Two idiots and their much more intelligent guests take on classic TV (mostly the Andy Griffith Show) to see the weird messages they broadcast into American homes, and assess what holds up and what caused permanent damage to the psyche of an entire generation. Join hosts Marty Schneider and Dan Ludwig as they descend into the madness of Boomer television, and occasionally break down their own childhood television addictions. New episodes bi-weekly on Thursday mornings!
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135: The Crimes Of Fife
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It's our big send-off to Don Knotts (bigger than what the Andy Griffith show did anyway) and we "celebrate" by counting down Barney Fife's biggest crimes against humanity. Then we cover more of Don Knotts' film career, including "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" and "The Reluctant Astronaut", a film which is in high contention for "most unfortunate relea…
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UNLOCKED BONUS: Lasagna Boys - A Garfield Cast
1:20:10
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We're! (we're!) Ready! (ready!) To! (to!) Podcast! In what is basically an extended episode of Marty's Comix Korner, Marty and Dan watch 2006's Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. We grapple with the existential question of "What is Garfield?", play "Garf or No Garf" and generally hope you bring lots of spaghetti. For more bonus material like this, jo…
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134: The Case of Vulvanator v. Labia-Lifter (w/Christine Clarke)
1:24:48
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We lawyer up once again with personal injury/medical malpractice attorney Christine Clarke, who shares with us the best cross-examination twist ever heard. Marty and Dan debate which fast-casual restaurant is the best to die from, and Otis sues the county in an AG episode named... Otis Sues The County. If you like this, leave a rating and review or…
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133: Mr. T, Killer of Fools
1:30:51
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1:30:51
Listen close because there is a VERY IMPORTANT Public Service Announcement at the beginning of this episode that you're not gonna want to miss. Also we say good-bye to Mr. Fife (kinda), and a famous comedian shows up to do absolutely no jokes! It's season 5, episodes 29 and 30 - "The Luck of Newton Monroe" and "Opie Flunks Arithmetic" If you like t…
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132: Light Switch Action or Light "Switch Action"?
1:20:06
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The actual AG fans sometimes say you should use the Andy Griffith Show as guideposts for your day-to-day situations. Well, in this episode we imagine what that would look like and it does NOT go well for us! If you like this, leave a rating and review or visit our Patreon or email us at breakingmayberry@gmail.com Need swords or axes or more cool sh…
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131: A Real Butter-and-Egg Man
1:09:49
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Marty flirts with meeting his double, Dan invites trouble, and a wacky misunderstanding implies that filthy casual sex was just a workplace hazard for a dairy deliveryman in the 60s. It's Season 5, Episode 27 "Aunt Bee's Invisible Beau" Need swords or axes or more cool shit? Go to https://battlingblades.com/discount/MAYBERRY for 10% off your order!…
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130: Let's Kill Some Whales
1:05:57
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1:05:57
Just be chill, allright? Don't screw this up for us. Just. Be Cool. We're just normal guys talking about ham, whale explosions, and Andy Griffith Season 5, Episode 26, "Opie's Newspaper", so just be cool about it, okay?Door Breaking Mayberry
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129: Cotton Fists and Cellophane Noses
1:37:48
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The opinions held and expressed by "smokin'" Steamboat Willie do not represent those of Breaking Mayberry Enterprises or of Marty and Dan. They are very bad and gross and he is a weird little mouse bastard. It's Andy Griffith Season 5, Episodes 25 and 26 "Guest in the House" and "The Case of the Punch In The Nose" If you like this, leave a rating a…
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128: Dog the Bounty Hunter, Jr.
