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While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

While We're Waiting® - Hope After Child Loss

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This is a podcast FOR bereaved parents BY bereaved parents. Join your host, Jill Sullivan, as she talks with parents who have lost children of all ages to all types of circumstances. This is a podcast of stories ... stories of devastating loss and grief and heartbreak and struggle ... and stories of hope and healing and faith, and yes, even joy. Underlying every conversation will be the hope we have in Jesus Christ, which makes it possible to not just survive the loss of a child, but to live ...
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An outreach of The Empty Chair Endeavor designed to support and equip survivors of child loss in rediscovering life, hope, and joy after unspeakable tragedy. Additionally, our mission involves educating the public about the life altering impact the death of a child has upon survivors, both parents and siblings, and equipping them to better support and minister to them. Join us as guests share their stories of heartbreaking loss and how God has shown up on their journeys to restore hope, mean ...
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Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss

Michele Davis & Amy Durham

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A club no one wants to be in because the initiation is too big of a sacrifice: the loss of a child. Unthinkable. Unimaginable. Warrior Moms is local group in north Atlanta filled with strong, courageous, funny, and fiercely loving women who are surviving and thriving amidst horrific grief. This podcast features Amy Durham and Michele Davis, two of the Warrior Moms, who will guide listeners through their grief journey. Every fourth or fifth episode will showcase another Warrior Mom, the traum ...
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Does the thought of having to live in a world without your child cripple you? Do you lay awake at night with the ”what if’s” and the ”why’s” constantly playing in your mind, wondering if you’ll ever feel peace again? Does everything seem hard, even the little things? Do you just want someone to understand how you feel? I see you friend. In this podcast you will find the hope you’re looking for, the healing you’re longing for, and the key to living again after losing your child, all through t ...
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Life After Child Loss is a personal and deep podcast with focus on, not only my journey, but the journey of other parents all over the world who have lost children of various causes and reasons. It's the grief many don't understand and other's aren't willing to talk about. An in depth, uncensored talk about parent's trying to live a life after they lose their child. Walk with me as I take you on my journey of twists, turns, highs and lows of fighting from merely existing to living, but also ...
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Welcome to the Worst Club Ever - the club of people who have lost a child. We're really glad you found us, and we're so sorry you're here. Losing a child is a horrific experience unlike any other; if you're looking for understanding, resources and community, you've come to the right place. Join bereaved mom and licensed psychotherapist Allie Kramer as she sets out to rebuild her life after the loss of her 4-year-old son to brain cancer. She'll be talking to experts in grief, trauma, medicine ...
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When you have a child who has been diagnosed with cancer, you quickly acquire an entirely new vocabulary. Our current word of the week was "neutropenia." Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hannah battled glio…
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Prayer is something we know we need to do daily. Connecting our hearts with God, praying protection over ourselves and our family. We know that it's crucial to our relationship with Jesus, to talk with him daily. But sometimes it can seem hard to "fit it in" with the busyness of life. In this episode I wanted to bring you 3 creative ways that you c…
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April 7, 2011 was the day Heather and her husband Mac had been anticipating with such excitement for 9 months. It was the day their precious, beautiful son Bowen was born. However, within a few short minutes he was whisked away by medical staff because something was very wrong. A day that was supposed to be filled with celebration, suddenly took a …
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Thank you so much for listening! We'd love to hear from you---what you would love to hear, what you like, what helped, etc. With love, Warrior Moms Michele & Amy Brandi joins us for a deeply moving episode of Warrior Moms, where she shares an intimate and poignant story about her son Cole, a young man whose spirit touched everyone he met. Discover …
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While we were still somewhat surprised to be hospitalized, we adjusted quickly to our new surroundings. This was Hannah's first hospitalization since her brain surgery in February ... which is pretty amazing in and of itself, considering all the treatments she'd been through. Arkansas Children's Hospital does an amazing job of making their patients…
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We arrived at Arkansas Children's Hospital on Monday morning all prayed up and psyched up for Hannah's MRI. We had no idea we would be admitted to the hospital instead. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this year-long series in which I share our family’s experiences as our teenage daughter Hann…
