Manage episode 302173090 series 2828830
Just back from vacation, we wanted to share how to more easily navigate low moods and how seeing them as transient and impersonal can make relationships so much easier and more graceful.
Angus has a perfect example of this from our vacation in Hawaii when he was feeling very caught up and upset with our daughters, he stepped outside, and by looking up at the night sky and seeing the moon, he was distracted just enough from his low mood that his mind settled naturally. Once his mind settled, he was able to re-approach the situation with more ease and grace.
Rohini shares about how it was through experiencing more of her own safety and well-being within herself that allowed her to get more perspective on her human psychology. Once she was freed up to see her psychology at work, she could lean into her built-in navigation system and ride out low moods instead of giving them more meaning than they warranted.
When you get caught up, if you can attend to what you need to do to help regulate your own internal state, rather than searching for someone to blame, or a "fall guy" as Angus likes to say, you can then bypass escalation and return to connection more quickly. This doesn't mean you should always be in a good mood and that low moods are shameful, it means accepting where you're at in the moment, instead of blaming someone else for your current state of mind.
This episode explores:
- How to handle a low mood
- Watching the fight or flight experience
- Taking care of ourselves first helps relationships
- The power of seeing the impersonal in a low mood
- The character we play when we're caught up vs. when we're seeing things clearly
Slapping one's thighs and pinching one's leg: when Angus is caught up and frustrated he might do this
Pulling down pants: when Angus approaches the airport security line, he might instinctively start to do this
Alien creature: the sum of our conditioned thinking and habits
Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.
Episode 40 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.