1:03:59
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Okay so in the middle of recording this episode we got some big news and it's not new now but it was a week ago so just go with it. We're covering THE BIG EPISODE, the "Andy doesn't carry a gun episode". It's a massive letdown and now we could end the whole podcast. (We won't. But we could.) If you like this, leave a rating and review or visit our …
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127: An Outdated Idea of Mugging (w/ RJ City)
1:39:28
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1:39:28
Professional wrestler and All Elite Wrestling Interviewer RJ City comes by the Breaking Mayberry studios to share some behind-the-ring stories and transport us to the late-80s, as we take on Matlock for the first (and probably last) time! We're introduced to Canadian historical procedurals, witness the Japanese Yakuza Blues Brothers, and are gently…
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126: Connecting With Jesus on LinkedIn
1:27:38
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1:27:38
Man I hope you all really like the episodes where we go on long digressions because this is for sure one of them. Dan has a great excuse for not wearing a wedding ring, Marty finds the son of God while job hunting, and Andy is a broken man. It's season 5, episode 21 "Barney Runs For Sherriff" and episode 22 "If I had a 1/4 million" Support us with …
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125: Disassociating With OwenWilson
1:20:21
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1:20:21
Okay everyone, get this: What if there was a guy... and he wasn't funny? No, but, like... imagine there's a guy, and he's just like... not funny? I don't think you get it. See, there's A GUY. and he's NOT funny. Like, you know how some guys are funny? Well, not this one! It's Andy Griffith Show Season 5 Episodes 19 and 20, "The Lucky Letter" and "G…
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124: Wikipedia Editor Intervention
1:11:06
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Dan and Marty bring a weird energy into one of the bleakest darkest episodes of TV we've ever seen, but it's okay because we talk about horses. Like, a lot. It's Season 5, Episode 18, "The Rehabilitation of Otis"Door Breaking Mayberry
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Blood and Fur: Some Ewok Stories (UNLOCKED PATREON BONUS)
1:08:11
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It's an unlocked Patreon bonus! Marty and Dan talk about some lesser-known Stars War, that see your Star Wars mythos and say "suck it". Be sure to listen for the part where Dan delivers some news that breaks Marty in two. We're doing "An Ewok Adventure: Caravan of Courage" (1984) and "An Ewok Adventure: Battle for Endor" (1985) Get access to this a…
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123: Packing A Suitcase for Social Anxiety
1:23:35
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1:23:35
In this episode, the Andy Griffith writers create a situation so infuriating that it challenges the boys' moral stance on police brutality. Also, Marty ages 100 years in one sentence.It's Season 5, Episodes 16 and 17, "Goober Takes A Car Apart" and "Barney Fife, Realtor"Door Breaking Mayberry
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122: Floyd, God-Emperor of Barbers!
1:09:42
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1:09:42
Magic is real in the Andy Griffith universe and no one seems to care that much about it! Also Dan nearly blows up his entire house! It's Season 5, Episode 14, "Three Wishes for Opie" THIS MONTH! All Breaking Mayberry money from Patreon or Gumroad goes to support striking WGA/SAG members. Join our Patreon or visit our Gumroad page to purchase our bo…
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121: Kill Your Darlings
1:27:24
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1:27:24
Marty and Dan lose their minds over a musical atrocity that no one asked for, and then we get some quality ridiculousness from everyone's favorite mountain nightmare folk, the Darlings! It's Andy Griffith Show Season 5 Episode 12, "The Darling Baby", and episode 13 "Andy and Helen Have Their Day!"Door Breaking Mayberry
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120: Just Off-Screen, Nodding Approvingly (w/ Ciera Gardner)
1:16:32
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1:16:32
(Okay look every single image of this episode on the internet is Don Knotts in a racist-ass outfit, so you don't get cover art on this one.) Ciera Gardner, actor extraordinaire and clown, esquire (?) joins us on the pod to talk about Season 5, Episode 11 - "The Pageant" - an Aunt Bee episode that's not very nice to Aunt Bee. This one is deeply weir…
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119: These People Are Made of Cardboard!
1:17:45
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It's election time in Philadelphia, and Marty has a personal connection in this race. Andy threatens to leave. but then he doesn't, and Marty and Andy lose a round to the Mayberry wiki people. It's Season 5, Episode 9 "Opies Fortune" and Episode 10 "Goodbye, Sherriff Taylor" Follow Breaking Mayberry on Twitter: twitter.com/BreakMayberry, Facebook G…
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118: Statue of Liberty Redesign
1:05:25
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We're back from Marty's wedding times, and we're ready to get back to the important work of making fun of boomer TV. Marty meets a man who's not here, Dan commits insect genocide, and we all agree that Lady Liberty could use a partner.It's Season 5, episode 8, "Barney's Uniform" Follow Breaking Mayberry on Twitter: twitter.com/BreakMayberry, Facebo…
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117: No Veto on the Vietnam Points!