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Fifty-two radiation sessions completed. Seven months of chemotherapy treatments in the rear view mirror. Countless needle sticks. Multiple bags of blood products on board. A bald head and an extremely sore throat to show for it. And one MRI scan which would reveal whether or not any of these treatments had had any effect against the tumors in Hanna…
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Welcome to episode #227, which is a continuation of my conversation with John and Lisa Cleland. Last week the Clelands shared with us the story of their son Zac, who was fulfilling his dream of serving as a United States Marine until December of 2021, when he was the victim of fentanyl poisoning. Today, they very honestly discuss the impact of losi…
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One difficult aspect of Hannah's cancer journey was how it affected Bethany. You might remember that when Hannah was first diagnosed, she was in the middle of a prolonged battle against mono. Once she finally recovered from that, she jumped back into all of her school, social, and church activities. But no matter where she went, she was no longer B…
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Hannah's Facebook status from sixteen years ago today was this ... "Hannah is gonna give God the glory when all this is said and done ... no more radiation!" We were so thrilled that Hannah had come through 52 total radiation treatments relatively unscathed. The dreaded side effects outlined at the beginning of the process, for the most part, had n…
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Hannah was now isolated ... but she wasn't alone ... not really. God was with her every step of the way. He had redeemed her and called her by name. There's no other explanation for how she could have accepted everything that happened to her with such grace and peace. I'm so thankful that even though she was isolated, she was never truly alone. Tha…
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Hannah's facebook status from sixteen years ago today was this: "Hannah is frusturated that my immune system is so low that I can't go anywhere besides the hospital ... but only 2 radiations to go so it should get better soon!" I love how Hannah acknowledges her "frusturation" in this status, yet comes back to the positive side ... reminding her re…
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One frustrating thing about Hannah's care is that we rarely had the opportunity to talk privately with her healthcare providers. Hannah was always present, listening attentively, while her doctors and nurses talked with us about her most recent scans, blood work results, treatment plans, etc. I always wondered how honest they were really being when…
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I had the great privilege of visiting with John and Lisa Cleland on the occasion of their son Zac’s 29th birthday recently, and I am pleased to share our conversation with you today. In today’s episode, we hear about Zac and his service to our country as a proud United States Marine right up until his death under mysterious circumstances in Decembe…
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By this point in her treatment, Hannah had endured hundreds of "sticks" ... often two or three in one visit because it was so hard to find a good vein on her. She was such a pro at it, she would often calmly coach the nurses on just which vein to use or how to hold the needle just right in order to have a successful blood draw. With all the platele…
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October 22nd was always a day to look forward to in our home. It was a joyful mile marker, a date to celebrate another year of our precious girl's life. October 22, 2008, was a little different. Hannah's 17th birthday came around just three weeks after we found out that her cancer had returned with a vengeance. Three weeks after her doctor, with te…
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Hannah's facebook status from sixteen years ago today was this ... "Hannah is enjoying being home after the annoying day of another platelet transfusion." Hannah rarely complained, so this expression of annoyance revealed a lot about how she felt about platelet transfusions. She had battled platelet issues off and on throughout the early months of …
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The timing of all these wonderful early birthday gifts couldn't have been better, because the day we had been dreading for so long was suddenly upon us. After all the extended family headed home for the weekend, Hannah reached up to take out her ponytail holder ... and nearly all of her hair came out with it. Thank you for joining me for another bo…
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As Hannah's 17th birthday rapidly approached, I was struggling a little bit with how we were going to celebrate this event with her prognosis dangling over our heads. How could we possibly wring any joy out of this birthday, which, without a miracle, would almost certainly be her last? Thankfully, our amazing family and friends made made the days l…
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Are you facing something new in your life? A new job? Moving to a new house? Or simply just making new memories? Experiencing new things in your life without your child can be so hard. It can be difficult to wade through all the emotions that come with it. Here are 3 things you can do to help you face whatever “new” you’re getting ready to experien…
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In our last episode, Donna Evans shared the challenges and joys of raising her special-needs son James Bruce to adulthood, and the deep grief she experienced when he unexpectedly went to Heaven in February of 2022. Today we have a great conversation about the sovereignty of God in the midst of our broken pieces and the ministry He has given her bec…
