https://HeatherShannon.co

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SIMILAR EPISODES

Ep 2 - The Real Reason You’re Not Talking About Sex! - https://pod.fo/e/15b8df

Ep 11 - Attachment Styles - https://pod.fo/e/16340d

Ep 25 - Sex and The Single Life: Dating, Vulnerability & Freedom - https://pod.fo/e/17c237

Ep 33 - BDSM, Play Parties and Queer Sexuality with Kesiena Boom - https://pod.fo/e/181b5d

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