1:17:30
1:17:30
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1:17:30
Okay, so you know MANHUNT? What if that, but there was a dog? Is that... is that anything? Do you like that? No? Okay, well, how about 22 minutes of adults misunderstanding each other in the dumbest ways possible? That do anything for you? Still no? Then I don't know what to tell you, man. It's Season 5, Episodes 6 and 7 "Barney's Bloodhound" and "…
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116: Oedipus T. Bass
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In this episode we describe a drug-addicted cartoon rabbit, and it's nowhere near the most upsetting thing that comes up. It's Season 5, Episode 4, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass." Follow Breaking Mayberry on Twitter: twitter.com/BreakMayberry, Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/383110240030195/ or email us at breakingmayberry@gmail.…
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115: Two Annoying Guys!
1:12:44
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1:12:44
(The two annoying guys are not us, for the record) Okay, you know how your relatives are kind of annoying to be around? Wouldn't it be great to spend some TV time with very realistically annoying people? No? Well, too bad, because that's what's happening, this is the Andy Griffith Show!Covers AG Season 5, Ep 3 "Family Visit" and Episode 5 "Aunt Bee…
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114: The Barney Stretcher 5000
1:22:40
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1:22:40
Okay so look in this episode we thought we'd have fun with the concept of MILF Manor but we absolutely do NOT have fun with the concept of MILF Manor. We do have a lot of fun with Barney Fife hanging in a closet though, so there's that. We return to Mayberry with Season 5, Episode 1 "Opie Loves Helen" and Episode 2, "Barney's Physical" Check out Fl…
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PARENTAL CONTROL: You're the Bears' Problem Now! (w/ Mickey Schneider)
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1:25:05
It's the final PARENTAL CONTROL and we brought back Marty's sister Mickey to talk about the TV show which inspired her name - Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. We cover two episodes of the family-themed Western show. Marty gets mad at the past (like always), Mickey has conflicting feelings about her namesake, and Dan introduces us to a man with a "striking…
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BACKDOOR LOVERS: Basic Training at Fort Sandals
1:11:57
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1:11:57
Okay look let me tell you up front: This episode spends a LOT of time talking about Marty's scrotum. And then it spends even more time talking about the Dukes of Hazzard. You can decide which is more unpleasant. It's the Duke boys and their new friend Mason Dixon, P.I. No... no that can't be right. They seriously named the guy "Mason Dixon?" Okay t…
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PARENTAL CONTROL: Strong Opinions About Murphy Beds (w/ Kae Lani Palmisano)
1:48:54
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Friend of the show and Emmy-award winning TV host Kae Lani Palmisano stops in the throw Marty and Dan into the world of reality TV with her parental control pick - TLC decoration program Trading Spaces! Learn all about the inner lives of interior decorators as we do a deep dive into the history of TLC, reality TV, and some of the most unhinged TV w…
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BACKDOOR LOVERS: The Incredible Mr. Fix-It
1:26:29
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1:26:29
Our exploration of failed spinoffs continues as we look into a Golden Girls spinoff that actually did make it to the air... kind of! Behold the shockingly mean sitcom EMPTY NEST, which is sort of a spinoff of Golden Girls but not really because THAT pilot was totally different and also sucked, but in a totally different way than how this show sucks…
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PARENTAL CONTROL 2: Big Valley Energy (w/ Adam Teterus)
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1:33:50
Adam's back to tell us about a show his Dad loves and his mom hates - 60's Western THE BIG VALLEY. Join us for the definitive ranking of stuff guys can fall through, an in-depth discussion of Man vs. Beast, stories of basketball legend Charles Barkley, and a foxy older lady in a wildly anachronistic leather jacket. Follow Breaking Mayberry on Twitt…