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During the year Hannah was battling cancer we received many wonderful gifts. People were so incredibly kind. After the recurrence of her cancer, hot meals were brought to our home nearly every day by people in our little community and from our church and that was such a blessing. I had little opportunity to go to the grocery store during those days…
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Every 39 minutes of every day, someone in the U.S. dies senselessly at the hands of an intoxicated driver! On January 20, 2015, Yolanda Martinez and her family experienced their worst nightmare when their 14 year old son, David, was killed when their family van was hit by a speeding drunk driver. Although badly injured, their daughter and a niece s…
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Sixteen years ago we spent the weekend at the Sullivan family farm and gathering place in the tiny town of Briggsville, Arkansas. While we were there, my sister-in-law pulled out her camera and we did a family photo shoot. Hannah's hair was really starting to let loose and we wanted to get some pictures of our family before it fell out completely. …
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Donna Evans is a wife, mother, and grandmother, author, and conference speaker. Her life was enriched by raising her son James Bruce to adulthood, and she has much to share about both the challenges and blessings of parenting a child with special needs. When James Bruce was five years old, her husband challenged her to stop praying that God would m…
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Hannah's facebook status from sixteen years ago today was, "Hannah is having better days ... getting ready to leave for radiation." And they truly were better days. At this point, she was sailing through the radiation treatments with relatively few side effects. She was thrilled to be well enough to attend a high school football game that weekend a…
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After the cancer recurrence, Hannah and I spent most of our time together just the two of us. Brad was at work, Bethany was at school, and she and I were either at home, at CARTI, at Children's Hospital, or somewhere on the highway in between those places. And somehow, even with a glioblastoma diagnosis hanging over our heads, we enjoyed that time …
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Grief can be so heavy and overwhelming. It can be hard to see our way through it, especially in the early days. And grief also takes a toll on us mentally to where we just can’t do or think about doing anything complicated. So how do we make it through an emotion that’s so heavy with a mental capacity to not doing anything complicated? No worries f…
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Since the recurrence of Hannah's cancer, she had not returned to school, and I had not returned to work. We pretty much stayed holed up in our house, only venturing out for doctors' appointments and radiation treatments. And she and I were fine with that, honestly ... as homebodies we both enjoyed that time together at home. Eventually you have to …
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Billy and Julie Melton's adult daughter Juliana went to Heaven in 2018 after a courageous battle with brain cancer. Today we discuss a wide range of topics, including the holidays, the marriage relationship after child loss, their favorite books, God’s purposes in suffering, and the ministry they started to support grieving parents in their area of…
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Hannah had been so relieved when her oncologist told her that her new chemotherapy drug shouldn't cause hair loss. But when her new radiology oncologist told me that, without a doubt, the radiation would cause her to lose all of her hair, I was heartbroken for her. Thankfully, she accepted the news in typical Hannah fashion. Thank you for joining m…
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The unthinkable happened on January 17, 2023. David Szweda and his family’s lives would never again be the same, as they learned their 24 year old dearly loved son, Hudson had taken his own life. Such pain and loss leave parents utterly broken, wondering if they’ll survive it … and if they even want to. A father’s heart is to protect and care for h…
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It was a bit surreal to find ourselves returning to CARTI just five months after Hannah's initial round of radiation treatments were completed, preparing to start all over again. While I was sitting with Hannah as they created a new mask for her, Brad talked privately with her radiation oncologist. The doctor explained to him that we should not vie…
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The day we returned to Arkansas Children's Hospital to have the sutures removed after Hannah's brain surgery in February 2008, we were told that her tumor was a Grade IV Glioblastoma Multiforme. My brain immediately started whirring; mentally spelling out g-l-i-o-b-l-a-s-t-o-m-a, fully intending to google it the second we got home. Then the doctor'…
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Sixteen years ago today, our family headed to Arkansas Children's Hospital with a suitcase in tow, having no clear idea what was in store for us. We knew we would be meeting with Hannah's oncologist that morning to discuss the MRI results and find out what our plan was now that her cancer had returned. We had been told to come prepared to spend at …
