Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Part 3) - Rosaria Butterfield

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Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Part 3) - Rosaria Butterfield

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What Is Truth?

Guest: Rosaria Butterfield

From the series: Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Day 3 of 3)

Bob: After meeting a number of times with a local Presbyterian pastor, Rosaria Butterfield—a college professor, a committed feminist, a lesbian—remembers the morning that everything changed for her.

Rosaria: One day, I got up; and I got out of bed that I shared with a woman. I brushed my teeth, and I walked the dogs. An hour later, I was sitting in a pew at the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. I came there to meet God. It was very powerful, sitting under the preaching of God’s Word. It was very powerful. The prayer that came out—after that—which really surprised me, “Lord, could you make a woman, like me, a godly woman?”

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, September 18th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. We will hear today how God answered Rosaria Butterfield’s prayer. Stay tuned.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. There is a passage in a book I read years ago called A Severe Mercy. The author is a man named Sheldon Vanauken, and he was a skeptic at Oxford University. He started writing letters to one of his professors, C.S. Lewis, asking him questions all about Christianity. He’d get a letter written, and Lewis would respond back to him with an answer. He’d write a new letter and get an answer back.

He’d finally written a letter to Lewis one time. The answer that came back was: “I’ve decided not to answer your questions anymore.” He said: “It’s—I’m pretty well convinced that The Hound of Heaven is after you, and it’s just a matter of time.” [Laughter] I remember reading that—and I remember Vanauken reading and going—he was a little put off; but then, he got a little worried that, maybe, in fact, it was just a matter of time. [Laughter]
And I have to wonder if our guest, this week, has—didn’t have something of that same experience in her life.

Dennis: Yes. And I’ve been chased down by The Hound of Heaven, as well. It’s good that He’s on our trail.

Rosaria: Amen. Amen.

Dennis: I agree with you. Rosaria Butterfield joins us, again, on FamilyLife Today. Welcome back.

Rosaria: Thank you very much.

Dennis: She has written a book called The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert. How do you summarize, Bob, what we’ve talked about—

Bob: This week?

Dennis: —this week. I mean, Professor of English at Syracuse University and was a part of the women’s studies. You were a teacher in the queer studies program. You were a lesbian—had a live-in lover that you were with for a number of years.

In the process, she wrote a letter, criticizing a group that came to the Carrier Dome, there at Syracuse University—a group called Promise Keepers. A pastor wrote you back. Long story made short—instead of condemning you, he just started asking you questions that caused you to ponder and reflect, spiritually. And The Hound of Heaven began to get on your trail.

Bob: And you found yourself wrestling with whether the Bible is true—whether it’s authoritative—

Rosaria: That’s right. That’s right.

Bob: —whether your life had to come under the authority of the Scriptures and of the God of the Scriptures.

Rosaria: That’s right.

Bob: But in your case, if you are going to believe this—

Rosaria: Right. Oh, yes, yes.

Bob: —and if you are going to act like you believe this, it’s revolutionary. It’s going to leave you with a lot of your old friends who don’t want to talk to you anymore and a lot of new friends that you don’t know if you want to hang around with.

Rosaria: Yes, that’s very well-put; right. And so, I did. One day, I got up; and I got out of bed that I shared with a woman. I brushed my teeth, and I walked the dogs. An hour later, I was sitting in a pew at the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. I came there to meet God, and—

Dennis: And when you said you came to meet God, you showed up to surrender.

Rosaria: Well, not at first. I mean, I’d love to say that! You see, you make me look good; but that’s not true. At first, I was just really curious about sort of the: “What’s the next step? Okay, I’ve read the Bible, now, more than once; and I’ve studied it. Now, what? Okay, we you go to church. Let’s find out what’s going on there.”

It was very powerful, sitting under the preaching of God’s Word. It was very powerful. Then, the prayer that came out after that—which really surprised me. It had nothing to do with my sexuality. It had everything to do with my pride and my gender, “Lord, could you make a woman, like me, a godly woman?” It was really not much of a prayer. It was more of a question, but God answered that question because God can do anything! Right?— you know, “Can these dry bones rise?”—right? Not by their own will—they cannot.

Bob: Those two questions, as you sat listening to God’s Word being preached—and this is over a period of—

Rosaria: Years.

Bob: —of years.

Rosaria: Of years.

Bob: But those two questions kept haunting you to a point where you finally—

Rosaria: Right, I did.

Bob: —had to throw in the flag and say, “Okay.”

Rosaria: “Okay, Lord, I’m yours. I’m yours.”

Bob: Tell us about that day.

Rosaria: In some ways, it was very anticlimactic because of all the things that had preceded it. I was still kicking up a bit of a fit about: “Oh, poor me. I ...