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BACKDOOR LOVERS: Paranormal Creatures Networking Event
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Our trip through TV Shows that never were continues, as we briefly step into the seedy criminal monster mash of SUPERNATURAL: BLOODLINES, a proposed spinoff of the CW hit that launched a million gross fanfics. Using the very original idea of a turf war between monsters, Bloodlines imagines a Chicago where rich shapeshifters feud with handsome werew…
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BACKDOOR LOVERS: A Surprisingly Supportive Mob Boss
1:26:07
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Welcome to our new NEW miniseries, Backdoor Lovers, where we explore episodes of shows that were meant to create new shows... but didn't. We explore the Charlie's Angels episode TONI'S BOYS, an attempt at setting up a "Charlie's Angels but with boys!" show that no one could possibly have wanted. Thrill as a man struggles to understand what a strip …
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Parental Control 1: Stomach Parasite Elliot Gould
1:20:09
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1:20:09
We start our brand-new miniseries, Parental Control, and we have a special guest: Annie "Dan's older sister no matter what the calendar says" Ludwig! We talk about the ultimate Dad sci-fi - Stargate SG-1. We debate the hotness of James Spader, analyze Marty's Tweeting style, and ponder how it's possible to travel to infinite universes when you have…
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UNLOCKED BONUS: Welcome to the Turtle Club - A Master of Disguise Podcast
1:48:59
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1:48:59
UNLOCKED PATREON BONUS: This hurt, this hurt a lot. It hurt so much we brought in Dan's brother Max Ludwig to share the pain. Max searches for the secret of the runes, Marty channels his energico and Dan breaks down halfway. Look, this one sucked, okay, we hate you for making us watch this. Fuck Dana Carvey.…
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105: An Extremely Solved Murder (Season Finale)
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1:12:03
It's the Season Finale and we're going back to the seemingly endless well of Andy Griffith TV Movies where he plays an unrepentant psychopath! This time around it's Murder in Coweta County, a tense game of cat-and-mouse between Andy Griffith and Johnny Cash, only it's really more like cat-and-guy-getting-his-absolute-shit-wrecked-by-Johnny-Cash-the…
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104: Look on My Barney Meter, Ye Mortals, and Despair!
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1:16:24
Okay so this episode starts with some funny stories about giraffe urine, and it ends with the horrors of the Vietnam War. Do not blame us for how this goes; this is entirely the Andy Griffith Show's fault. It's Season 4, Episode 31 "Back to Nature" and Episode 32 "Gomer Pyle, USMC" GIVE US MONEY TO SUPPORT ABORTION FUNDS: https://www.patreon.com/br…
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All this month, all money the boys make from this podcast goes to abortion funds throughout the US. Here's where to give us money and what you can get for it: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/breakingmayberry $8 a month gets you access to everything, all our bonus eps, early/extended episodes, Discord access, suggest-an-episode, and other stuff. Gu…
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103: Don Draper Minds in William H. Macy Bodies (w/ Sophia Benoit)
1:31:19
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1:31:19
Twitter fav and GQ/Bustle sex and relationship columnist Sophia Benoit joins the boys as they discuss #justiceforthelmalou, Andy Griffith gender-swapped fancasting, and adults who don't swear. We're also treated to hot hot cheek/chin kissing action, courtesy of Season 4, Episode 30 "Barney and Thelma Lou, Pfffttt!!" Follow Sophia: https://twitter.c…
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102: Your Host, A Miserable Pile of Secrets
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1:05:40
Look, I don't know what this episode title means either but I do know this THIS episode is agonizing for Marty and Dan. Turns out, there's a good reason why TV seasons aren't 32 episodes long anymore, and that's because you run out of plots REAL FAST. These episodes aren't technically reruns, but pretty darn close. Somehow, though, the Andy Griffit…
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101: Günterkräkken!