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Juliana Melton Lagesse was a redhead with a contagious laugh and a zest for life who never met a stranger. She had a passion for ministry and for worship, and was a newlywed when she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Her mom and dad, Billy and Julie Melton, join me today to share her story, which is similar to my own in so many ways. Then I…
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Sixteen years ago today, I called our oncology nurse at Children's at 8:00 am and asked her if the scan results were in yet. Of course, they weren't. I explained to her how what had started as a simple brain scan had turned into a lengthy brain and spine scan and she was surprised to hear that. She assured me that as soon as she received the result…
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As the calendar turned to September, I began to detect almost imperceptible signs that something was not quite right with Hannah. I can't even explain what I was seeing ... I really don't even know what it was specifically. But I remember crying to Brad one night (actually several nights) that I felt like she was leaving us, bit by tiny bit. Then, …
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I'm not normally a crier...I hate to cry in front of people, even my own family members. I don't even cry very often when I'm alone. But there are times when the tears get started and they just won't stop. Sixteen years ago today was one of those days. I had an appointment to get a haircut that day, and I almost canceled it because Hannah was still…
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It never fails. Shortly after school starts back every fall, there's a bout of stomach virus that goes around. With kids once again in close proximity to one another in crowded classrooms, the dreaded bug seems to spread like wildfire. Few are spared its ugly effects. In the fall of 2008, the stomach bug made its way to our home, and Hannah was its…
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Have you been struggling with the state of the world right now? Have you been wrestling with the uncertainty of the future? How is it all going to work out when it seems impossible right now? Well friends, this episode is for you! God has shown me something that I’m so excited to share with you. Something that I believe will give you peace even in …
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Molly Huffman's son Tage was diagnosed with a terminal genetic disease shortly after his birth in 2014, and he went to Heaven at the age of 8 months old, leaving her deep in sorrow. Today's episode features Molly's presentation at last year’s Our Hearts Are Home conference and in this session, she walks us through her favorite biblical passage rela…
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Sixteen years ago today, Hannah turned in a rough draft of an essay to her second period English teacher. The students had been assigned the task of writing about an experience that impacted their life. Today's episode is Hannah's story in her own words. Thank you for joining me for another bonus episode of the While We're Waiting podcast in this y…
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After nine long months of waiting for the much anticipated arrival of their first child, a daughter,Ashlie, Erin Maroon and her husband Anthony were crushed and heartbroken as her doctor delivered Ashlie and discovered she was stillborn at full term. Without warning, their long awaited joy and dreams abruptly vanished. How do young parents even beg…
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We arrived home from the American Idol concert experience on Sunday evening. The remnants of Hurricane Ike had blown themselves out and so had the storm in my mind ... at least somewhat. Monday brought our regular clinic visit for blood work and some much-needed reassurance that things were going well. My email from sixteen years ago today reveals …
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Sixteen years ago today, my girls and I continued our tradition of attending American Idol concerts together. Hannah was so excited to go, and couldn't wait to cheer on David Cook, her favorite singer that year. But the onset of fatigue and dizziness caused us to leave the concert early that evening. As I drove home through the stormy weather that …
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Today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Pat Elsberry. Last week Pat introduced us to her daughter Melanie, and talked about the day she received a phone call from a police detective informing her that Melanie had been found dead in a hotel room from an accidental drug overdose. Today we discuss the brokenness she experienced in th…
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At this point, Hannah was pretty much sailing through her treatments ... in fact, those were her oncologist's exact words! Other than the fact that her hair was still a little thin in spots due to the radiation treatments, nobody would have guessed that she was battling brain cancer. We were feeling really good about where we were at this point in …
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A few years back I had a fresh revelation of a very familiar story in the Bible. This story reminds us how Jesus meets us in the hardest moments and offers us something incredible in return. He doesn’t leave us alone in this messy life, but is so close to us. If you're looking for hope and a reminder of Jesus' constant presence in your life, this e…
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I’m so pleased to introduce you to my new friend Pat Elsberry. Her beautiful daughter Melanie died from an accidental drug overdose in February of 2020, after years of battling substance use disorder. In today’s episode, Pat shares the struggles she and Melanie walked through together, and about the day she received a phone call from a police detec…
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