1:17:06
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There are many ways to learn a new language, but only one that will let you do what Marty does to Dan in this episode. We also learn the greatest nicknames of all time, and eventually we talk about the Woo Girls of the Andy Griffith Show. It's Season 4, Episode 27 "The Fun Girls" To join Toucan, go to https://jointoucan.com/ Marty on Twitter: https…
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100: Mayblivion Comes For Us All (w/ Joe Wade)
1:58:30
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1:58:30
It's the 100th episode of Breaking Mayberry and we brought in Joe Wade from Christmas Creeps to join us as we dive into Kickstarter-funded fan film Mayberry Man. Ever wonder what would happen if you took a Hallmark movie, removed any internal logic, and populated it with the worst cosplayers alive? No? Well sucks for you because that's what happene…
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99: They Can't Cease and Desist All of Us!
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Opie joins an MLM in this episode and so do we! Get your exclusive Breaking Mayberry NFT for the price of nothing, we're not doing that, NFTs are stupid cons. But it's tempting! Anyway, you wanna buy some Miracle Salve? Listen to Marty's guest spot on Paranoia Happy Hour: https://paranoiahappyhour.buzzsprout.com/1873883/9970409-happy-hour-fourteen-…
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98: Tales of the Downstairs Neighbors
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Marty and Dan tell stories about the people who live below, Barney rides a horse, Gilligan shows up, and we all learn way too much about (fake) mountain folklore. It's Season 4, Episode 25 - "Divorce, Mountain Style" Marty on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SchneidRemarks Dan on Twitter: https://twitter.com/theludds SUPPORT BREAKING MAYBERRY ON PATREO…
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97: Butcher With A Gun
1:10:50
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You know what we all hate? Saving money. It sucks, and finally someone has the guts to say it, and that someone is John Whedon. We do a deeper dive into the life of the woman who played Aunt Bee, Marty's butcher packs heat, and Dan has weird ideas about meat! It's Season 4, Episode 24 "Bargain Day". Marty on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SchneidRema…
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96: HBO Presents Bartleby the Scrivener
1:18:16
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1:18:16
This episode was recorded on December 28th. I'm telling you this because it's a VERY "this is the week between Christmas and New Years, time is meaningless we are all lost in liminality" sort of episode. In fact, we talk about The Andy Griffith Show, cumulatively, for about 18 minutes on this one. That's being generous. What do we talk about instea…
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95: This Episode Smells Like Chapstick (w/ Adam Teterus)
1:29:23
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1:29:23
Podcast host, burlesque emcee, and chaos demon Adam Teterus joins us again to discuss an episode sort of about shoplifting, but mostly about offensively lazy t-shirts. Dan introduces us to the "failing to buy sparklers" challenge, Marty confesses to a crime at work, and we all spend too much time talking about one particular prop from the Andy Grif…
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UNLOCKED PATREON EPISODE: Full of Sound and Furry
1:26:36
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In this unlocked episode from the vaults of our Patreon, Patrons made us watch the furry Christmas classic with the baffling cast, Pottersville. So we called in backup in the form of Man-Thing Minute host Adam Teterus. And guess what, nerds?! We all kinda liked it. So there. Happy Holidays, everyone, see you next week. Marty on Twitter: https://twi…
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94: Does This Job Come With Hobo Benefits?
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1:11:28
We're back for another trip to 60s TV hell, and we're taking y'all to Marty's Comix Korner! We'll also discuss Dan's midnight snacking habits and learn who the scrub in "No Scrubs" was. Also at some point we'll do Andy Griffith Show Season 04, Ep 22 "Andy's Vacation" which has a special surprise place in Breaking Mayberry lore, but we'll get to tha…
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Scenes from the next episode of Breaking Mayberry - Does This Job Have Hobo Benefits?Door Breaking Mayberry
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93: Miss Crime Island, 1963
1:07:58
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1:07:58
So listen, you're probably gonna want to read this before listening: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats And uhhhhhh otherwise, I think we're good. Good times. See you next episode everyone.Door Breaking Mayberry
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92: I'm Ted Koppel, and Someday We Will All Die
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Welcome to our mid-season break, kinda. We're spending half the episode discussing a truly bizarre news piece about Mt. Airy, NC, and then the other half talking about an episode I've already forgotten. Also we go in hard on those punks at NPR. About time someone put them in their place. Watch the CBS News segment on Mt Airy here: https://www.youtu…
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